Comment: If a person is present in the general system, then accordingly there should be relations between the parts of the system that are built in a certain way according to a correct algorithm.

My Response: The only correct algorithm regarding relations would be for each part of the system to exist only in order to support all the other parts and for itself, it would only get as much as it needed to function correctly in this way.

Question: How do the male and female parts of the system, literally husband and wife, relate to this?

Answer: Husband and wife should be focused on supporting each other as well as what is produced from their relationship.

Question: How can a woman support her husband as effectively as possible? In what way should this support be carried out in relation to his development, in terms of his existence in the corporeal world, and perhaps in terms of a spiritual goal?

Answer: I don’t think there is much difference between men and women or husbands and wives. They must both live according to an understanding of the meaning of their existence. What end should they come to? What is the most important thing in their lives?

They need to keep working on this. There are a lot of options here, but all of them should be aimed at achieving a common goal.
[275993]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 12/7/20

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Question: I recently watched your video where you say that you cannot get a divorce, only as the last resort when there are children involved.

So what can I do when there are no feelings left for each other and the children see that? When there is only fighting and annoyance with each other? How can it be good for the children to grow up in such an atmosphere? I don’t love him, do you understand? Don’t hold me back.

My Response: I am holding you back. I would like to restrain both you and him. Because you are no longer children like your kids  you need to understand that it is still much better for you, for your children, for your family, and for society for you not to divorce, but simply to stop paying attention to certain feelings.

Question: But how can they achieve peace, more or less?

Answer: They should agree not to annoy each other. That’s it! What else is there to do? Let your relationship involve a bit of politics, some agreement and reasoning, rising above yourselves.
To say: “I don’t like things about him, he doesn’t like things about me” is childish!

Question: In general, it is possible to agree on areas to avoid?

Answer: Absolutely! If they already have children, then they are clearly mature people. If you have children, you have no right to divorce. For the sake of your children. The kids won’t forgive you. They will carry it with them throughout their lives.

Question: So, if she thinks about the children at this moment, and not about herself, about her annoyance?

Answer: Then she will not be annoyed.

Question: What does it involve? Forgiveness of all his mistakes or what? How to make concessions here?

Answer: To reduce each other’s vulnerability, your sensitivity to each other, claims against each other. Imagine that the other has a right to his behavior, to his life. And at the same time, you have a common life. And this common life, first of all, concerns your children, and not you personally. Don’t be so selfish! Live for the sake of the children. This should not be a source of pain for your children.

Question: Is this the real responsibility?

Answer: Yes. Of course.

Comment: People don’t think that children are affected by this their whole lives.

My Response: No. This will have a big impact on the children. And the children will also get divorced because their parents did the same.

Question: Does it follow the chain?

Answer: It does.

Question: And it extends to the next generation?

Answer: Yes. And if they didn’t see the parent’s divorce, then, despite the fact that there are very big differences between them and general fighting, children will still preserve their families.

Question: So you also look at other generations?

Answer: Certainly. Because “what parents do serves as an example for children.”
[276411]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 11/23/20

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My new article on Linkedin “Amen and A-Woman? Gender Equality Campaign Does Not Change Nature”

On Monday, January 4, Rep. Emanuel Cleaver (D-MO), concluded the opening prayer at the end of the first day of the new Congress with the words “Amen and ‘A-woman.” Even Cleaver seemed uncomfortable when asked about his alteration of the traditional conclusion of the prayer as he said to Snopes.com: “I concluded with a light-hearted pun in recognition of the record number of women who will be representing the American people in Congress.”

As I see it, the whole notion of gender equality has gone too far for something that we can’t really change. Men and women aren’t the same, just as male and female aren’t the same in nature. Our bodies, including our psyches, belong to the animal kingdom, and just as lions and lionesses behave differently, so do people.

We can decide that we want to define our gender identity one way or another way, or no way at all, but it will not make us happier. It will only keep us constantly on the edge, having to defend our choice. But nature is nature, is nature; it does not change according to our whims. If we go against nature, we suffer.

Just as it is much harder to swim upstream than downstream, it is much harder to defend false views about life than to hold truthful ones. And the fact that someone told us that one view and not the other is the view to follow doesn’t make it any truer.

There is a good reason why there are two distinct genders in nature, and both are indispensable for the success of human society, and life as a whole. Genders are not superior or inferior to each other; they are complementary! Only when we look at life from this perspective we can truly appreciate our value as human beings, the value of our partners, and the value of our relationships. When we have good relationships, we are happy people, and in the end, happiness is all we need.

Filed under: Man and Woman, New Publications - No Comments →

Question: How can a woman better support a man in our world? There is an opinion that she should not work at all but should devote herself as much as possible to supporting a man.

