Question: In practice we see that in a married couple one manages one process and the second one another. How is equality between husband and wife achieved?

Answer: It is impossible to measure. It is just that everyone wants to please the other. Therefore, there are no calculations here of how much I did for you and how much you did for me. You will never reach a real connection in this way.

You should be guided by feelings and not by rational calculation: “You for me, and I for you.”

Question: Does it mean that until we come to the correction of our qualities in spirituality we will not be able to come to the correct corporeal relationship between husband and wife?

Answer: On the contrary, first, you need to correct your qualities in corporeality and then move to spirituality.
[321064]
From the Daily Kabbalah lesson 11/19/23, Writings of Rabash “Discernments in States“

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Question: Communication should be through feelings, internally, through silence. Why talk? What are words for?

Answer: Words are in order to get in touch in conversation, in order to tune in to each other. Musical instruments also are tuned before they are played together. It is the same here. But in principle, if you know a person, then you can come to him, sit down next to him, and be silent.

Question: In general, can we say that a few words can be spoken in order to be silent?

Answer: Yes. If people know each other, even married couples, they are silent. A woman, however, needs to speak, express, and listen a little more. This is how they are built because they are adapted to looking after small children and so on. But men do not. It is good for men to keep quiet.

Question: So do you see that in the future, maybe the distant future, that the transmission of information will be through silence?

Answer: Sure. This will not be like our TV nowadays.

Question: Will it fall silent as a result?

Answer: I think so.

Question: And what do you say about hermits who move away to be silent?

Answer: There are good periods in a person when he does not want to communicate with anyone except with himself and with the Creator. And he has this communication going on.

These are good states, and they are very strong. They are very thoughtful and generate a lot in a person.
[320504]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 9/21/23

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Igor writes:

Dear Michael Laitman,

I never thought that this would happen to me! I had a misfortune. My closest friend lured my wife away from me! It is a primitive triangle, but I can no longer breathe and live!

You say: “We must accept the situation.” But how? I now understand what hatred is and what despair is when one gives up and tears flow uncontrollably. I am crying for the second time in my life: the first was at my mother’s grave and the second is now. How can I survive this?

Answer: I do not know what to advise a person in this case. I think that you need to think about others and not about yourself. Was she happy with you? Apparently not so much, and that is why she left.

What could happen now? Suppose you force her back or in some fantasy you make her feel bad so that she comes back to you, throws herself at your feet, cries, and all that. I do not think that would reassure you because the very action when she left for someone else is already irreparable.

The best thing, of course, is to change the environment, get married, and start a new family.

Question: That is, let it go? She was a part of me, my “I,” that is why Igor is suffering, and you say: “Let it go”?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: A part of his “I” was cut off and you say…

My Response: This is generally a huge loss and a very strong defeat, of course. Let her go!

Question: Let her go? Do you even say: “Let her be happy there”? And do you think that at that moment he will begin to feel a relief if he comes to this thought?

Answer: I think so. It is very difficult to change your hatred to some kind of love, that you love the person with whom you were maybe even happy, and everything was good. But she did not feel good, and she exchanged you for someone else.

And you make it so that despite the fact that you were happy with her, you raise yourself here and think: “But if she really did not feel good, and now she feels good, can I be happy because she is happy?” Here you have to answer this for yourself.

That is, you must rise above your egoism, above your jealousy, ambition, above all this, and say: “If she is happy, then I am happy.” Otherwise you will not fix it.

Question: You will eat yourself up as a result. Will you feel much worse?

Answer: Yes. And if you find out that she is happy, and you will feel happy because of this, then you resolved this problem.

Comment: This is beautiful! But how hard this is! How difficult!

My Response: It is very hard in feelings.
[318241]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/16/23

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Question: If the Creator gives a man and a woman connection through the heart, then is each one ready to do anything for the other?

Answer: I do not know how ready they are for everything, but if they are coming toward each other to be together and each one does what his partner wants from him, then they form a common desire in which the Creator is revealed.

Question: But the Creator also gives them this desire?

Answer: No, they must create this desire themselves. Each of them has their own desire, so they need to connect with each other to have one desire for both of them in which they do not feel any difference.

This should be such a fusion, a striving for each other when there is nothing else left but a feeling of unity.
[321025]
From the Daily Kabbalah lesson 11/19/23, Writings of Rabash “Discernments in States“

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Comment: Oksana asks “I am Ukrainian, my husband is Russian. We managed to withstand this terrible time. We moved to Georgia, we live here. Everything is fine, and we love each other. But still, I am Ukrainian, and he is Russian. I see that there is no getting away from it. We still have parents and friends there.

How do we build a warm and loving family? How can we talk openly with each other about all the problems and whether it is necessary to open up to each other? My question to you, Michael Laitman: is it possible to love, just love, no matter what? Or will my pain for the relatives and friends who stayed there win over our love?”

My Response: This is a problem. They cannot break away from their roots. What has been done now between Russians and Ukrainians is, of course…

Question: A wall for years?

Answer: Not for years! I do not think years can correct this. It will just have to be corrected by all the people in the world. To destroy absolutely all the partitions that exist between us all. Not just between Ukrainians and Russians, also between others, and so on. It all depends, first of all, on the Jews.

