In the News (Theory and Practice): “Love is not always good; it can cause pain of loss, provoke violence. In terms of brain physiology, love is just a hormonal process that can be controlled by desire!

“The desire to get rid of love occurs when this feeling is similar to a disease.

“Love, which can bring people together and keep them close to give birth and bring up offspring, is the basis of survival of the species. It runs: 1) sexual desire, 2) sympathy and 3) attachment.

1) Sexual desire drives us to meet with potential partners, 2) sympathy lets you choose among them the suitable one, 3) attachment helps to create a long-term relationship and gives us the strength to work until the parental duty is fulfilled.

“The work of each of the three systems is based on hormones, produced by the body. Sexual attraction is associated with estrogen and testosterone – sex hormones in men and women.

“The ability to assess the attractiveness comes from pleasure and stress hormones (dopamine, serotonin, adrenaline), which direct us to the object of desire, causing a sense of excitement in his or her presence.

“Affection is born of the action of neuromodulators (oxytocin and vasopressin); they inspire us with a sense of calm and confidence, ease in relationships.

“But since these three subsystems operate simultaneously, we may desire one partner, consider the other attractive, maintain an ongoing relationship with the third one.

“Testosterone creates attachment, and oxytocin binds attachment to attraction – so that the most favorite is the one who is closest.

“In the first months, love resembles obsessive-compulsive disorder. But a year later serotonin levels go back to normal, and the idealization of the partner disappears.

“The hormones that are responsible for attachment and reducing stress (vasopressin, oxytocin and dopamine) are produced during touching, cuddling, sex, breastfeeding. They hold together couples, mothers and their offspring.”

My Comment: The main thing is not to interfere in a natural process with pills. Education in line with global good relationships, as the wisdom of Kabbalah teaches us, will balance the secretion of hormones and lead to improved relationships—friendship, love, and family.
[153632]

Related Material:
Forecasting How Long Love Will Last
Hugging A Loved One Strengthens Health
Love Is Ordained By Nature

Filed under: Children, Family, Love, Man and Woman, News, Sex, Society - No Comments →

The Torah, “Leviticus,” 20:10: And a man who commits adultery with [another] man’s wife, committing adultery with the wife of his fellow the adulterer and the adulteress shall surely be put to death. All desires exist in a person and are divided into male and female parts. The first nine Sefirot are the male part. The tenth Sefira Malchut is the female part.

To commit adultery with a married woman means using a corrected desire that is not yours. If your tenth Sefira is not corrected, it isn’t your woman since it still belongs to the other nine Sefirot. You cannot use it correctly in order to bestow and will not succeed in doing so.
[151101]
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 4/23/14

Related Material:
The Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery”
The Commandment: “Thou Shalt Not Steal”
The Commandment: Love Thy Friend

Filed under: Man and Woman, Marriage, Spiritual Work, Torah - No Comments →

The Torah, “Leviticus,” 20:17: And a man who takes his sister, whether his father’s daughter or his mother’s daughter, and he sees her nakedness, and she sees his nakedness, it is a disgraceful act, and they shall be cut off before the eyes of the members of their people; he uncovered his sister’s nakedness; he shall bear his sin.

Question: What does it mean to see the nakedness of one’s mother and sister?

Answer: It means that no Light of Hassadim is without clothing, and it cannot in any way communicate with her. In spiritual world communications, i.e., contacts between all the desires and intentions, must pass through the Light of Hassadim through the property of bestowal.

If he takes these garments off, this is the action of reception. Nudity is allowed only between a husband and a wife because they are one body and one desire. Even between them there are limitations.

There are many conditions that limit the use of a desire because you cannot come into contact with the upper Light with all of the desire until complete correction.

The Torah, “Leviticus,” 20:18: And a man who lies with a woman who has a flow, and he uncovers her nakedness he has bared her fountain, and she has uncovered the fountain of her blood. Both of them shall be cut off from the midst of their people.