Answer: I believe, in the near future, it will be so because we will stop producing an insane amounts of completely unnecessary products.

Life will gradually take on a more balanced state and, therefore, there will be no need for women to work. Even the need for a significant number of men to work will disappear. Everyone will be more engaged in the theory and practice of building correct relationships between themselves as well as between the genders.

All of this will be implemented very quickly and correctly. I do not see any big problems here. The problems are the same for both men and women. Especially in our time. I do not think that men will work more and women’s work will not be needed at all.

There are some professions that are better performed by women. Men, as they say, can rest, that is, they will be released from such duties that they are unable to do as a result of their internal, psychological organization.

Therefore, we are not talking about removing women from all jobs and keeping men only. I think that almost all women can really be spared from working outside of the home but, if necessary, will be involved in it. Men will be involved too to the extent that they are needed in order to produce what is necessary for existence.

The rest of the time will be devoted only to mastering the technique of mutual connection in order to raise all of humanity to the level of the system of the upper world.

Question: So, people were not created to work at all?

Answer: In principle, no. The same goes for the inanimate, vegetative, and animal levels. Strange as it may sound today, they will be fed only with the energy that we people will produce through our correct interactions. We have yet to see this special world.
[276025]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 12/7/20

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Question: What is the reason that feminism has dominated in the world for the last two centuries?

Answer: Feminism is the result of the fact that a woman has felt the need to develop and participate in the world. She has really developed to be no less than men. She can cope with everything maybe even better than men.

In general, competition between the sexes is absolutely unnecessary. At home, none of us competes to see who will be the best at arranging life and everything else. It is clear to us that a woman is capable of this beyond any competition. She can do such work at home in half an hour that a man will not be able to do in a day or, on the contrary, will ruin everything. That is how we are made.

Therefore, we need to know how and with what we can properly complement each other and, thus, build relationships with one another, especially in our time when we are already beginning to move away from the useless, completely unnecessary work that has filled our time. We will filter out absolutely everything that is unnecessary so that only the most necessary work will remain.

Then, we will need maybe 20% of the entire population to launch the whole system that will serve people and the world. All the rest of the time, we will only be engaged in providing for our inner needs and understanding how to unite and achieve the manifestation of the upper world within us. This, I think, will be very special and attractive for the new generation.
[276078]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 12/7/20

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Question: Is the very meeting of future parents in our world predetermined or not?

Answer: It is predetermined. It was no accident that I met this person.

Question: Why is this done? Why do couples connect in this way?

Answer: There are no coincidences in the world. No coincidences at all! As it is said in The Master and Margarita: “The brick is neither here nor there… it never merely falls on someone’s head from out of nowhere.”

Question: If so, is the birth of a particular child who will be born predetermined?

Answer: Everything is absolutely predetermined until the end of all time. There is nothing new.

Question: Can we say that there is a good time for conceiving a child?

Answer: That doesn’t matter either, and it also does not depend on people. It is all arranged from above, and so it happens. In fact, a person does not choose anything.

Question: But when parents decide they want to have a child, what should they think about?

Answer: That they want to make a good person who would be useful to the world and would enjoy the fact that he is beneficial to the world.

Question: What is “to benefit the world”?

Answer: To bring people together.

Comment: Imagine giving this task to parents!

My Response: They think about it in the act of conception. As it is written in Ketuvim, Job 3:2: “Would the day in which I was to be born be lost, and the night when one said, ‘A man has impregnated.'”

Comment: Usually a person thinks more about himself, so that there is a good, kind, warm, beloved, healthy child. Think about him more.

My Response: No. By this you do not make a child but an animal. And if you think about how he will be in the world as a person, for the world, then you make a person.

Question: What if a couple cannot conceive a child, but they really want to?

Answer: Try as much as you can. You cannot do anything. Even today it still depends on higher providence.

Question: And what will help more here: going to healers or doctors?

Answer: We must visit doctors, we must do everything possible.

Question: And at the same time ask the upper one to help?

Answer: Of course, all together.

Question: When will He hear this request?

Answer: This is unknown to us. As much as people strive to do good to each other and with the Creator, the closer they will be to the fulfillment of this desire, although this does not guarantee it.

Comment: It is not very clear: “good to each other and with the Creator.” Explain this point, please.

My Response: To act between each other as it was originally established by the Creator.

Question: How is this established?

Answer: Everything is built on goodness.

Question: How should expectant parents behave during pregnancy?

Answer: We must be considerate with each other, especially with a woman. And try so that a woman during pregnancy has good thoughts, music, readings. In general, to influence her with positive and more elevated emotions and knowledge. All this influences the child very much.

