Lately we have been speaking a lot about self-annulment. And this is no accident; I hope that we really are approaching it. Even though the ego is propelling us, we need to be directed to adhesion.
At the time of adhesion with the upper, I see myself as a part of some machine and I need to connect to it with each cell, each organ, every part of my “body” so as to integrate exactly into the work of this machine.
I don’t have a “head,” meaning, self-understanding; I need to annul all my thoughts, all my calculations, and all my desires. My only pleasure, my singular intention, and my singular desire are directed at how to integrate with this machine. Let everything pass through me, but I do not participate in it to begin with. I do everything as if I do not exist. They will activate me 100%, not only will they tell me what to do, but they will also activate me; this is called self-annulment.
After that comes disagreement, criticism, bad impulses, clarification, disappointments, complaints…and together with all this, I need to annul myself all the time to participate in the work of this machine. I find myself in it “outstretched and open to it as if I do not exist, and even though the desire and the mind begin to work inside me, I, with all this, still continue to annul myself. That’s how the fetus grows inside the womb: The Light of Ein Sof passes through me, but I take it only in the Behinat Nefesh.
The fetus annuls himself in the level of Nefesh, in the level of still, in Aviut Shoresh, the root level of the desire. Precisely because of that, all the Lights of NRNHY de Nefesh can pass through me. All his work in Mocha and Liba, mind and heart, in Galgalta ve Eynaim (GE) and AHP, in all his participation with Partzuf Ima, with Bina, is by him annulling himself. No matter how many thoughts and desires will pass through him, no matter how much he will be confused, no matter what obstacles will stand in his way, he continues to annul himself, and by that he is able to be part of the “body” of Ima (mother), to be inside her.
The fetus does not activate itself in any way even though all its parts are growing. They grow and work in annulment. The mother does everything through the umbilical cord, and the fetus completely annuls itself; each part of the fetus works only in annulment. Otherwise, he is not ready to be born; he could not become a complete newborn. He still doesn’t have the form of “man.” Therefore, he must finish his work of annulment toward the upper.
He moves, his heart, his lungs, and all the rest of his parts are working properly, but only in annulment. We don’t understand this, we think that this is simply a small man and that everything works in a regular way, but the whole form of the work is in annulment towards the upper. Otherwise birth is in danger.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/4/13, “A Speech for the Completion of The Zohar”