Comment: We are talking about a ban upon a contact that may not result in the birth of a new degree.

You cannot enter into an intimate relationship with a woman during her monthly bleeding. In our world menstruation prevents full intercourse leading to pregnancy. Since in this case the birth of a new degree is eliminated, it is forbidden to make the contact with a woman.

The Torah, “Leviticus,” 20:19: And you shall not uncover the nakedness of your mother’s sister or your father’s sister, for he would be baring his close relative; they shall bear their sin.

Comment: There can be no next of kin of the father and mother while being in contact with the highest degree. You are shorted only for your father and your mother, or for others, starting with the second line of kinship. And as far as the cousins are considered to be your consanguineous bond, neither can you enter into a contact with them.
[151237]
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book”

Related Material:
The Light Attenuation System
The Prohibition Of Incest
The Mutation And Correction Of Mutual Human Relations

Filed under: Man and Woman, Marriage, Spirituality, Torah - No Comments →

The Torah, “Leviticus” (Kedoshim), 19:29: You shall not defile your daughter by making her a harlot, lest the Land fall into Harlotry and the land be filled with immorality.

Question: On the one hand, it says: “shall not defile your daughter,” and then it says: “lest the land fall into Harlotry.” What is the connection between the daughter and the land?

Answer: A person gives birth to the male and the female desire of the next level. Therefore, their work should be arranged so that they will be able to become the basis of the next upper level. The term “land” refers to a homeland, (earth, desire) which is a desire that shouldn’t be profaned or impure.

The female inclination (desire) is considered the basis of every level: it gives birth, brings up the offspring, and formats the next level. Therefore the desire should be guarded, “shall not defile your daughter by making her a harlot.”

Every level usually simultaneously produces the male and the female inclinations, but the Torah only speaks about giving birth to sons since the reference to a son always included the birth of a daughter. There cannot be one without the other according to spiritual laws: nine Sefirot and the tenth Sefira, which is Malchut (the female inclination).

Question: What does it mean to make your next level a harlot?

Answer: To make it a harlot refers to receiving for myself. There are only two states: you either work for the external ego of others according to the rule of “love thy friend as thyself” regardless of the fact that they may be egoists or not. When you fill them you correct yourself. At the same time when they receive the Light through you, they are also corrected by it.

On the other hand, if you don’t do that, then the earth, which means the general desire, becomes filled with prostitution, with receiving for myself.

Question: Is there a difference between a male or a female “making… a harlot?”

Answer: A female “making … a harlot” is much stronger than the male since the male is one phase while the female produces from the next generating levels because they immediately spread and multiply (procreate).

Comment: In our world a man takes his being unfaithful lightly, while for a woman it is considered a very deep state.

Answer: This happens because the tenth Sefira belongs to the first nine Sefirot. The male part (the first nine Sefirot) looks for the suitable Malchut and can have many, even a thousand.

If we speak about the power of the radiation energy, that which comes from a man can fill thousands of people. In order to receive this energy, a woman has to be like Malchut for Zeir Anpin to him, which means to belong to him. Therefore, the attribute of the female part should adhere to him and be loyal; it should be faithful to him.

If this attribute doesn’t exist in order to connect to Zeir Anpin, the next generations would not be born correctly. All the laws in our world stem from the physical laws of the spiritual world and are actually their replica, their reflection.

Comment: Even in our world, a baby that is born as a result of an affair is called a bastard…

Answer: It is a very difficult state since from the perspective of the spiritual connection, a bastard child is a person with a defected soul. He is not connected to the right general system and is considered waste, garbage, the slag of society. Therefore he is disparaged by society.