Question: What kind of music would you choose?

Answer: I personally support classical music because it is the most proper, the most complete. Of course, not heavy but soft classics.

Question: What should a woman during pregnancy think about?

Answer: It is written about this in the Torah that a woman only thinks about the one who is in her, who was conceived and grows in her. Only about him. Nature has already foreseen this, so there is no need to interfere with it.

Question: What is the most critical time of pregnancy?

Answer: As a rule, the first few months. Then the foundation of the child is laid.

Question: When should the child be handed over to the mother?

Answer: You must immediately place the child on her so that he feels that he is still connected with the mother.

Question: Does this give him more security?

Answer: Both to her and to him. There must be a connection. It is very important.

Question: What does mother’s milk mean for baby’s growth?

Answer: Mother’s milk is not necessarily from his mother, it can be from another woman. Although, it is preferable for the child to receive milk from his mother. And this milk is the closest substance to the child, carrying so many elements we do not even suspect.

Question: What does the baby get with mother’s milk?

Answer: It is impossible to express. The upper light, called Ohr Hassadim, light of mercy, he receives from above through his mother’s milk.

Question: How does a mother communicate with a breastfeeding baby?

Answer: She talks to him through it. He feels her through her chest and she feels him through her chest. This is an amazing mechanism in both animals and humans.

Question: How long should a mother breastfeed her baby?

Answer: It is generally recommended up to two years.

Comment: Nobody follows this.

My Response: I know that no one follows it. But, according to the spiritual law, breastfeeding should be up to two years.

Question: And if you must go to work as it is today?

Answer: Well, everyone does, that is true. Who cares about some spiritual or natural laws?

Comment: You are saying that everything is predetermined and all actions are predetermined.

My Response: If you ruin your life, do not blame nature.

Question: So, we ruined life so much? We send mothers to work in six months, a year, and so on.

Answer: Of course.

Question: What needs to be done to make things right?

Answer: To make it right—the woman should not work at all.

Comment: This, of course, is impossible in our times.

My Response: Why? Why is it bad if only the man works and earns enough for his family, and this would be enough for the family to live normally, calmly, quietly?

Question: Tell me, if the mother is annoyed or after a quarrel with the father, should she feed or not feed the child at that moment?

Answer: This is not good. The child will feel this very much on himself, and therefore, such states are absolutely undesirable! A woman must be protected, isolated from any negative, unwanted influences.

Question: That is, all this enters the child, both irritation and hatred?

Answer: Of course. All this will creep into the child and manifest in negative consequences.

Question: Does the infant generally feel what is happening at home in parental relationships?

Answer: Of course. He feels everything. Everything is felt by him “through the air” even if it is in the next house, in another city. All of this is transmitted. He is very sensitive. The mother for him is like a receiver that he listens to and perceives even if she does not say anything to him. But everything that affects the mother, he feels it all.

Question: It turns out that the mother is like a sixth sense for him?

Answer: Of course. It seems to us that he came out of the mother and the umbilical cord was cut off. Nothing is cut.
[274965]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/5/20

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Question: There are seven basic emotions that are accompanied by facial expressions: sadness, anger, contempt, disgust, fear, surprise, and joy. Charles Darwin also considered love as a basic emotion, although it has no facial expression.

How can you properly express your feelings, including love?

Answer: It depends on the character of the person. Everyone expresses emotions in their own way. Certain expressions correspond to certain types of people.

But, in principle, you don’t have to think about how to express them. You just need to be more frank with others, try to make them feel good near you, and then any of your facial expressions will be read correctly.
[274622]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 11/6/20

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Question: Who is a real man? Some psychologists claim that a real man is a man who has realized himself, who has a cause with a capital “C”, a family, a woman, he is responsible for somebody. There are ten indications of a real man to point out. First: He relies only on himself.

Answer: This is an unfortunate man. How can he count on himself? Only if he trudges along the prairie with his cattle and that is it. Today, how can he rely on himself? Who is he to rely only on himself? He must count on a huge number of people who can help him, support him, and so on. This is a real man—the one surrounded by a lot of friends.

Remark: The next indication: He is self-sufficient.

My Comment: What does it mean he is self-sufficient? “I need nothing. What I have is what I need. I am smart enough, successful enough, confident enough.” Well, what is it? You can tell such a thing only to a child who will be inspired in this way.

Remark: Sometimes you really want to be confident in yourself.

My Comment: You should not be. This is where all growth ends.

Remark: The next indication: He is independent.

