Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

Male And Female, Part 3

laitman_746.01Where Did Male and Female Parts Come From?

Question: All of creation is a desire to enjoy. The desire to enjoy for my own sake is called female part and for the sake of the Creator the male part. What does this mean?

Answer: The female and male parts were not initially manifested in the created being because the created being had to develop.

This is similar to how our universe was created from the smallest particle of energy but energy of the highest class, the highest level. There was enough of it to create everything there is in our space, which we still do not know about yet. It is billions of times bigger than what we might imagine today, with everything that fills it.

It was all born from a small particle of energy that broke through the upper degree to our degree.

This particle included everything in itself: all kinds of positive and negative qualities that later expanded, developed, and become opposite to each other. Yet, all of them came from one point in which these qualities were in a potential state with no difference between them.

Therefore, if we are talking about a man and a woman, then their prototype is such a point, such an image called Adam in whom there were practically neither male nor female parts. They existed in potential and gradually developed from this object.

In our world, this was manifested as a gradual development of the matter of creation: inanimate, vegetative, and animate nature and man.

As it is described in Kabbalah, this occurred through intermediary stages from inanimate to vegetative, from vegetative to animate, and from animate to human, who developed from an ape.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 12/31/18

Related Material:
Male And Female, Part 2
Male And Female, Part 1
Man And Woman — A Magnet Between Them, Part 1

Family And Marriage, Part 8

laitman_560Feel Everyone Close to Yourself

Question: Can we say that the family is needed only so that we learn to give correctly? This is selfish giving, but at least I get some models of correct behavior.

Answer: Yes, there is something like that. At least, the family demonstrates the condition that if a person feels them as close, then I am ready to treat him as myself.

So, the whole problem is to feel everyone close. This is the method of Kabbalah. The upper light creates such an ability in us.

Remark: You said that there are five kinds of desires in us. So it turns out that I see part of my desires outside myself and feel them as strangers, and I see part of my desires as mine and so I naturally care about their fulfillment.

My Comment: The whole world—all I can see are my desires. I see myself inside myself.

Question: But I see part outside myself and part inside?

Answer: Yes. Only those desires that are outside of me are like strangers, but they are the most important for me.

Question: Where is the family in this?

Answer: The family is in the middle, on the border between the “I” and the outside world. It is a transitional link from the awareness of the external world as yourself.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/1/19

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Family And Marriage, Part 7
Family And Marriage, Part 6
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Male And Female, Part 2

laitman_548.02Who Is Adam?

Question: In the beginning, the Creator created a single created being. This created being or program is called “a single desire—Adam HaRishon.” Does it also consist of female and male parts?

Answer: Yes, both parts simultaneously complete each other and are interconnected.

Question: Allegorically, they say that first only the male part was created, Adam, and that the woman was later created from his rib. How do you explain this?

Answer: It is very simple. The Creator is the quality of bestowal. We cannot determine what in fact it really is because it is outside of us. When it is already within us, it is defined as a combination of male and female properties.

Question: What is this created being “Adam“?

Answer: Adam is the ten Sefirot of the desire to receive, with a natural, instinctive intention to bestow. In such a form, he can be called an angel. That is, he is an absolutely ideal quality: very small, in a zero state, which has neither reception nor bestowal.

It is very difficult to decipher this whole story but it is possible. In The Book of Zohar and other Kabbalistic books, it is explained that this is about mutually complementing each other in the receiving and bestowing part when they are practically reduced to zero.

Therefore, Adam, as we call this system, is not a person, not a created being, but a quality which, relatively speaking, includes in himself the positive and negative forces that are interconnected and mutually complement each other. They exist in potential. This power device is called Adam.

Question: We were studying the four phases of direct light. At which phase was Adam created? Does this have something to do with the four phases?

Answer: No. First came the development of the four phases of direct light (Dalet Behinot de Ohr Yashar), then the creation of the worlds: Adam Kadmon, Atzilut, Beria, Yetzira, and Assiya. And only then did the conditions arise for creating the system called Adam.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 12/31/18

Related Material:
Male And Female, Part 1
Adam And Eve
And God Created Woman

Family And Marriage, Part 7

laitman_600.01Go Beyond Your Ego

Remark: You said that a person instinctively experiences first love at the age of 12 or even earlier. Then for the first time one feels love for one’s children. All this in order to feel the model on yourself, how to correctly relate to our neighbor, to all of humanity.

