Question: How does one recognize that he is at a point of choice?
Answer: If you see clearly what is better, this is not a choice—it’s knowledge. And if you don’t understand what’s better, this too is not a choice; it is lack of knowledge.
A choice is possible when you see two equal components in front of you, but it’s impossible to solve anything with them by preferring one over the other. You see that both the desire to receive and the desire to bestow are equally needed; you cannot get by without either of them. You are situated right in the middle between them and you are confident that you must use both of them.
After all, how can I bestow if I don’t use my egoism? I can carry out some actions only due to my desire to enjoy. Yet how can I bestow if I don’t use the desire to bestow? It is impossible to proceed without either one of these desires. So how do we use them together?
I need to first build the attitude of love toward the one to whom this action is directed. And to the extent of my love, I will feel his desire, accept it and make it my own, and then I will be able to use my two desires, two forces, in order to fill his desire in me, like a mother fills an embryo (Ubar) in her womb. And then I make it more external for me, and this is called “feeding” (Yenika) or a big state (Gadlut).
This is how these states are built due to a third force that elucidates them. Then where is this third force? It is the one to whom I wish to bestow.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/19/10, Writings of Baal HaSulam