In our day, however, it is one thing in human society, whereas in the spiritual world it requires a very big correction, if it can be corrected at all, in order to bring him back into the general system to be equal to others.
[150182]
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 4/16/14

Related Material:
The Mutation And Correction Of Mutual Human Relations
The Prohibition Of Incest
Two Levels Of Desire: Father And Daughter

Filed under: Man and Woman, Spiritual Work, Torah - 1 Comment →

Question: The “Song of Songs” isn’t just a universal masterpiece but a book that enables us to understand how to establish a new mutual relationship between us and become a society that resembles one family.

The actual story develops quite dramatically. There are sudden concealments, drawing apart and getting closer: she looks for him and he hides, etc. What is going on?

Answer: Love must constantly be cultivated. It cannot exist without a need, without the revelation of separation: “love will cover all transgressions.” We must reveal these transgressions: each one has to allow his partner to further develop love.

Therefore, all of human society, all of nature, and accordingly people are made so that every time the evil inclination is increasingly revealed in us, exposing the flaws in our relationships. Then we can be in the constant dynamic of the filling of love: every time sins appear and then a more reliable concealment.

Question: The author hints: “Follow me, seek me.” What is this game?

Answer: The beauty is the revelation of needs that I cannot fulfill. What is the essence of flirting? I show the one I love what he or she can complement in his or her attitude towards me.

When we play with children we sometimes look at them strictly. Why? So that they will think why this is so and what they should do, whether to get closer or to draw away, to feel pity or to laugh, etc.

By changing our state, we allow our partner to develop and to be incorporated in a tighter mutual cooperation with us. This refers both to children and to adults. By flirting, I allow my beloved to complement our relationship since I discover different states inside me where the relationship of love is lacking.

Question: But they constantly play hide and seek! What should we learn from that?

Answer: We can increase the love by such actions. We can increase it to such an extent that you will see your beloved everywhere! At the end of the story she sees that he fills the whole world!

Question: But in the flirting process they sometimes feel unpleasant states: “By night on my bed I sought him whom my soul loveth; I sought him, but I found him not.” I opened to my beloved, but my beloved had turned away, and was gone. My soul failed me when he spoke. I sought him, but I could not find him; I called him, but he gave me no answer.”

Answer: That’s great! Imagine that you experience such feelings and then you reach an embrace and connection! What great need have you accumulated and how you fill yourself now.
[149258]
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 5/28/14

Related Material:
Feeling Love And Not Oneself
Love: A Brief Flash Or A Fire That Never Goes Out?
The Greatest Pleasure

Filed under: Man and Woman, Spiritual Work - No Comments →

Question: The “Song of Songs” was written by King Solomon, the wisest of men, from his knowledge and awareness of all of nature. Why did he choose the form of a romance between a man and a woman for his story?

Answer: We simply have no other words. Only with a language like this can we describe our good attitude towards someone. What other words can I find if I want to fulfill someone, to connect with him, to hug, to kiss? I yearn to be closer to him, constantly adding and replenishing good. This is what is called love. Love is a general expression of caring for a person.

Question: The love described here is love between a person and whom?

Answer: It is for everyone. It is for all of the reality that I feel outside of me. Previously I looked at reality with a desire to swallow everything, whereas now it is as if I have put on glasses. I acquire a new attitude and look at the environment with a desire to fulfill and complete everything. I want everyone to feel goodness, pleasure, and additional enjoyment in life from me. That is what is called loving.

So at every moment in life, infinite possibilities and opportunities open before us. If I enjoy the pleasure that others have when I give them pleasure, then my life is fulfilled. What a person must think about is: What is the meaning of life? What do I enjoy, who do I give enjoyment to? These questions bring him out to the level of Adam – Man (from the word “Domeh” – similar), for he wants to resemble the totality of nature, which is called the Creator.

Question: King Solomon describes the connection with these words: His left hand would be under my head, and his right hand would embrace me. (Song of Songs 8:3). What is this saying?

Answer: Connection is made through two forces that exist within us, a negative force and a positive force. The negative force, the force from the left, is my unfulfilled desires and foreign needs, a yearning to exploit others. In contrast to this I must complete and fulfill the other through the positive force of bestowal, which is the force from the right. It follows that I hold onto the other through my negative feelings and fulfill and complete him through the positive feelings. Embracing and fulfillment is possible only through both “hands.”

