If he does not appease her, he will not stay the night with her because their desire must be as one, without coercion (Zohar for All, Beresheet – 2, “Reconciliation and Receiving Permission”).

Comment: When a married couple has already formed, many people believe that they live together, have a common way of life, joint affairs, and agree that their relationship seems to fade away, becomes forgotten.

My Response: No, it should not be that way, because that is how all relationships end. That is why it is said: “If he does not appease her, he will not stay the night with her.”

Question: Why is it said: “Stay the night with her”?

Answer: First, it has always been customary that in the house a woman has her own section, while the husband, children, and male relatives have the other section. For example, all the men go to dine in the women’s section and then return to their own section to sleep.

Question: Is this a kind of spiritual law? What is it based on?

Answer: It is based on our nature. First, you must go to your wife and please her with whatever you can: give her a gift or at least a bouquet of flowers. Then she shows you her favor by coming to you.

Question: Why can’t we always be in the same space?

Answer: No, that is not good because you cannot be together all the time. Negligence and other negative feelings start to creep in. On the contrary, this distance helps to maintain a spiritual relationship.

Question: Why has humanity rejected this spiritual law of dividing the home into male and female sections?

Answer: We live, as in the song by Vysotsky, “There is only one bathroom for 38 rooms.” Our way of life has kind of canceled it. But there should be a house divided into two sections so that the woman understands that this is hers. And the man might only have a folding bed in his section, and that is enough for him.

Question: How can we achieve that kind of distance like 300 years ago in our time? Can it be maintained today to improve relationships?

Answer: I think so. It is good when the husband and wife each have something separate, and there are hours when they spend time together. Then, perhaps, they will value the time spent together more.
[332889]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 7/30/24

Related Material:
“Why are most of the families falling apart at present?” (Quora)
What Will Happen If All Women Return Home From The Workforce
“Family Day—A Chance To Rethink The Meaning Of Family”

Filed under: Man and Woman - No Comments →

Question: How can one become righteous in the family?

Answer: Make an agreement with your wife, and she will turn you into a righteous. I am speaking quite seriously. If the wife wants to, she will systematically influence her husband in every matter, in every action, and he will involuntarily correct himself.

Question: We learn that everyone goes through ascents and descents. Presumably, a woman does too. She may not always be able to influence her husband. What should be done during these moments of decline?

Answer: Of course, mutual effort is necessary here as both want to make their family correct and righteous so that their children become the same.

Therefore, go ahead and act, and you will succeed.
[329962]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

Related Material:
How to Become Righteous
There Is A Woman Behind Every Successful Man
A Man And A Woman – Mutual Completion

Filed under: Man and Woman, Women's Spirituality - No Comments →

Question: The Midrash Rabbah says: “She went and married a wicked man, and she turned him righteous.” Why can a woman make one righteous and another wicked?

Answer: This is not really a question for me. The point is that in the end, everything depends on the woman. If she wants, she will control her husband in such a way that he will become a righteous man.

Question: Does the woman decide for herself, or does the Creator direct her this way?

Answer: We do not know that. It is not important. The main thing is that the husband sees her instructions.

Question: What if he does not see her instructions?

Answer: This means that she does not act, does not put pressure on him. Every woman can influence her man. We believe that the man is the leader in the family, that he is in charge of everything, but this is only how it seems to us.

This can be compared to a very beautiful car the appearance of which everyone admires but no one looks at the engine inside. A woman is such an engine

Question: Can a man somehow influence a woman if he also wants to become a righteous person or if they want this together?

Answer: If they want it together, then maybe. There are many different tricks here. But basically, this is the prerogative of women.

Question: So you need to adapt to “her voice”?

Answer: You cannot say that you need to adapt. That is just how life works. But if they both decided to become righteous, then mutual work certainly takes place between them.
[329876]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

Related Material:
A Lot Depends on Woman
We Can Only Rely On Women
The Power of Female Desires

Filed under: Man and Woman, Women's Spirituality - No Comments →

And they had no sons. He said, “We do not bring any benefit to the Creator” (Midrash Rabbah, Bereshit 17).

Question: Is it possible that if there are no sons, then we do not benefit the Creator? For example, there are two daughters in our family. Why are daughters of no use to the Creator?

Answer: They are, but not completely. You are not considered to have fulfilled the commandment “be fruitful and multiply.” But you are still young, so go ahead!

Question: Still, I want to understand what the sons bring that pleases the Creator?

Answer: According to Kabbalah, a son means a special quality, power, and a daughter is something accompanying, less important than a son.
[329788]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

Related Material:
“He Had No Sons, But Daughters”
“If A Man Has A Wayward And Rebellious Son ”
Harmonious Complement

Filed under: Children, Education, Man and Woman - No Comments →

It happened once that there was a certain pious man who was married to a pious woman, and they did not produce offspring together. They said: We are of no use to the Holy One blessed be He [if we remain childless]. They arose and divorced each other.

He went and married a wicked woman, and she turned him wicked. She went and married a wicked man, and she turned him righteous. Thus, everything comes from the woman (Midrash Rabbah, Bereshit Rabbah, 17).

Comment: We are talking about many disagreements here.

My Response: There are no disagreements. It all depends on the woman! With a good wife, the husband will be righteous and with a bad one, he will be wicked.

Question: What is the meaning of the term good wife?

