It therefore follows that each one should try to bring into the society a spirit of life and hopefulness, and infuse energy into the society. Thus, each of the friends will be able to tell himself, “Now I am starting a clean slate in the work.” In other words, before he came to the society, he was disappointed with the progress in the work of the Creator, but now the society has filled him with life and hopefulness.

Thus, through the society, he obtained the confidence and strength to overcome because now he feels that he can achieve wholeness (Rabash, Article 30 “What to Look for in the Assembly of Friends”).

There is an apparent principle in Kabbalah: There is Kabbalah, and there is material life. Separate this clearly with an iron wall.

In this life your personal aspects are your body, food, family, children, whatever you want. On the other hand, we need to comprehend the Creator, our activities, our group, and our friends without mixing.

Although we consist of two parts, male and female, we cannot mix them. However, the woman is given an opportunity to ask questions, listen, and participate.

Women have very powerful Hisaron, and you can feel how they pressure men; this is very good. And we must take their pure Hisaron, pure desire, and connect it to ourselves.

It is what we study from the structure of the spiritual Partzuf. Malchut, located below, is the female part. And the restriction (Tzimtzum), the screen (Masach), the reflected light (Ohr Hozer), this is all the male part, which is included in the first nine Sefirot where the upper light is obtained and the Creator is revealed.

That is, the Creator is revealed in a woman’s desire, formed with the help of a man’s intention.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/17/20, “Preparation for the Convention”

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Question: Can women enter into mutual guarantee (Arvut)?

Answer: Of course they can. What is the problem? If the men enter, then you will enter. You must fully help men because the male part determines, and the female part gives its pressure—Aviut. Without proper interaction between us, we will not be able to achieve this.

Mutual guarantee is the birth of a spiritual state. It comes only from the correct correspondence of the male and female parts in the Kli.
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From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/17/20, “Preparation for the Convention”

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Question: How can one become righteous in the family?

Answer: Make an agreement with your wife, and she will turn you into a righteous. I am speaking quite seriously. If the wife wants to, she will systematically influence her husband in every matter, in every action, and he will involuntarily correct himself.

Question: We learn that everyone goes through ascents and descents. Presumably, a woman does too. She may not always be able to influence her husband. What should be done during these moments of decline?

Answer: Of course, mutual effort is necessary here as both want to make their family correct and righteous so that their children become the same.

Therefore, go ahead and act, and you will succeed.
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From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

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Question: The Midrash Rabbah says: “She went and married a wicked man, and she turned him righteous.” Why can a woman make one righteous and another wicked?

Answer: This is not really a question for me. The point is that in the end, everything depends on the woman. If she wants, she will control her husband in such a way that he will become a righteous man.

Question: Does the woman decide for herself, or does the Creator direct her this way?

Answer: We do not know that. It is not important. The main thing is that the husband sees her instructions.

Question: What if he does not see her instructions?

Answer: This means that she does not act, does not put pressure on him. Every woman can influence her man. We believe that the man is the leader in the family, that he is in charge of everything, but this is only how it seems to us.

This can be compared to a very beautiful car the appearance of which everyone admires but no one looks at the engine inside. A woman is such an engine

Question: Can a man somehow influence a woman if he also wants to become a righteous person or if they want this together?

Answer: If they want it together, then maybe. There are many different tricks here. But basically, this is the prerogative of women.

Question: So you need to adapt to “her voice”?

Answer: You cannot say that you need to adapt. That is just how life works. But if they both decided to become righteous, then mutual work certainly takes place between them.
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From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

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Question: If women can influence men with their inner voice, if they are so omnipotent, why don’t they exert their influence to somehow ease the world’s suffering?

Answer: This is a common problem for both men and women. But if women wanted to, they could certainly change the world. They would turn their husbands around so much that they would inevitably become righteous and make the world different.

Question: But will this ever happen? What does it depend on? What is missing?

Answer: It depends on men and the Creator. We men need to ask urgently and constantly act in this direction.

A woman can also act. It is much easier for her to do this because she can ask through her husband.
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From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

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Question: Why is there such a complex system in our spiritual work: men’s tens, women’s tens, and a lot of different books that need to be studied?

Answer: This is only necessary in order to correct the heart.

We need so many books and courses because we are too entangled in ourselves.
[328526]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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Question: Is it necessary for everyone to dine together in the family?

Answer: No, it is not necessary. Usually, the wife and children eat separately and the husband eats separately. But once a week on Shabbat, they all dine together.

We are naturally designed in such a way that the wife is the home, and the husband works and earns. This comes from spiritual roots. We did not invent this, and it is not for us to change it. We just have to continue on this path.

Question: Why does this seem primitive to many people today?

Answer: I do not think it is primitive. I believe it preserves the family when the mother cooks for everyone, and if the daughters are already grown up, they help her, and everyone sits at the same table and dines together. This strengthens the family.

Question: But still, if I now tell myself that your place is in the kitchen, that is your job: both spiritually and physically, it is like… There are days when I spend most of my time at home doing household chores, but at some point, I feel that it dulls me. Are these some new qualities in women?

Answer: Perhaps. But the most important thing is simply to understand how we can be closer to each other. And the meal is certainly a very important, shared property. After all, while preparing it, we think about each other: what he likes, what I like, and how we can enjoy the prepared food together. It is a whole process.

Comment: When I cook for the family, I really love listening to your lessons. If I do not turn on a lesson, I feel like something is missing. Then I turn it on, and it feels completely different.

Answer: Correct, spiritual nourishment goes along with regular food.
[328295]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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In a family of Kabbalists, the wife fills her husband not only with food calories but also with her desires, and he must fill her with his spiritual work.

Desire is transmitted through food. Rabash was amazingly developed: he could tell by the food what was happening in the family.

Question: Can a woman tie a man to her by what she cooks for him?

Answer: Of course. It is not in vain that it is said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Question: And what is the way to a woman’s heart?

Answer: Only through one’s attitude. Nothing else. Show her love and affection. Spouses should not just exist in the same area but should be connected spiritually and physically.
[328285]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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Rabash writes in the article “Partnership” that a man must work. Just as he used to go hunting animals, today he goes to earn money and brings his earnings home.

Question: Is it in the nature of men to work hard or do they like to earn and bring money to the family?

Answer: It depends on the wife: how she sets him up, how she sees him off, and how she greets him once he is back. This is very important and can even affect earnings.
[328394]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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In his article “Partnership,” Rabash writes about an ideal relationship where the husband works and brings home money and the wife’s work is to cook tasty meals, and everyone is happy.

That is a simple life example of correct relations. The husband brings earnings, which is his task, and the wife assures everyone is satisfied. That is the way it should be in every family.

Of course, we understand that Rabash lived in the previous century when a woman stayed home with children and pots and pans. She had enough work around the house. Nothing was closed for her, but she was not obligated to develop.

Through her labor and attachment to her man, she received from him whatever he had without making any mental effort. She received it only through her mere attachment and exertion of caring for her family.

Question: Does it mean that development does not depend on mental efforts?

Answer: No, at least for women that is true.
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From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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