Question: Along the spiritual path discover the evil of the ego, and yet, it is also pleasant since I aspire for something else.

Answer: If I enjoy the pain, even if it also connects me to the Creator, it is impurity, called a Klipa (shell) that protects the fruit until it ripens. It protects me so that I still will keep the connection with the Creator, but it isn’t the right state yet. After all, the sweetness in this pain is a sure revelation of the Creator. I feel that the pain comes from Him since otherwise, He cannot draw my attention. If I agree with this egoistic sweetness and enjoy it, it means that I am in impurity.

The question is to what degree can I bear the pain in the current state and at the same time, understand that it is essential in order to keep the connection with the Creator. How can I not fall into pleasure through this pain? How can I stop the moment I am in contact with it and immediately get on the right track?

After all, I am drawn to the sweetness. I descend and succumb to the deviousness of the ego, which lures me like a snake by the sweetness of this purposeful pain. Different religions and faiths based on the suffering of the righteous stem from this.

Question: How can I focus the process on the right path?

Answer: I ask the Creator who is Good and Benevolent for help. He wants me to feel good in the connection with Him and that the good will lead me to Him, but how can I do that?

If I feel emptiness, threats, troubles, and darkness in my egoistic desire, then, as a result of my hopelessness, my desire to receive looks for the source of evil, even if it is the Creator. It remembers some preliminary higher cause from which everything stems.

However, what should I do if I enjoy, if my desire is full, if I feel that the entire world is at my feet? My life is just fine, and I am fully satisfied, and nothing or no one threatens me. I have endless bars of gold in my warehouse. I am healthy, full of energy, and I have something into which to invest them.

At the same time, all this hides the Creator from me and bars any thought about Him. If the pain and emptiness push me toward Him, then the pleasure keeps me away from Him.

The question is, how do I prefer to advance: by the path of pain or by the path of pleasure? After all, in this state, the hard way is the way of pleasure that “encloses” me and eliminates all the options. How can I think about the upper force when I lack nothing in life?

It turns out that the path of “I shall hasten it” is not simple at all as compared to the path of “in its time.” When I advance according to schedule, my powers are enough. The suffering, the emptiness of the egoistic desire, pushes me to the Creator. At the same time, only along the path of “I shall hasten it” do we have free will.

If I want to hasten my advancement when I feel good, I need a group. My private desire is “fattened up” and “heavy,” and so I simply need the friends, additional external desires. Only by the connection with them can I advance.

The more I advance toward the end of correction, the more external desires I need. My inner desires are filled, and they immediately throw me off-track.

Question: When is the Creator revealed this way?

Answer: It is when you want to restrict Him, in other words, when you stop wanting Him and instead, want to bestow upon Him. After all, when you ask for His revelation, you want to discover the attribute of bestowal, real bestowal and not like “commercial” one when you give something in order to get something in return. This is bestowal in order to receive. On the other hand, when you begin to at least bestow in order to bestow, even not to receive in order to bestow, you begin to come to know the Creator’s attributes. Later, when you receive in order to bestow, you already begin to locate the attributes of the Creator within you, to identify them within you, and to attain Him.
[106522]
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/2/13, “The Mutual Guarantee”

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Baal HaSulam, from “The Arvut (Mutual Guarantee)”: If a handful from Israel betray and return to the filth of self-love, without consideration of their friends, that same amount of need that is put in the hands of those few would burden Israel with the need to provide for it themselves.

This is because those few will not pity them at all; hence, the fulfillment of the commandment of loving one’s friend will be prevented from the whole of Israel.

This is talking about an incontestable mutual guarantee, about group responsibility that links everyone into one whole so strongly and tightly that the life and death of everyone depends on this. If one of them were to violate the Arvut, all would be sentenced to death. This is already something  greater than the usual interdependence.

Therefore, everyone in a group needs to understand that this is a condition that cannot be changed. The issue here is not the faces of the friends, not their nature or their habits. To me, none of this matters. The main thing is: Am I creating with them a system of mutual guarantee like this or am I not?

Along with this, none of us know what is going on with the others. It is as if each is responsible for his plug sealing a hole in the shared boat. However, no one sees this. No one even feels what he himself is doing. When I take out my plug, I don’t notice that our ship is sinking.

We work in conditions of complete concealment, and we need to demonstrate responsibility, to yearn for adherence and unity; we need to remember that we depend on the upper one. Only He will unite and protect us.

Efforts on the way will help us understand what else we are missing.

Thus, these rebels cause those who keep the Torah to remain in their filth of self-love, for they will not be able to engage in the commandment, “Love thy friend as thyself,” and complete their love for others without their help.

