I want to strive for the good all the time, but this is precisely what awakens the evil inclination. The evil inclination is the most important tool for attaining spirituality. It is impossible to advance if you do not feel the resistance of your egoism each time. You will not know where to go and what to do; you do not understand what is bothering you.
Therefore, the Creator is proud to have created the evil inclination in us. This is the most certain indicator, the faithful servant of the Creator who brings us closer to Him by constantly showing us our oppositeness to His properties. Egoism demonstrates all sorts of qualities to us; it says: “Look, this is not the Creator!” From this, we understand what is: “Yes, this is the Creator.”
Why couldn’t all this be done with the help of the good inclination alone, which would draw us to the good? The fact is that the advantage of light is revealed from darkness. We cannot discern good against the background of good. How can one see the Creator against the background of good if he himself is absolute good, of the same quality? Only due to the fact that we find out that we strive for the opposite because of our pride, ambition, and egoism do we realize that this is the wrong way and that we have to go in the opposite direction, that is, in subjugation.1
If I address the Creator directly, personally, then even a request to take me out of my desire to enjoy’s grip will be egoistic. Whatever request might seem altruistic to me, if I make the request myself, it comes from my egoism. I just do not see it and deceive myself.
If I want to be sure that I am asking for it correctly, then I should contact the Creator only through the ten and ask to merge with it. As a result of my correct request, the upper light must come and glue me to the ten. Indeed, the Creator, whom I would like to approach, is in the ten.
I ask the reforming light to bring me closer to the ten, and by this I come closer to the Creator. The Creator is the power of bestowal, and by attaching to the ten, I also acquire some power of bestowal.2
The correct appeal to the Creator passes only through the group. If at least one word passes through the correct adapter, which is the group, then it is transmitted correctly.
If I myself appeal to the Creator, then what is so special about it? Who doesn’t appeal to Him? Even a thief prays to have a successful robbery and not be caught. Only a request that is sent through the Kabbalistic group is a genuine prayer.
In order to perceive the Creator, not abstractly, but in the form of HaVaYaH, with which I can establish contact, I have to address Him through the group. After all, the group is organized in the form of HaVaYaH, and even if it is hidden from me, I still join this matrix within which the Creator is present.
Start constantly striving to be included in the group, and you will see how it works.3
The desire to attain the opposite side of nature comes only from the reforming light. Currently, my nature is the desire to enjoy within which I want to get all sorts of fillings—to become great, strong, and famous—I want, I want, I want… I am ready to work, to make efforts to get fulfilled with food, sex, family, wealth, honor, and knowledge—all the pleasures of this world.
However, suddenly a blow comes, a great disappointment from a failure to receive fulfillment, one so harsh that life seems worse than death. I lose all hope of achieving the desire. I wanted to be great and famous, but, conversely, I feel I am smaller than everyone, a complete loser, a zero. Life just smashes me into a wall.
Here, I begin to feel that all this was arranged for me from above, by the Creator. Suddenly there is a reason, a source of my suffering that says: “Let’s get to know each other! It is me who does this to you.” Then I suddenly realize how great it is that the Creator exists. Now I can justify my life, my failures and my troubles. I feel good because I can relate everything to the Creator.
From this point on, I associate all good and bad events to one source. I am still not familiar with Him, but I already know that there is a source, the original cause from which everything originates. My life then becomes sweetened, for He is the first and the last, and I am in the middle. So, I establish a connection with the Creator, referring everything that happens to Him, both good and bad, all my thoughts and desires.
I suddenly begin to care about Him. I want to make Him happy. I begin to think in advance about how to arrange the thoughts and desires He sent so that when they return to Him they would give Him pleasure. This is already work on the connection with the Creator, and as a result I understand that for real contact with the Creator and surrender to Him, I have to turn to Him only through the ten.
My desires and thoughts directed to the Creator have to be transformed after passing through the ten in order to receive clothing and the correct form. I can then be sure that they will reach the Creator. I still do not really feel the ten, but I already understand that to the same extent, I do not feel the Creator. I received the right device for communicating with Him, which is always on and available to me. One just needs to learn how to use it. So begins my serious and consistent work in the ten.4
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/14/19, Writings of Rabash, Vol. 2, Article 11 “What Does the Rule “What It Means that the Good Inclination and the Evil Inclination Guard a Person in the Work”
1 Minute 30:30
2 Minute 37:07
3 Minute 54:00
4 Minute 56:30