My Comment: Yes. And then to the Creator.

Question: Are these relationships similar?

Answer: Each time they emerge at a different level.

If we are talking about children’s love, or love for children, or love for the family, then this is the natural love that exists in everyone as a bud, one needs to develop it.

If we talk about love for strangers, this goes beyond the framework of our egoism. Our egoism includes some kind of field: “This is mine, and this, and this.” Whatever is mine, I love, attract, and cherish it. I do not cherish anything that goes beyond the scope of my egoism. On the contrary, maybe I don’t need it and I don’t want to see it near me.

So, work on yourself is necessary here. Here I must see what is beyond my egoism. And practically outside of it is the Creator. As I begin to relate to what is beyond my egoism, so I relate to the Creator. Therefore, I must determine my attitude to the Creator and, based on this, relate to everything that is outside of my egoism.

Question: It turns out that if a person has a big ego, then one’s framework is narrowed? He doesn’t even feel family as his own?

Answer: Yes. But this does not mean that one cannot go beyond one’s ego. Maybe, on the contrary, in this way a person is pushed forward, given the recognition of evil.

Our movement forward is based on contraction and expansion: inhalation – exhalation, exhalation – inhalation. Therefore, if a person has great egoism and he does not feel anyone but himself, although, perhaps, he does not realize it, this moves him to deeper attainment of the Creator.

The greatest Kabbalists, before their correction, were very big egoists.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/1/19

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Family And Marriage, Part 6
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Family And Marriage, Part 6

laitman_600.04Time and Love for Children

Question: Do I understand correctly that nature instinctively instilled love for children in us only so that we would learn to treat other people the same way?

Answer: Yes and no. Over time, love for children will change. It is already changing. Today, people relate to children differently than before.

Throughout all generations there has been a draw, caring, and love for children, but all this is changing.

Since our desire, understanding of the world, and method of communicating with the outside world are changing, naturally, the attitude toward children as a part of the world is changing too.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/1/19

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Family And Marriage, Part 5
Family And Marriage, Part 4
Family And Marriage, Part 3

Male And Female, Part 1


Two Forces in the Universe

Question: Kabbalists write that the relationship between genders is the foundation of the entire universe. Are people divided into men and women because there is the Creator and the created beings?

Answer: Yes. Two forces of the universe—the force of bestowal and the force of reception—are manifested in matter in the form of man and woman.

Question: So the force of bestowal is the male essence and the female essence is the force of reception?

Answer: Yes, but purely conditionally. In principle, from the aspect of forces, this is true: the male force gives and the female one receives. However, when it comes to receiving and bestowing, it does not mean that the female force is attuned to the egoistic quality to receive and the male one to the altruistic quality to bestow.

In each person there are both forces: both male and female.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 12/31/18

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“Man” And “Woman” In Kabbalistic Terms
Men And Women Studying Kabbalah
Female Desire And Male Intention

Family And Marriage, Part 5

629.4Family—The Basis of Spiritual Growth of the Masses

Remark: Kabbalah speaks of the importance of the environment, which would support the view that only the revelation of the Creator can be the motivation for creating a family.

My Comment: But this environment should not be the same as in a village, in a country, or in a small town where the public opinion of a poorly educated mass puts pressure on young people and obliges them to start a family and exist this way.

Question: Is this an education process, where from school age, a person should receive an explanation about the difference between masculine and feminine, the purpose of creation, and what is the Creator? If so, this doesn’t seem simple.

Answer: Indeed, all this will need to be explained. It is thanks to this upbringing that we will return to the family again, but in a different form.

We see that we are leaving the state when we need a family. In the past, people at the age of 16 to 18 thought about it and created it; today this isn’t the case.

Question: Is the family, as the basis for the connection between people, the beginning of the path of  a person’s spiritual development?

