Answer: In order to reach the spiritual sensation of evil, you have to do a great deal of work because spiritual evil becomes revealed only after the Machsom. Below it there is no evil inclination. Right now there is no ego in you, just like in a small cockroach!
The evil inclination is the force that openly opposes the Creator; it’s the Pharaoh! It becomes revealed when you want to unite with the Creator and other souls with all your strength, but you discover that in reality this is hateful to you and repels you. Pharaoh stands against the Creator; the evil inclination against the good.
They are both inside you and are revealed only one against the other! There cannot be one without the other.
On the other hand, the fact that you are now experiencing bad sensations while wishing to advance spiritually is not a spiritual realization of evil. There are many people in the world who feel even worse. Maybe it seems to you that this is a spiritual worry because you do not feel the spiritual world and do not understand it, but in fact, all of this is still taking place inside egoism.
Of course, this is no longer the regular egoism of the consumer, but suffering due to your inability to unite with others, repulsion, and unwillingness to even think about this, the lack of desire to correct yourself. For now spirituality seems to you like something attractive for your egoism. This is already a time of preparation for entering the spiritual world, but for now you do not have the right spiritual notions. None of this is spirituality. Spirituality can only be “for” or “against” the Creator Himself, for His good or for my own. But I have to be against Him!
Spirituality is either Pharaoh or the Creator. I am in the middle between them in Klipat Noga where I choose: good or evil, “for” the Creator or “against” Him.
There is nothing more than that! The world we now see around us does not exist in spirituality. This reality is unreal; we live in an imaginary world. The still, vegetative, animate, and human levels in this world actually exist only inside of our egoistic desire.
Why is this world imaginary? It’s because it does not have any connection with the Creator! It lives by a small spark of Light that somehow enlivens it. That is why there is no good or evil here.
The sensation of evil that you feel is only due to a lack of animate, egoistic fulfillment. All of your high thoughts, desires, fantasies, and dreams are the whims of your developed, oversized ego that demands whatever it wants and forces you to suffer.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 12/23/10, “Peace in the World”