Comment: Here we go again.

My Response: Your reaction, “Here we go again” is the biggest mistake of the Jews, first of all, and all other nations in the world.

It is necessary to make the Jews realize that they make the world’s climate, the weather, and that the correct relationship of all the nations of the world depends on them, on their correct behavior with each other.

Through us, a blessing comes to the nations of the world. We must understand this, recognize it, and realize such connections between us that will create people who are simply loving, showing kindness, love, interconnection, and mutual assistance to each other in all of the world’s population.

If the Jews do this, everyone will be fine, including the Jews. If they do not do this, and we are already late with this correction, then the world will be worsening against them in the first place, and eventually lead them through suffering to the implementation of this project.

Comment: You have taken a personal question that Oksana asked: “Is it possible to love, just love, no matter what?” and spread it to the international level, to the world.

My Response: To the world level, yes. There are no personal questions! What personal questions can there be?

Question: Does it mean that there will be no true love there if there is no correction here?

Answer: Yes. The Creator will lead everyone to realize that the lack of love between people will not allow anyone to feel at least some satisfaction from their existence.

Question: But would it be possible to give some advice to Oksana?

Answer: No! No private advice, such a calm one as “Understand each other” and so on. No, no!

Comment: Melt into him.

My Response: No and no. It will work out, maybe for a short time. If at all!

Question: Is this really a global issue?

Answer: Yes. The Creator heats up the situation all over the world so much that just bring a match and everything will light up.

Question: But you nevertheless bring everything to this condition all the time, right? To the Jews?

Answer: Yes, the ones who do not connect into an absolutely good society will represent what is said in the Bible. There is no escaping this. “All the nations of the world will be blessed by you.”

That is, a loving nation, if they start loving each other within the nation, this will be a blessing for the whole world. Then the whole world will become the same.

Question: Why were we born like this?

Answer: We were born, no one asked us. We are told what we have to do. That is all.

Comment: This generally causes hatred toward us. Even what you say, you are kind of telling the world: “You hate us for a reason.”

My Response: Yes. Sometimes, perhaps, with unconscious hatred.

Comment: But one way or another, you say that it is also impossible to destroy these people.

My Response: They must fulfill their historical purpose.

Question: If I am not a Jew, what is my mission?

Answer: I call on the nations of the world to turn to the Jews and call them, seriously call them, to connect. And from them, through them, the upper force will act on all the nations of the world, and they will connect.

Connection means that we are completely dependent on each other. And outside of us, all the nations of the world should feel this way.

Question: What is complete dependence?

Answer: Complete dependence means that the attitude of all the nations of the world to each other will depend on our attitude to each other.

Comment: That is, if it is love, then it is love. If it is a mutual guarantee, it is a mutual guarantee. And so on.

My Response: Yes. Therefore, even now we see this hatred from our neighbors because we project our internecine hatred on them.

That is, the level of our hatred among ourselves causes such a level of hatred toward us, and in general, of everyone in the world to everyone.
[319349]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 10/9/23

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Question: A sage was asked: “Why, when people quarrel, do they shout even though they are next to each other?” He replied: “When people quarrel, their hearts move away, and they have to shout. But when they fall in love, they speak softly because their hearts are very close. When they fall deeper in love, they whisper. And later, they understand everything without words.”

The question is this: Do we have to go through this stage from shouting to silence through talking, whispering, and silence?

Answer: This is good! If all people were silent but at the same time understood each other, it would be the most wonderful state.

Question: Please explain how it is possible to be silent and understand each other. They say: “Through the heart.” When we say it, it sounds beautiful.

Answer: Through contact, the inner contact of one with another, the contact of hearts.

Question: Do we just sit in silence and understand each other?

Answer: Yes, nothing else is needed.

Question: You said there are no words in spirituality. Is this what you meant?

Answer: Certainly, feelings

without words.

Question: Closeness such that no words are needed?

Answer: Yes, people who have lived together for many years usually understand each other this way.

Question: Can you and your wife sit like this, calmly and silently, and understand each other?

Answer: We understand each other so well that when we meet, it’s enough to look at each other and everything is clear. After all, we have been together for nearly 50 years.

Question: Tell me, please, in regard to this silence, can it be perceived as a conversation, as a prayer? Is prayer better in the heart or spoken in words?

Answer: It is better in the heart. You sit and talk inside yourself.

Question: You don’t read an already written prayer, but just say it? Is such a prayer heard?

Answer: Yes, it is heard.

Question: And with regard to others whom you may be praying for, and above?

Answer: This is exactly how it is taken.

Question: Today we see in our world, in humanity, that everyone is shouting. Even on TV programs. They sit one meter from each other screaming and shouting. What do people, and humanity in general, need to do to at least turn the screaming into a conversation?

Answer: We need the person next to me to take my hand and calmly, in a low voice, even in a whisper, convince me of what he wants.

Question: Should he want something in return from me?

Answer: Yes. He wants to convey something to me. So that his narrative would be exactly in this form, in this way, so it comes from the heart, and so I can open my heart in return, and for everything to flow from one heart to another.

