Alexander writes:

I am not married, and I have never really had true friends. A year ago, I started watching your programs and realized why this is happening to me. I demanded too much from others when I should have demanded it from myself. But it seems too late to change now. I meet someone, things seem good, and then suddenly I feel intense irritation and I cannot control myself. I say something harsh or just disappear, avoiding meetings. I cannot overcome myself. And it all ends. I have been to psychologists, even to a psychiatrist and a fortune-teller, but it keeps repeating. I do not know what to do.”

Question: What advice can you give him?

Answer: The only advice one can give is to find a group that would support and involve him in connection between them, between all the group members and with the Creator. He should see examples of connection between people and how they rise toward connection with the Creator, and this will set him on the right path.

Comment: You are already moving toward connection with the Creator, such a group that seeks connection with the Creator.

My Response: Absolutely, yes. He must understand that this is exactly what he needs.

Comment: That is, at the level of our world: make friends here, be together here, and here…

My Response: No, that is no longer relevant.

Comment: To live normally, to meet someone, to finally get married.

My Response: Let him connect with those who are given to him from above and realize the correct connection.

Comment: So you are saying his connection should be with those who want to rise to the degree of the Creator, to rise above this world, and not with those who want to settle in this world.

My Response: Exactly.

Question: Will all this continue to expand further? Should we specifically seek such groups? There are sciences in this world, psychology…

Answer: We have to finish up everything in this world. Complete as much as possible and leave nothing for later.

To complete in this world means striving for connection between us and with the Creator and for all this to come into its correct form.
[328980]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/8/24

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Question: Why is there such a complex system in our spiritual work: men’s tens, women’s tens, and a lot of different books that need to be studied?

Answer: This is only necessary in order to correct the heart.

We need so many books and courses because we are too entangled in ourselves.
[328526]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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Question: Is it necessary for everyone to dine together in the family?

Answer: No, it is not necessary. Usually, the wife and children eat separately and the husband eats separately. But once a week on Shabbat, they all dine together.

We are naturally designed in such a way that the wife is the home, and the husband works and earns. This comes from spiritual roots. We did not invent this, and it is not for us to change it. We just have to continue on this path.

Question: Why does this seem primitive to many people today?

Answer: I do not think it is primitive. I believe it preserves the family when the mother cooks for everyone, and if the daughters are already grown up, they help her, and everyone sits at the same table and dines together. This strengthens the family.

Question: But still, if I now tell myself that your place is in the kitchen, that is your job: both spiritually and physically, it is like… There are days when I spend most of my time at home doing household chores, but at some point, I feel that it dulls me. Are these some new qualities in women?

Answer: Perhaps. But the most important thing is simply to understand how we can be closer to each other. And the meal is certainly a very important, shared property. After all, while preparing it, we think about each other: what he likes, what I like, and how we can enjoy the prepared food together. It is a whole process.

Comment: When I cook for the family, I really love listening to your lessons. If I do not turn on a lesson, I feel like something is missing. Then I turn it on, and it feels completely different.

Answer: Correct, spiritual nourishment goes along with regular food.
[328295]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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In a family of Kabbalists, the wife fills her husband not only with food calories but also with her desires, and he must fill her with his spiritual work.

Desire is transmitted through food. Rabash was amazingly developed: he could tell by the food what was happening in the family.

Question: Can a woman tie a man to her by what she cooks for him?

Answer: Of course. It is not in vain that it is said that the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.

Question: And what is the way to a woman’s heart?

Answer: Only through one’s attitude. Nothing else. Show her love and affection. Spouses should not just exist in the same area but should be connected spiritually and physically.
[328285]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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Rabash writes in the article “Partnership” that a man must work. Just as he used to go hunting animals, today he goes to earn money and brings his earnings home.

Question: Is it in the nature of men to work hard or do they like to earn and bring money to the family?

Answer: It depends on the wife: how she sets him up, how she sees him off, and how she greets him once he is back. This is very important and can even affect earnings.
[328394]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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It is like a partnership, where if each one does his job, everyone is happy, as it is written, “which God has created to do,” for there is nothing without labor.

Hence, the husband toils and brings money, and his wife takes the money and toils with it, buying groceries and cooking, and seeing that the food is tasty, and then both are happy.

If the woman cooks well, her husband will have good appetite and will then have strength to go to work and bring in money.