If there were no evil inclination, I wouldn’t be able to feel the other at all. By nature, the still, vegetative, and animate don’t feel others. They only feel themselves: I must devour someone to be satisfied, but if this is good or bad for the victim, I don’t know.

Our evil inclination is built such that we feel when we do something bad to other people. I want to diminish others, to dominate them, to be smarter, more confident, and richer. At least something, but I want to be more: I feel pleasure and satisfaction if others are less than I am.

The ability to feel the other as close to oneself can develop other characteristics in me that lead to the correct use of my nature. It is specifically about this that the words, “His left hand would be under my head” are intended: I hold the other by wanting to understand what he is missing, but with a good relationship towards him already. I use my evil inclination to learn and explore the desires of others, and after that, “and his right hand would embrace me” (embracing him with the right hand).

Question: But if I want to discover and know what he is missing in order to fulfill and complete him, why is this evil? This is good!

Answer: To begin with, the evil inclination arouses and pushes me to check what the other has and to take it from him, to feel pleasure that he has lost it. It doesn’t matter if I have it; the important thing is that he doesn’t. The correction begins with feeling something that the other is missing: I don’t enjoy his not having something, rather that I complete it.
[149060]
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 5/28/13

Related Material:
Earthly Love Is Worthless From The Start
A Person’s Inclination Is Evil From His Youth
The Materialistic Psychology Of Love

Filed under: Education, Man and Woman, Spiritual Work - No Comments →

Question: One of the verses of “The Song of Songs” contains these words: “I am sick of love.” Who is this woman talking about, herself?

Answer: If I relate to nature, to the entire reality with love, I start feeling from it warmth and a loving attitude. It embraces, caresses, protects, and surrounds me with pleasant, good waves that constantly support me.

In this way I talk not from the side of “man,” i.e., an attitude toward nature with love, but from the side of “woman,” receiving the attitude in response. Ultimately, we are talking about a person who feels himself giving and receiving.

He who fills is called a man. He who receives from the other in response is called a woman. It turns out that being in good relations to the world is called a man, and in receiving waves of warmth and love from the world is called a woman.

Question: It doesn’t matter whether I am a man or a woman?

Answer: Of course. We are talking about a person who corrected the evil inclination in himself and acquired the good inclination through group work and integral education.

Now, he is feeling bestowal and reception in relation to the whole of nature and to the entire humanity. This feeling brings him a sense of perfection and raises him above all the disadvantages so that the concepts of time, space, and motion disappear.

Question: What is “I am sick with love?”

Answer: A new sensation captures and fills him to such an extent that he does not feel himself. He feels love that fills him, but not himself receiving this love. He rises to the feeling of general nature, exits himself and he does not exist and is not present.

There is only a feeling of universal love. That is the point of his unity, adhesion, and higher connection with nature, with the Creator. The weakness lies in the fact that love rules.

Question: Why is it a disease?

Answer: When something comes from outside, fills me, and dominates me, this foreign power is called a disease. This is the expression of love that comes and fills me completely.

Question: But it is good to be sick with love?

Answer: True. Only it should be emphasized that there are no boundaries. You are under this foreign power on your own accord and due to the constant work that you perform with great efforts. You have reached this state, but as a result, you are in the power of love.
[149251]
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 5/28/14

Related Material:
A Person Who Is Loved Is Always Beautiful!
Earthly Love Is Worthless From The Start
Sweet Suffering Of Love

Filed under: Education, Inner Work, Love, Man and Woman, Spiritual Work - No Comments →

Question: The holy books often refer to the beauty of a woman, whether to her appearance, her character, her motherhood, etc. But there is no detailed description of a woman’s perfection like in the “Song of Songs.” What does King Solomon want to teach us?