I need to reach a state where I require the Torah, the method, to be united with the friends. This is my goal, and I am concerned only about that. Unity with friends is the supreme value in my eyes, and in order not to harm them, not to betray them, I require the help of the Creator, of the Torah.

I am dedicated completely to the group and fear only one thing: harming the friends. So, I ask the Creator: “Help prevent me from causing harm. This is all that I need from you, nothing else.”

Meanwhile, I am not thinking about how to satisfy Him. That level is still far from me. Being concerned about it now would be like not being concerned at all. What is waiting for me now is not love for the Creator, but love for people, love for the friends.

However, I am not ready to love like this. I only hate them, am jealous of them, reject them, or at the very least, don’t care about them. I forget about them all the time. So, I ask for strength from Above to be devoted to my friends, to be responsible for them, and to do everything that depends on me only so that I will be incorporated wholeheartedly in a group.

So, nothing will remain of me at all other than this intense concern that fills all my thoughts and feelings.

This is all that I ask from Above when I know that I cannot maintain this kind of devotion by myself. This is all I expect when I rely on help that will come and not leave me so that I will be able to protect my friends.

This is the first level that we need to attain, and if I truly want this, I merit receiving the Torah. You see in a case like this that I really need the Light that Reforms that will unite my vessels, my shattered desires, that will correct my soul, transforming it into a boat for everyone. In it, I will hold and protect my friends, making sure that nothing bad will happen to them.
[106731]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/5/13, “The Mutual Guarantee”

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Baal HaSulam, “The Arvut (Mutual Guarantee)”: And you evidently find that the giving of the Torah had to be delayed until they came out of Egypt and became a nation of their own, so that all their needs were provided for by themselves, without dependence on others. This qualified them to receive the above Arvut, and then they were given the Torah.

I need a big desire to receive called “Egypt,” and I need to make an internal decision. I don’t have the strength to actualize this, but I have the strength to clarify and to conclude that I want to leave this Egypt, that I must rise above it.

In a way, I already feel that it is possible for me to get help from Above. Through my clarification, I understand that spiritual advancement is none other than a mutual integration between everyone into one vessel and its correction by the Light.

I require this Light. I agree to do everything that depends on me. I understand the urgency, necessity, and feasibility of what is happening and require only Light.

In such a circumstance, I am ready to receive the Torah, meaning the method of correction. I have all that is required for this need: a vessel of the proper size, deficiencies, necessities, awareness of the imperative of correction, connection, and also an inner struggle with myself for or against connection.

I already understand and feel all this, I agree with the spiritual way and want it. I lack only the Light that Reforms. I am ready to work with all these components that are found in me to obligate the influence of the Light that Reforms.

So, I reach a tipping point: From my side, I have attained all that has been required for a first contact, and I finally contact the upper Light.

It is important to remember here that the Creator is not the one who accepts a decision to give me the Light that Reforms. Rather, it is I myself who establishes this. Therefore, one shouldn’t expect any kindness and mercy from Above, as it is written: “A fool folds his hands, and sits and eats his own flesh.” Nothing just comes from Above—it is specifically I who opens all the doors.

Even though we talk about mutual relationships between a person and the upper one, it is actually I who construct the upper one. The upper Light is at absolute rest. Everything depends solely and only on my vessel, on my desire. If I am ready to open the valve, the faucet, then the upper Light arrives and performs the required action.

Everything depends on the person, on his efforts with the primary sources, with the teacher, with the group, with dissemination. Everything begins from below. If I have enough of a strong and correct desire below, then He will open the gates and activate all the spiritual forces from Above. A foundation of everything is the preparation by the lower one.
[106734]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/5/13, “The Mutual Guarantee”

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Our only hope is to use the Light that Reforms that brings us faith, the Light of Hassadim, and the Torah, the Light of Hochma, into our corrected vessels.

Our role is to tie ourselves constantly to the Creator, that is, to His attributes. It is as if we want to hide in Him, like in a state of the embryo (Ubar), or to resemble Him, like in a state of smallness (Katnut), or to be His partners, like in the state of greatness (Gadlut). We want to merge with Him to such an extent that we will be able to perform all the actions with Him, not before or after Him, but together, by acquiring from Him all the attributes of bestowal and love of others.

Everything is attained by the Light that Reforms on the way to one whole connection: Israel, the Torah, and the Creator are one. The Creator is the attribute of bestowal and love. The Light that we can receive from Him is our connection to Him. Thus, we advance until we reach unity. However, all this is attained by self-annulment, by the dressing in the Light of Hassadim and then by the dressing in the Light of Hochma.