Answer: One who obeys her husband.

Question: Then what should the husband know to correctly instruct her? After all, husbands can be different too.

Answer: Of course, it is not that simple. But, in general, much depends on the wife. She can turn a wicked husband into a righteous one and a righteous husband into wicked.

Question: What is meant by wicked? What does this mean?

Answer: It means that he sins against the Creator; he does not believe, does not pray, does not follow the commandments, and leads an immoral life.

A righteous man is one whose behavior is righteous. He follows the Creator’s commandments and loves his wife.
[329658]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

Related Material:
There Is A Woman Behind Every Successful Man
Why Does A Man Need A Woman?
A Man And A Woman – Mutual Completion

Filed under: Man and Woman - No Comments →

Question: If women can influence men with their inner voice, if they are so omnipotent, why don’t they exert their influence to somehow ease the world’s suffering?

Answer: This is a common problem for both men and women. But if women wanted to, they could certainly change the world. They would turn their husbands around so much that they would inevitably become righteous and make the world different.

Question: But will this ever happen? What does it depend on? What is missing?

Answer: It depends on men and the Creator. We men need to ask urgently and constantly act in this direction.

A woman can also act. It is much easier for her to do this because she can ask through her husband.
[329926]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

Related Material:
We Can Only Rely On Women
The Last Generation—The Time Of Women
Adam And Eve

Filed under: Man and Woman, Women's Spirituality - No Comments →

He went and married a sinner (Midrash Rabbah, Bereshit 17)

Question: Can a man know in advance whether a woman is a sinner or a righteous?

Answer: In general, yes. A man may know whether a woman is idle or not. Perhaps she is engaged in some unclean activities, and so on. When choosing a woman, one must look at how righteous she is.

Question: If we act this way, does it mean all sinners will remain lonely?

Answer: A few women will remain single, and the rest will follow the example of the righteous.
[329835]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

Related Material:
What Is the Most Important Thing in Marriage?
“It Is Not Good to Be Alone”
Men Need Support

Filed under: Man and Woman - No Comments →

From a Viewer:

I have a wonderful baby girl. But she was born sick. My husband left us. And I am happy. Is this normal? I am asking because you keep saying that the child needs a father. And I do not want to look for any father for my Sveta yet.

My Response: Don’t, the daughter does not have to have a father.

Comment: Yes? This is news, actually.

My Response: No, that is how she lives; the daughter is with her mother and that is it.

Question: The fact that the father left when the sick child was born was, of course, a blow for the mother. And she does not want to start a family anymore. So she can go on like this?

Answer: Yes, she can.

Question: Two women live. Is there some kind of root in this—that a boy needs a father but a girl does not?
Answer: A boy will one day be attracted to his father, to an adult man, but a girl will not.

Question: But they say: “Our female destiny” means that we have some kind of divorces all the time in the female part. Will that not be a sequel?

Answer: No.

Question: Will mom not tell her that it is good to be alone?

Answer: I think she will not. What the girl lacks now with her father, maybe she will feel later when she starts dating guys; then she will correct this lack of communication.

Question: In general when a girl meets a guy, who does she want to see in him? Should he look like her father? Or does the girl have something else? You once said that when a man meets a woman, or a guy meets a girl, he looks for his mother in her.

Answer: That is for sure.

Question: And when a girl meets a guy, what is she looking for in him?

Answer: It is more complicated. Maybe she is thinking about her grandfather.

Question: So if she has not seen her father, let’s say, she remembers the man in her life that she wants her husband to look like?

Answer: Yes.
[329519]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/1/24

Related Material:
This Powerful Word—Father!
How To Become A Good Father?
The Proper Education For A Person

Filed under: Children, Education, Man and Woman, News, Q&A - No Comments →

Question: Who is more sensitive to fulfilling the Creator’s will, a woman or a man, a wife or a husband?

Answer: In general, a woman. Therefore, it says that a lot depends on her because she can convince her husband to act one way or the other. She is more sensitive to the “voice” of the Creator than a man. She was created this way by nature.

She feels more dependent both on her husband and on the Creator. She has an inner sense of faith that the Creator guides her.
[329693]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

Related Material:
Particular Characteristics Of A Woman’s Nature
The Power Of Women’s Support
There Is A Woman Behind Every Successful Man

Filed under: Man and Woman - No Comments →

Question: Midrash Rabba (The Great Commentary) says: “A pious man, a pious woman.” What exactly is meant by the term piety?

Answer: Piety is obedience to the Creator, the aspiration to fulfill His desire, that is, His commandments.

Question: There are so many disagreements about what the Creator commands. What is His primary commandment? Can His desire be expressed in some way?

Answer: The Creator desires a husband and wife to fulfill His commandments and continually check themselves against them. The primary commandment of the Creator is to love your neighbor as yourself.

Question: It turns out that in a couple, the closest people to each other are the husband and wife. Should they start fulfilling the commandment “love your neighbor” with their relationship to each other?

Answer: In general, yes.

Question: If I learn to love my husband as myself, will it be easier for me to treat other people the same way?

Answer: You will be righteous.
[329726]
From KabTV’s “Man and Women” 5/14/24

Related Material:
There Is A Woman Behind Every Successful Man
A Man And A Woman – Mutual Completion
Man And Woman: Unity Of Opposites

Filed under: Man and Woman - No Comments →