My Comment: This also cannot be. How can a person does not depend on anything? He depends on nature, on people surrounding him; he depends on everyone! In our time, independence does not exist for a person, for society, for a state, or in general for the entire planet.

Question: Does he depend on everyone and on everything around him?

Answer: Of course. The more he grows, the more dependent he is on everyone.

Remark: He does not ask for help.

My Comment: So, what? Does he rely on himself?

Remark: From all of the above, he relies on himself, and he does not ask for help. He is like that: “I will not ask for help. I will do it myself.”

My Comment: He is dumb. He does not even understand with his brains that he really depends on everyone and everything.

Question: Do you think a real man is the one who can ask for help, who can have such a weakness?

Answer: Who understands that he is weak.

Question: This radically changes everything. Does he realize that he is weak and asks for help?

Answer: Yes.

Remark: Another indication: He does not compromise.

My Comment: Then he will be killed or he will be a killer. It is impossible not to compromise. It is through compromises that we come to the right conclusions. Right decisions are somewhere in the middle.

We cannot live without compromises! No one can! Especially business people, politicians, etc. A person should understand that nature consists of plus and minus. Everything lives on compromise.

Remark: The next indication: He does not compare. For example, he does not compare himself to others.

My Comment: But how will he grow if he does not envy, if he does not compare? I have to compare and be envious, I have to see that this is not in my favor, and that will spur me on to growth.

Question: Do you mean to envy not in order to lower another person but to rise above him?

Answer: It depends on the previous points.

Question: Yes. Are comparisons necessary?

Answer: Yes.

Remark: The next one: He accepts himself as he is.

My Comment: Only a mother can accept a baby as it is. Nobody will accept me as I am. I will be humiliated, pushed away all the time, and so on. I, too, must see myself as I am, what I should be, and try to grow in this way all the time.

Question: Is it not that I do not accept myself as I am, but that I must grow all the time. So, if I am who I am, do I stop?

Answer: Of course. Everything develops dialectically.

Remark: Next point: He avoided the midlife crisis or survived it with the least loss.

My Comment: I do not know what the midlife age has to do with it. I do not feel it and have never felt it.

Remark: It is because you found the purpose of life when you were thirty three years old.

My Comment: In my opinion, it continues with me. What does a midlife crisis mean? What should be in this crisis? That I think about what has passed and what else will be, where I am, and what I should do with my life?

Remark: I think that the search for the meaning of life also suits here. It says: “survived it with the least loss.”

My Comment: Agree with what I have and sail on.

Remark: It looks like it.

My Comment:: No, that is not me.

Question: Does this crisis need to exist all the time?

Answer: Yes. A midlife crisis, if we call it this way, is a necessary account of what has been done and what has not yet been done, and that there is still a lot of work ahead. I have to believe that when I do all this, then I will reach middle age.

Question: Is the fact that I, for example, have found a place in life and calmed down, awful, in your opinion?

Answer: This is death.

In general, we have not coped with these ten commandments.

Remark: Yes, we have failed. We do not agree, we have it all in the opposite way: complete dependence, constant insecurity, an endless road; you never stop, you never rest.

My Comment: Open your eyes and see. Without any literary tricks. You will see that it is all opposite to what is written.
[273611]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/21/20

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Question: In the first parts of the integral education courses, men and women study together. Some research suggests that in a production team where there are women, many decisions are made much better and faster. And when we are engaged in spiritual development, there must be a division at some stage. Why?

Answer: There must be a gender division because in Kabbalah we work with very deep internal properties of a person and mixed groups are a great hindrance. At the initial stage, men and women can work together for several months, no more than six months, and then they quickly need to be separated.

Question: Do they need to be divided by age?

Answer: Age doesn’t really matter. I believe that it is even better to mix them so that, as in our daily life, the old help the young, and the young help the old. There is no contradiction in this.

Nature did not divide us sharply by age. On the contrary, generations help and support each other. But joint male and female training can be very harmful in that it will deviate people from the intentions of bestowal and love to the level of hormones.
[273550]
From KabTV’s “Communication Skills” 8/21/20

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Question: In your opinion, what should an ideal husband be like?

Answer: A perfect husband is the one who’s wife is happy with him. For if she is not happy with him, he will not be perfect. After all, who characterizes the husband? His wife.

Question: How do I make my wife happy?

Answer: A woman doesn’t need much. You need to tell her a bit more often how much you love and appreciate her, respect her, how attractive she is in your eyes and is only getting better all the time.

Question: What should a perfect wife be like?

Answer: A perfect wife is the one who supports and encourages her husband. Only this way can they acquire great inner strength, each one and both of them together, when they can overcome anything and build a truly good family.
[272613]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah Express” 9/1/20

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