Question: In the past men used to court women for a long time, but today this custom has practically disappeared. Does that mean anything with regard to establishing a solid relationship with a woman?
Answer: Today there is hardly any courtship. There is a certain attitude that I would call flirting, reaching out to connect, but not courting.
Therefore, we have to take into account all the mutual psychological elements here. In order to establish a deep relationship, we have to start from a distance, from internal intersections, understanding, and mutuality. There is no need to rush. The need for connection should be given time to develop and to acquire more nuances.
We shouldn’t rush into physical contact. If it occurs it should be the eruption of a fully ripe desire. If not, it is a great miss of all the flitting connections that are so typical of our time.
This is the reason that people start a relationship and immediately breakup and then start another one and break up again. This goes on continuously as if they are looking for something new each day, but in fact there is nothing new here since a person doesn’t even see who he starts a relationship with.
A physical connection should first be internal so that one should feel how one’s partner enjoys and also that he/she wants me to enjoy. Then we feel how love erupts in this mutual connection in which we delight one other. Then everything connects: our feelings, sex, and even the mind.
The mind allows one to feel one’s partner to the depth of his/her personality and allows him/her to feel me. When we physically touch one another we connect through this intimate connection in the same feeling. Sex is the lowest level of sensing. There are five levels of sensing: sight, hearing, smell, taste, and feeling.
Feeling is the lowest level of sensing through the skin and this actually sums up the essence of sexual relations. After all, what is sex? We simply rub against each other, but thanks to additional feelings such as our desire to delight one another, we raise sex from the most primitive level to the top, to the level of Keter, to the most exalted pleasure. Therefore, sexual relations are considered the greatest pleasure in this world.
When can sexual relations be considered the greatest pleasure? Only when we can raise them to the level of the internal connection, otherwise, it remains a simple feeling on the lowest level.
There are many instruments today by which both men and women can reach sexual satisfaction even without a partner. If they don’t need anything from the other, when there is no need for the inner connection, it isn’t a problem to find a mechanical substitute for a partner.
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 6/9/13