Answer: He wants to say that our reality: the still, vegetative, animate, and human nature is beautiful, good, and perfect and it is only my personal correction which determines whether I will be able to relate to it with absolute love.

It is about our attitude towards nature as a whole and the correction of man: to what extent I have completed and covered my evil inclination with this love. Then I see that there is no flaw in reality and that it is all like a beautiful woman.

We have no other words to express love, including the right kind of love. It is because we understand loving someone only as using that person. It is the kind of love in which I am willing to give and to fill to the extent that I receive pleasure.

Here on the other hand, it is an opposite love: I give and fill another person because I want to do good to him or her. But I need the evil inclination in order to test my attitude towards that person: Do I operate above hate, detachment, and repulsion?

Can I do that? This is how I check whether it is true and real love that stems from the good inclination and not an egoistic love that stems from the evil inclination. This type of love is called independent love. What is it independent of? Of receiving, since it is based on bestowal. Where does the name of the book the “Song of Songs” stem from? In an ordinary song we usually speak about pleasure: “I love you and I want to enjoy you.” In the “Song of Songs.” on the other hand, it means that I want to do good to others.

Question: We see that there are reference to beauty throughout this book. What is expressed by the concept of beauty? Why does the world seem beautiful to a person in love?

Answer: This is called “love will cover all sins.” Have you ever seen how a mother picks up her baby and shows you: “Look how beautiful he is!” She is proud of him and that is perfectly natural. A person who is loved is always beautiful, and therefore we have no standard for beauty.

If I want to fill the other and I enjoy this desire, the more he lacks, the more I can fill and complete him, the more I love him as a result of my concern, and the more beautiful he is in my eyes. Then everything about him becomes beautiful. Parents of adopted children love them no less and sometimes even more than their own biological kids. They try to give them more in order to attain their love, to fill them more, and thus they love them even more.

It says: “love will cover all sins.” Love cannot appear unless there is a dispute that precedes it. There has to be a feeling of detachment, conflict, resistance, and above that there is connection, embrace and love. Then the beauty appears as a result: A person who is loved seems beautiful just like a baby is in his mother’s eyes.

Question: King Solomon says: “One is my dove, my precious.” What is the meaning of the expression “one?”

Answer: There is nothing but that. It is one creation, one perfect system. It is actually thanks to the completion of all the positive and negative attributes existing together that the beauty appears. Beauty is wholeness. The wholeness appears when I see that good and bad things complement one another and cannot exist independently. Goodness cannot exist without evil and evil is the basis for the revelation of goodness.

Now we discover only the evil in this woman, which means in all of creation, since we look at things only from our evil inclination and cannot see anything good. But this is an essential phase since until the “Song of Songs,” a person has to discover all the flaws, all the sins, and only then can he reveal love on top of that.
[149065]
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 5/28/14

Related Material:
Kindling The Spark Of Light
A Person’s Inclination Is Evil From His Youth
There Are No Two Loves That Are Alike

Filed under: Education, Man and Woman, Spiritual Work - No Comments →

Question: (Song of Songs 1:1) In the “Song of Songs, King Solomon is perhaps the most striking  symbol of love. It is enough to look at the list of the works of art that were based upon quotations from the “Song of Songs” to understand the degree of influence of this book on the emotions and imagination of people from the moment it was written until our day. Immediately the question arises, for whom was this wonderful song written?

Answer: It was written for a person who already feels that all of life and all of nature is love, and the general rule, “And you shall love your neighbor as yourself,” is the general force that rules the world. This is speaking about a man who in his development has already attained an understanding and awareness that goodness surrounds him and that all of reality is arranged and built according to the final goal from the start, to attain wholeness.

Wholeness is not acting under the influence of hormones and calling this “love,” such as from my experience of feeling pleasure from something and saying that I love it. For example, I love fish. But we cannot love a fish other than by eating it. If a person understands that he loves with his essence, meaning with the evil inclination, then this is natural, earthly love.