On the way, we attain faith, the light of Hassadim, the desires to bestow, the state of smallness. Then, we come to complete faith, the dressing of the Light of Hochma into Hassadim, the state of greatness. This action is fulfilled by adhesion to the environment that provides me with an example of the Creator. Instead of working with Him, I work with the environment, which is the same thing. It is because I don’t feel that anything enters my desire to receive, and so I don’t feel others nor the Creator. This is why it is said, “from the love of the created beings to the love of the Creator,” which is the only way we can advance.

Otherwise, I will always go wrong and lie to myself that I am a complete righteous. This is why the actions of different organizations and people in this world show who is motivated by love of others and for whom it is most precious because it stems from the purpose of creation. This is the criterion by which we can identify those who are close to us, but in the meantime, I have not identified anyone.
[106588]
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/30/13

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Baal HaSulam, “The Arvut (Mutual Guarantee)”: On the positive side, if they keep the Arvut until each cares and satisfies the needs of his friends, they can fully keep the Torah and commandments, meaning bring contentment to their Maker.

The relations with the Creator are established in a collective vessel under the influence of the general Light. The general form of bestowal that is revealed to us is the Creator. Therefore, as it is written: “Israel, the Torah, and the Creator are one.”

But for now, we have to regard the Creator as a means and not as the goal. Our goal should be the connection in the group and mutual guarantee. If I define mutual guarantee as the unchanging goal and that there is nothing more sublime than that, I must pull all the forces together, and the Creator serves me in that.

By demanding the Light that Reforms, we actually want the Creator to serve us and to correct us. This is the reason that we draw it, and there is nothing to be ashamed of. Eventually, it is about this state that it is written: “My sons have defeated me.” Our approach here should be very practical and efficient.

So, we form a collective vessel and then develop our attitude toward the Creator, begin to understand who and what He is and what is concealed behind this concept.

Everything is attained in the vessels (desires), in the desires, and not by abstract thoughts that have nothing to do with understanding the Creator. We haven’t yet come close to Him but we already are trying to imagine Him and, through that, we create an idol….
[106728]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/5/13, “The Mutual Guarantee”

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Question: What is meant by “the embryo eats what his mother eats”?

Answer: The embryo agrees with whatever he is given and accepts everything as the best thing possible, although it is totally repugnant to his ego. He annuls his ego and although he does feel the influence he receives, he receives passively, without checking things out, that is, “above reason,” and values everything that he is given as the most beneficial and healthy for his development.

We all know that the most nutritious food is always the least tasty food. There is tasty food, and there is nutritious food, and these are two different things. However, since it is healthy for attaining the goal and the goal is very important for a person, he accepts the food that disgusts his ego by attributing great importance to this nourishment.

This is what happens on the degrees of Ibur (conception) and Yenika (sucking). In the state of greatness, the opposite happens: A person begins to feel great pleasure in bestowal. Then, he has to work against this so as not to receive this pleasure for himself. This is called “to receive in order to bestow,” when he sees that the Creator is indeed good and benevolent. He doesn’t restrict himself anymore or annul himself like in the states of Ibur or smallness.

However, if the embryo criticizes the food that the upper one gives him and doesn’t accept it as good, then a “miscarriage” occurs, a fall from the degree of Ibur.
[106716]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/2/13, Writings of Rabash

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Question: How should our global group unite and make an effort in order to avoid the state of “spiritual miscarriage”?

Answer: If we connect as one global group, then everyone experiences everything that one of its members, or the entire group, goes through. Therefore, we are incorporated in one another and go through all these states quickly. In terms of speed, such a development of many groups together differs qualitatively from the development of one group, not to mention a single individual.

Although the changes seem to be indirect, they are included in everyone and serve as preparation for us. So suddenly, I have thoughts and feelings that others already have experienced and thus, they evoke new states within me.

It’s similar to how in our world we learn from one another: A child born in the 21^st century uses the experience of all the generations that preceded him. So, it is very beneficial and worthwhile to be connected as strongly and as closely as we can since it shortens the way significantly. Today, nature simply demands this.
[106713]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/2/13, Writings of Rabash

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The Torah, “Exodus, Jethro,” 19:16 – 19:19: And it came to pass on the third day, in the morning, that there were thunders and lightnings and a thick cloud upon the mount, and sound of a shofar exceedingly loud; so that all the people who were in the camp trembled.

And Moses brought forth the people out of the camp to meet God; and they stood at the lower part of the mount.

And Mount Sinai was altogether in smoke, because the LORD descended upon it in fire; and the smoke ascended as the smoke of a furnace, and the whole mount trembled greatly.  

