Question: If I do not fill my desire to enjoy or I fill it incompletely, I feel suffering. You said that in the desire to bestow, I also feel the deficiency of fulfillment, but this does not arouse suffering in me; rather, it gives a sensation of life. Why do I suffer in the desire to enjoy, but in the desire to bestow, I do not?
Answer: Suppose I love someone. I want to be together with him, to unite with him, to spend time with him since I love him, and everything that we love, we want to draw closer to us. But at the moment, he is far from me, and I only long for him. In any case, however, it is still a pleasant feeling, even though it is called the “suffering of love.” You love and you feel pleasure; love attracts you and fills you. But at the same time, you feel suffering because you have not yet realized your love; you have not yet united with the beloved.
In spirituality, bestowal means love since we give to those whom we love. If I love someone, want to fill him, and fill him, it is called bestowal. But since it’s based on love, bestowal is pleasure.
That is why in spirituality, in bestowal, even if you feel a lack of bestowal and, hence, a lack of fulfillment, which makes you suffer, this is the suffering of love. It is sweet as well since it derives from love and the connection with the beloved.
And since there are no restrictions on bestowal, it means that you will necessarily reach the opportunity to give to the beloved because it only depends on you. And that is why the suffering of love definitely comes to its realization.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/24/10, “Perfection in Life”