Through this love he destroys the world because he approaches what is good for him and rejects what is bad for him. In this way he doesn’t rise above his egoistic desire. It follows that our love is worthless from the start.

A person must rise to a completely different love: to connection. He must connect with everyone, with the substance of the still, vegetative, animate, and humans above his natural attitudes. If I turn towards the world like this, which is entirely love, then this means that I participate in the general desires and suffering. I feel what is imperative and required for everyone, and want to fulfill and complete this: “And you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

This is what is called “love,” and not the yearning to enjoy the surrounding world and accordingly determine what does and doesn’t please me. I detach myself from this natural love, rise above it, and begin to love everyone because according to the general law of nature I must be connected with everyone. This is attained with the help of a unique education, in the course of which I begin to understand and become aware that everything is connected, interdependent, that there is one fate for everyone, and we guide it.

If I attain a relationship to nature like this, then I see that in fact the force of love is acting in everything. And the “Song of Songs” begins from this: “Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth” (Song of Songs 1:2), meaning that I am already connected with all of nature and begin to investigate how to continue developing my connection of love.

In other words, a “song” from the start raises me to a very high level. I understand that I must fulfill and complete the creation in which we humans exist in opposition: “the imagination of man’s heart is evil from his youth” (Genesis 8:21). This means that instead of exploiting the world that exists outside of me, I must connect with it and complement it in such a form that will be good for it.

This is to say that love is expressed in my wanting things to be good for everyone. That is how we relate to children, we think constantly about what we can add further to our concern about them, fulfilling and creating a good mood. This is the expression of love. I don’t enjoy the object, as generally happens in our life; rather, I enjoy it being good for him. From the moment that I am directed towards this, the story begins.
[149046]
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 5/28/14

Related Material:
There Are No Two Loves That Are Alike
Love that Egoists Are Not Familiar With
Is There Love In This World?

Filed under: Education, Man and Woman, Spiritual Work - No Comments →

In the News (from Psychologies): “Observing for 40 years how a couple communicates with each other, psychologist John Gottman can with a 100% probability predict whether they will be happy together years later or their relationship has no future.

“Happy couples see the positive in each other, something for which they can say ‘thank you,’ hug and just be happy that life has brought him or her with such a wonderful person.

“They purposefully build a relationship of respect and gratitude. Unhappy couples, on the contrary, are looking all the time to find faults with a partner, catching his or her every mistake.

“Future unhappy couples look calm when talking about their relationship, but their heart rates were quick, their sweat glands were active, and their blood flow was fast.

“Couples who maintained a happy marriage years later, from the beginning demonstrated low physiological stress. They felt comfortable and confident, which was expressed in a caring, loving attitude to their partner. Even during an argument they can create an atmosphere of trust, warmth and love for each other.

“The main reason for divorce is disregard for the partner. Those of us who are looking for the slightest excuse to criticize and not become used to responding to partner’s requests with respect, miss 50% of the positive things that are created for them, but see the negative where there is none. They kill love. Anger and indifference mean the death of relationship.

“Compassion is the most important indicator of the stability of marriage, and the more we are practicing it, the stronger it is.

“It’s not about gifts, but how we communicate with each other every day: to actively look for a reason to be grateful for anything during the day, not to focus on the negative, not to think badly about the partner if he or she made a mistake.

“The problem of unhappy couples is often that they cannot be happy for each other. To be together and share the joy, the success of a loved one, is as important as to be close during the time of difficulties.”

My Comment: It is puzzling: Is it only in the 21^st century that we have begun to understand family relationships? And in the past, was this wisdom not known to our ancestors?
[148346]

Related Material:
“Friendship Is The Key To Long-Lasting Love”
Harmony Between A Man And A Woman
If There Is No Shadow, Then There Is No Sun

Filed under: Crisis, Man and Woman, Marriage, Society - No Comments →