And when the voice of the shofar sounded long, and became louder and louder, Moses spoke, and God answered him by a voice.

Everything that is described in the Torah happens within us. The above excerpt describes the first appearance of the property of bestowal that a person feels inside his properties. They are are still egoistic and contrary to bestowal, but at the same time, they already aspire to similarity, to uniting with these properties, and start to feel that it is something valuable and superior. Inside these qualities, we keep re-assessing our values. However, this process is accompanied by the fear of losing and devastating our internal egoism: “What shall I be left with? Where is my family? Where are my loved ones? How can I possibly give them up?”

After all, we are attached to this world by the threads of various connections. Something is closer to me, something is farther; this one I love, the other one I hate.… Everything is compartmentalized. Our whole existence is about these threads. This is how our lives are set up.

Only a few people are able to decisively cut these liaisons off and will see what  happens next. For us, it’s worse than death since we completely lose self-control. Our egoism cannot tolerate it. This sensation can be compared with the birth process when a little child goes out of his mother’s womb and happens to be in the world that completely separates him from her. Can you imagine somebody who gives us life being cut off? It’s as if being deprived of oxygen.

What’s next? No more egoistic anticipations, no dreams of the future…, There is nothing to which you are accustomed to!

Question: So, does it mean that the training we go through does not prepare us for this stage?

Answer: A preparation period is meant to make you understand that you are not ready yet. Animals that live next to us do not comprehend these issues. This condition can be felt only by the property called “man” in us; it has nothing to do with the property of the “animal” in us. A preparation period is essential to lift us to the level at which we start feeling these nuances. Otherwise, why would this revelation happen, relative to whom?

The awareness of our oppositeness and unpreparedness is already an attainment. We begin realizing that the property of bestowal is contrary to us, that we are not there yet, or that we simply don’t understand it (negation of negation). Thus, we advance.
[105771]
From KabTV’s “Mysteries of the Eternal Book,” 2/18/13

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If a person has a strong will to attribute everything to the benefit of the Creator, it is a good thing, and he can pray to fulfill this yearning. To want to use all his desire to receive in order to bestow means to be written in the book of the righteous.

However, if he has a strong will to use everything for his self-benefit, it isn’t so bad either since here, everything is clear, and a person can understand the desires he has. He can pray for his desire to receive asking to record him in the book of the wicked who are doomed to death, which means that he wants to annul his ego.

He chooses in which book he wants to be recorded. But if he wants both and finds it hard to decide which one to prefer, it is already a problem. He must try to be in this unclear state as little as possible. Wanting to work for the Creator but, at the same time, to take a little for himself is very dangerous. If a person doesn’t fight against this split state, he can remain in the undecided state for many years, unable to prefer one side over the other.

He may think that he has received a bit from one side and a bit from the other, and so it is okay to wait, and everything will be alright. This is the worst possible state.

It means that a person must try to determine his state with the help of his exertion in the group and the influence of the environment so that he will know that he is wicked and will want to destroy his ego, that is, will want to be recorded in the book of the wicked who are doomed to death. This is called the First Restriction.

Then, he will want to be sentenced to life, being able to work in order to bestow, which means that he will be recorded in the book of the righteous. There must be a very strong request for the intention of in order to bestow upon the Creator so that a person at least will see that he only worries about his self-benefit.
[106643]
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 5/2/13

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There is no higher state than self-annulment, the annulment of the ego, of all our private thoughts and desires, of our previous attitude, of all our plans, goals, and expectations. It is a total annulment of my “Self,” as if I have never existed, don’t exist now, and will not exist in the future.

Everything that is in me, even the spark, the drop I have to be born from, also belongs to the upper one and not to me since it comes from Him. I have to annul myself to such an extent that this drop, from which I now begin to develop, will also be a drop of the Light that doesn’t belong to me either. It is hard to imagine, but in fact, entering spirituality is when a person totally neutralizes himself. Then the only thing that goes from the bottom up is the spark that he doesn’t attribute to himself either.

Hence the work on self-annulment is mandatory here. After the Machsom (barrier), we already begin to work with the desire to receive differently from the way we did below the Machsom, during the time of preparation. Thus a person begins to grow in the spiritual world, and he grows from one moment to the next by increasingly annulling himself. Above this annulment he works with his desire for the sake of others, which is more exalted than simple self-annulment. Here he demands full adhesion with the other and the ability to care for him out of love built above the hate.

It is the first spiritual state in which we transcend from one world to another, it’s total self-annulment done by the Light that Reforms.
[105791]
From the 2^nd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/22/13, The Zohar 

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