Likewise, if the feet walk and the hands buy and give the food to the brain, the brain has the strength to think (Rabash, Notes 503, Partnership).

That is a simple and very correct explanation of marital relationships. The partnership starts from the beginning, from the basics of our lives, and extends to high and lofty matters.

If a married couple wants to reach a higher quality of connection between them, it will lead them to spiritual work.

Question: Do they need to have in mind that they are striving for something more spiritual?

Answer: Of course, certainly! They must coordinate this with each other and understand that they may need to sacrifice something to reach a spiritual goal. Then they will attain a higher connection than the ordinary connection between husband and wife.

To have a spiritual connection, they must understand what they can achieve with its help, whether they are ready for it, and where it will lead them.

Comment: It sounds like some serious sacrifices are required here.

My Response: It does not require sacrifices, but it does require effort.
[328179]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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In his article “Partnership,” Rabash writes about an ideal relationship where the husband works and brings home money and the wife’s work is to cook tasty meals, and everyone is happy.

That is a simple life example of correct relations. The husband brings earnings, which is his task, and the wife assures everyone is satisfied. That is the way it should be in every family.

Of course, we understand that Rabash lived in the previous century when a woman stayed home with children and pots and pans. She had enough work around the house. Nothing was closed for her, but she was not obligated to develop.

Through her labor and attachment to her man, she received from him whatever he had without making any mental effort. She received it only through her mere attachment and exertion of caring for her family.

Question: Does it mean that development does not depend on mental efforts?

Answer: No, at least for women that is true.
[328214]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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Likewise, if the feet walk and the hands buy and give the food to the brain, the brain has the strength to think (Rabash, Notes 503, “Partnership“).

Just as the body with all its organs depends on the command from the brain, so in a family, the husband and wife complement each other, create a family, and everything else moves according to their mutual work.

Question: Who in the family is the brain, who are the hands, and who are the legs?

Answer: In the family, the woman does more work. And the husband brings her his salary.

Question: What kind of spiritual salary could a husband have?

Answer: The spiritual salary is what they create as a family; they give birth to children, raise them, and build a home. In general, everything they do, they share between them. To the extent that a woman desires to know what her husband studies, she gradually learns.

Question: And is this related to everyday life, to simple things?

Answer: Precisely to simple things in everyday life. If the wife does everything necessary for the husband so that he has food, health, and strength for work and study, then, from that she receives her share, not only in preparing and maintaining the home, but also somehow belonging to spiritual attributes.
[328266]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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Question: Why, if women did not work and only cared for the house before, should they study in our time?

Answer: It is an entirely different time now. Over the past hundred years almost all women acquire a specialty, go to work, and, together with their husbands, provide for their families.

Question: Speaking of your students, can women advance spiritually simply by serving their husbands, your students, without studying themselves?

Answer: Without a doubt.

Question: Is it so simple?

Answer: It is complex. Suppose a woman is attached to her man and does everything he needs for life, and they live together and provide for each other spiritually and materially. In that case, the woman receives some of his spiritual baggage. In this union, they are partners.
[328241]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 4/2/24

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Comment: It is interesting that in Japan, instead of “I love you,” they sometimes say, “You are my silence.”

My Response: Beautiful

Question: How would you comment on that?

Answer: It is clear that they appreciate silence, and that is why they say it that way.

Question: Do you also appreciate silence?

Answer: Yes.

Question: To sit like this and be silent, is that it?

Answer: I can be in silence for eternity.

Question: There are a lot of comments on your videos that it is better to remain silent. Silence is golden, as it is said. And so people ask, “When to keep silent, when to speak?”

Answer: Always keep silent!

Question: But before that, we agree that we will remain silent?

Answer: There is no need to agree, just react that way.

Question: And is this how this chain will continue, you start and then?

Answer: Yes, and everyone will gradually understand that.

Question: Will the state that it is good to be silent come?

Answer: Yes, silence is loud and filled with a great amount of information.

Question: And is that why there is no need for unnecessary information?

Answer: There is no need for unnecessary movement or words.

Question: But what about the good words we express?

Answer: It is all empty.

Question: What about saying “I love you,” for example?

Answer: That is because a woman wants it.

Question: And can the same thing be said silently?

Answer: I would not say anything, but say it if necessary.

Question: “They love with their ears,” they say. Is this correct in your opinion?

Answer: Of course.

Question: So should it be said to a woman?

Answer: Yes.
[328244]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/1/24

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