Answer: A person will grow spiritually mainly from the family. If we are talking about a Kabbalistic group, this is a completely different matter, and if about the masses, then the family is the basis.

Question: Is the family a model where I have a positive attitude toward my spouse and children because it is inherent in me by nature?

Answer: Not only. It will be such a model in which you develop spiritually. In addition, there will be male and female groups in which men and women develop separately where they receive upliftment, inspiration, and spiritual charge, and they realize them in the family among themselves.

Question: In principle, will these two cells remain two types of environment?

Answer: Yes. Male and female groups, man and woman in the family and their children, this will practically be the structure of society.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/1/19

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Family And Marriage, Part 4

laitman_626Different Time—Different Family

Question: On one hand, our constantly developing egoism destroys the family. On the other hand, the destruction of marriage is contrary to the laws of nature. After all, didn’t nature create the family cell as a minimal environment where a person can develop?

Answer: Previously the family was maintained by purely egoistic interests. Today, our nature is destroying it.

Question: From the point of view of Kabbalah, where is everything going?

Answer: To ensure we rise to the next level.

Question: So in the future, will such a cell as the family unit still be preserved?

Answer: Family will be completely different. The main question for it will be: “How do we rise spiritually?”—because for no other reason can I shoulder this overwhelming burden, endure another person next to me, constantly take care of him or her and the children.

I am ready to pay for my “youthful sins” that I “created” a couple of children, but nothing more. However, this is not a family. In order to save the family, I need some higher value than children. No one will live for the sake of children. If today there are still such people, then in one or two generations they will all disappear.

Question: Speaking in Kabbalistic language, without the goal of revealing the Creator, family cannot exist? Will people just have no motivation to live together? In addition, wouldn’t technology be at such a level that the need for family will disappear?

Answer: In all cases, from every side, we will come to the conclusion that a person will have no need for someone else, even physiologically, because we are moving toward unisex, anything and everything, but not to create a family.
From Kab TV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/1/19

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Family And Marriage, Part 3
Family And Marriage, Part 2
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Family And Marriage, Part 3

laitman_624.03What will help save marriage?

Question: Today, the institution of marriage cannot be held together by urges, therefore it is necessary to look for additional goals. What are these goals to sustain a marriage?

Answer: In our time, the religious consecration of marriage cannot hold a family. Not only in a small society, but practically all over the world. Young people do not care what will be thought of them here or there.

As a rule, they are not dependent on their parents, do not live with them, are not in the same society where they themselves were born and raised. In general, young couples are independent of the previous generation and the society in which they were brought up.

They break away completely and create a family on a whole new level. Between them, completely different necessary connections appear. And if there are no such connections, then, as we see, marriage does not exist.

Question: What goals can sustain marriage in the future?

Answer: At least not common children and common property, but something that stands above this. It can only be a goal that is higher than life: I need this person as a husband or wife, with children and with all my way of life because with them I gain the necessary space within which I prepare myself for a higher purpose. There will be no family without this.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/1/19

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Family And Marriage, Part 2
Family And Marriage, Part 1
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Family And Marriage, Part 2

Laitman_504Is Family a Combination of Opposites?

Question: If a family is a combination of two opposites, then in order to create a good family would you need to find someone opposite to you in order to achieve better connection?

Answer: No, not necessarily. It depends on the level we are talking about.

If we are talking about the human, that is, animalistic, bodily level, then there is no need for improvisation. On the contrary, there should be similarity, and the closer, the better.

But if we are talking about development that cannot exist at the animalistic (bodily) level, then, of course, the oppositeness is needed.

From the point of view of Kabbalah, if people want to unite between themselves in a family, they should be as similar as possible to each other in their way of life, language, and everything that is possible.

Question: If we are talking about the family as a nation or all of humanity, then we must be different?

Answer: Yes. If we are talking about bringing everyone together, as they say, into one family, then this is the system of Adam HaRishon.

There already exists more pluralism and mutual remoteness, but at the same time there is agreement that it is necessary to unite over all problems and disagreements as much as the society raises itself.
From KabTV’s “Fundamentals of Kabbalah,” 1/1/19

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