A question I received: I have a very difficult question. I lost my son six years ago, when he was nineteen years old. I still feel terrible pain, but I can’t even talk about it with those close to me. I have to “keep a straight face” in front of everyone, and I let myself cry only when I’m alone, driving. I feel as if I’m holding on to my son, not letting him go where he’s supposed to. Or perhaps it’s he who won’t let go of me? In my mind, I understand that he no longer exists, and that the Almighty entrusted his unique soul to me for a brief period of time, and that I must be thankful. But it doesn’t work this way. I am completely alone in this situation; and I feel that God had abandoned me, like an orphan. How can I find at least some kind of peace?
My Answer: Under no circumstances should a person look back. One should only look straight ahead. Otherwise, you’ll drown in impure thoughts and forces, which are egoistic, and which will only lead you astray from the path. There is no truth in any such thoughts.
A question I received: How can I come to terms with mistakes I made in the past, which I’m only now starting to understand? And how can I continue to move forward without feeling the bitterness of these mistakes?
My Answer: There is no time and no past. You should aspire only ahead, or else you’ll become “a pillar of salt” like Lot’s wife. That is to say, you will stop moving forward.
Lesson on a Letter from Baal HaSulam (Igrot, p.70)