Question: If I have to totally annul myself by remaining as one point while everything else comes from the Creator, where is the volume in which I feel my existence, my spiritual reality?
Answer: This is called the “spiritual world.” Think only about how to penetrate it. Your existence there begins after you cease to exist. When you cease to exist in your current form, you will appear there.
Now it seems unclear, but from this negative form you already begin to move towards the Light; you have the feeling that this place may actually exist and is real, but that it’s beyond the Machsom (barrier), beyond the border after which the “I” אוי(: aleph – nun- yod) becomes “no I” (אין: aleph – yod – nun).
This point of “no I” is in the new space that is felt by this negative form as a very solid, strong field, that fills it and that is essential. But with regard to the previous state, with regards to my egoistic “I,” it is called “no I” and this fills me with joy.
In our world joy is felt as a filling in the desire to receive, but in spirituality joy is felt as “in Him our heart shall rejoice.” I am very happy that you have such thoughts and that they make you suffer since you feel disoriented. Later you will feel the joy when you attain the goal. Now you have to be happy that you are on the way to it and that you have at least risen above your ego a little. The stronger the Light shines and the more the group strengthens you, the more you can rejoice that you have transcended yourself.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/4/13, “The Study of the Ten Sefirot”