A question I received: Is all of human history just something that appears within me?
My Answer: I perceive reality only here and now. I imagine inside me that there is a history taking place “over time,” that something “was” and “will be”; however, all this is but my own imagination. Did this really happen in the past? It only took place in my consciousness; I perceived it as happening. However, there is nothing outside of me; everything exists only inside my will to enjoy.
History is a process that I imagine taking place over time. But there is no time! There is no movement, and there is no space; we only image them. There is only a “place” called “the will to enjoy,” and around this desire there are records of information called Reshimot passing by, like a reel of film being unraveled and giving me the sensation that I live inside this movie.
Within my desire, all of realty divides into “me” and “the rest of nature,” which includes the inanimate objects, plants, animals, and people. This division into two distant and opposite parts was created in me deliberately, so I would correct my ego by uniting the two parts of my desire together.
One part of my desire hates the other, because one part appears to me as external, such as the people outside me, and the other part appears as internal, myself. This is why I reject others and do things that seemingly benefit myself.
As a result of my studies, I have to understand that the things which appear external to me only seem this way in order for me to overcome this division and correct my desire. I have to change my desire to one of bestowing by ceasing to see the difference between my two desires – the external and internal. Therein lies my salvation, which enables me to come out of my current egoistic state and attain bestowal, thus entering a new reality. By acquiring the intention to bestow, I will feel the spiritual world.
This does not mean that I go through the preparation here and later on I will be “transferred” to another place. Rather, to the degree I reveal love for you instead of hatred, I will begin to feel the spiritual world, the world to come. It is comprised of desires that I attach to myself. So I shouldn’t look for faraway worlds, because it’s all here. Everything lies in the connection between me and those who now seem distant and hateful to me.
Later on I will reveal that I had hated myself and only harmed myself. The more harm I inflicted on others, the more I will have to correct myself later on.