Comment: You are describing a perfect setting when people sit together and want to convey warmth to each other.

My Response: And we, the audience, are watching this TV show, feeling glad the right, normal people are on it today. It is a pleasure to listen to them. Although they say very little, we understand everything.

Comment: You are talking about the ideal state, not quite of this world. I know that you don’t watch much television. But it’s enough to look…

My Response: I definitely don’t watch such programs.

Comment: Yes, there are such shows, like in boxing rings. A fight is going on. No wonder there is a kind of sport now where someone punches someone in the face. It is the same here; they punch you in the face. They probably don’t even care to start a conversation.

My Response: They don’t know how to. They weren’t taught this. They have a completely different attitude.

Question: But humanity won’t achieve anything through shouting anyway?

Answer: No, of course not.

Comment: That is, everyone will prove their case and…

My Response: They don’t prove anything; they don’t hear each other. All that matters is that when another person speaks, I speak too. That is all.

Question: In any case, here is a practical question: how can we transition to a conversation? What do we need?

Answer: Many more years will pass and time will work on us. It will tell both of them or a group of people that it is useless, that it is not worth doing. And they will gradually lose the desire to participate in such talk shows.

Then some turning point will come when they stop making such “circus acts.” Afterward a deep expression of our intentions will follow.

Question: Do you think that such fighting will fade?

Answer: It must.

Question: But how, will it come from above?

Answer: Naturally, from above. No doubt about it.

Question: Do you believe that it won’t come from us?

Answer: No. Nothing good can come from us.

Question: Silent and calm will come from above?

Answer: Yes. Let’s sit and be quiet. This will be the show.

Question: Do they grow disappointed in us? Why would this suddenly happen?

Answer: No one from above is disappointed. Who are we to be disappointed in?

Therefore we will simply come to the kind of television shows conveyed through feelings. Not words but feelings. We have to do something with ourselves.
[317199]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/31/23

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Question: Can birth rates be regulated?

Answer: Birth rates can be controlled with the help of money and housing. If young couples are provided with conditions such as money and living space, then, I think, this can increase the birth rate. But these are huge public expenditures.

Question: You once said that there is a certain global plan in increasing or decreasing the birth rate with the help of which a correction is made. What is the meaning of this process from the point of view of Kabbalah, from the point of view of a common desire?

Answer: Of course, this refers to adopting a certain general plan for the movement of mankind to a certain limit.

But I do not think that we can talk about it now because we are still in an absolutely imperfect state. First, we need to solve a lot of problems, and only then, when we see what a family can be, what a person, children, and so on can be, will we be able to solve questions about the reproduction of generations.
[316610]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah in the modern turbulent world” 8/3/23

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Question: What should I do to make a wish come true?

Answer: First, really, really want it and investigate whether your desire is in contradiction with the general course of humanity.

Second, find such people in your environment who would also like to achieve a state of connection, and rapprochement with each other. This way you will have an understanding of how to advance to the desired result.

Question: At what level of desire is the desire to be loved? And how can you rise above it?

Answer: Every person has a desire to be loved in a more or less expressed form. It is our natural desire that we feel at any age, at any time. The desire for love is the desire for compassion, connection, and feeling the other as yourself. It is inherent in everyone.

Question: Is the desire for mutual love, for whole life, an egoistic desire?

Answer: In general, yes. But can you give the same feeling to another? This is already a question.
[316811]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah in the modern turbulent world” 8/3/23

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In the News (ifstudies): “‘Fewer American High Schoolers Having Sex Than Ever Before’

“Fewer than 40% of American high schoolers have ever had sexual intercourse, a decline of over 15 percentage points since the early 1990s. …

“What this year’s report shows is yet another drop in that activity, consistent with the more or less continuous trend since 1991. Closer examination reveals that most teens are having less sex and delaying sex longer, and that sexually-active teens have fewer lifetime sexual partners.”

Question: This is an interesting phenomenon. Why do you think these basic human desires are decreasing so much?

Answer: On one hand we experienced the peak of sexuality when it was allowed and possible. Young people, boys and girls, even bragged about it to each other.

And now, it has become so common, mundane, that people are simultaneously or in parallel to it looking for some other activities. Therefore, interest in sex is gradually decreasing.

People are looking for some kind of inner satisfaction, which sex unfortunately cannot give. Along with sexual experience and everything else comes frustration and emptiness.
[316570]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah in the modern turbulent world” 8/3/23

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Question: People get together and separate, get together and separate. They do not have the strength to mend their relationships and their connection. It is easier for them to start over.

We know from Kabbalah that the whole of nature, generally speaking, is breakage. We are living in it and we need to correct it. What should people do anyway: try to glue their relationships together or should start over?

Answer: People have to understand that nothing is perfect. On one hand everything in nature consists of revealing contradictions, harmful properties, and so forth. On the other hand, our attitude to that should be very patient and consciously correct.

In any state, we have to see some opportunities for correction. And not only corrections but improvements in our life. However, this will be possible if we relate to this in the correct way.
[316419]
From KabTV’s “Kabbalah in the modern turbulent world” 8/3/23

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