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Study Shows Couples Without Children Are Happier

Dr. Michael LaitmanIn the News (from The Telegraph): “Open University study finds that when people were asked to rate the quality of their relationship those without children emerged as happier overall.

“For centuries, having children has been held up by many as the ultimate source of fulfillment and meaning in life.

“However, according to one of the biggest studies ever conducted into Britain’s relationships, childless couples have happier marriages.

“The project has found that people without children are more satisfied with their relationships and more likely to feel valued by their partner than couples with children.

“The study, by the Open University, involved interviews and surveys with more than 5,000 people of all ages, statuses and sexual orientations.

“When people were asked to rate the quality of their relationship those without children emerged as happier overall.

“For both men and women, those who did not have children ranked the quality of their relationship more highly than those who did. They also did significantly more to ‘maintain’ their relationship, such as taking time to go out together or talk, than those with children.

“Yet, when asked to rate how happy they were with their lives in general there was a gender divide. Mothers were happier overall than any other group, while childless women were the least happy. By contrast men with children emerged slightly less happy than those without.”

My Comment: Never before have people contemplated the necessity of marriage and offspring. This has always been taken for granted. Increased egoism triggered a critical attitude to the institution of family, marriage, and procreation. Now we are in a transition period and it is not possible to solve anything

But soon we will sober up and make the necessary decisions as the blows of life force us to rise above our egoism, to begin to look above it, and into the meaning of our existence.

Of course, for our kind of existence today, it is really not worth living. But it is worthwhile to live for the sake of the revelation of the Creator and eternal life that is perfect, even in this lifetime.

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Take An Example From Our Spiritual Parents

Dr. Michael LaitmanOur forefathers lived ages ago, but those who are most important for us are our relatives: our grandfather, grandmother, father, and mother. Our mother and father are undoubtedly the most important since it is through them that we connect to all the generations that preceded them.

This refers both to our corporeal parents and to our spiritual parents. This is also how we connect to our upper father and mother (AVI), our spiritual parents, in order to receive the power, the Light, through them. All our work is in subduing ourselves before them.

Everything depends on the extent to which we can take an example from them and our wanting to be like them, to learn from them, and to subdue ourselves before their greatness. Our ego is intentionally meant for us to criticize them, and our work is to ascend above this criticism, although we disagree.

It is natural to disagree with our father and mother because we are on a lower level, but when we ascend above all the doubts, the questions, the difficulties, and the disagreements with the upper level, it is thanks to this that we ascend.

First, we totally nullify ourselves and incorporate in the upper like an embryo. Then, we move to the phase of Yenika (suckling) and Mochin (mind) and become more independent. All these levels are based on self-annulment, the restrictions of the ego, the acquisition of a Masach (screen), and on working above the criticism that is invoked in us toward the upper.

Therefore, the role of the nation is to annul themselves before the sages, the Kabbalists, to listen to them and serve them in any way possible. We actually must use the Kabbalist’s reason and listen to his advice when he tells us which steps we must take in order to advance spiritually.

This is also how we should act with regard to the world. Israel is called Li Rosh (I have a head), and so those who are on the level of Israel and attain spirituality must fulfill their role with regard to others. We either belong to Yashar El (straight to the Creator), and thus guide others, or to the nation, and then we subdue ourselves with regard to this guidance and follow it.

This refers especially to our nation when we try to reach a state in which everything that is written in the Torah is actually taking place in practice. We are the first generation that is trying, that is making an effort, to fulfill the Torah as well as to set an example for others, which means to reach a connection that is equal to the form of the upper, to the Creator’s form.

Thus, we establish relationships in the group and outside the group, among the nation and outside the nation. Thus, everything is organized in levels, in the shape of a pyramid, and the one below who subdues himself more than others, ascends higher than others.

Now, he is below since he has a Reshimo (reminiscence) from the big Masach that he once had and which he fulfilled it in order to bestow. Now that the Masach is shattered, he fell to the lowest level.

If he annuls himself, his ego, rises above it, and each time attributes himself to a level that is higher than he is, he will reach the top of the pyramid. Thus, the whole pyramid becomes a circle, and we return to the state of Ein Sof (Infinity), of one vessel and one Light.

During the time of the corrections, the time of the work, we have no other choice but to subdue ourselves before the upper. Everyone should understand who his upper is and from whom he receives the method, the Torah, the guidance along the way. Then, all the corrections will become the same, which means that they all form a circle.
From the Preparation for the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/23/14

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Correction On A High Level

Dr. Michael LaitmanThe Torah, “Leviticus” (Shemini), 10:16-10:17: And he was angry with Elazar and Ithamar, Aaron’s surviving sons, saying, “Why did you not eat the sin-offering in the holy place? For it is holy of holies, and He has given it to you to gain forgiveness for the sin of the community, to effect their atonement before the Lord!”

Eating meat is a very high level, which isn’t even allowed for all the priests.

We discern five levels in the spiritual Partzuf: the mind, the bones, the tendons, the flesh, and the skin. Attaining a state in which I begin to clarify the fourth level of the egoistic desire on the level of a priest is called eating the meat of the offerings that were burnt in the Tabernacle. It is a correction on a very high level, working with the attributes of in order to receive for the sake of the Creator.

Aaron’s sons Elazar and Ithamar were allowed to do so, meaning to ascend to a higher level thanks to the fall of their brothers Nadav and Avihu, who despite their fall discovered the desires by which such actions can be performed.

It is important to say that the Torah was written so that we can gradually follow it, and here we read about such high levels of the human spirit that we have no idea of because we cannot exit our ego. There the pure attribute of bestowal is in effect.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 1/22/14

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For The Sake Of My Friends, I Will Seek The Good

Dr. Michael LaitmanPsalms, 122:8-122:9: “For the sake of my brethren and my companions, I shall now speak of peace within you. For the sake of the house of the Lord our God, I shall beg for goodness for you.”

A person must constantly justify the Creator regarding all events that happen to him and his friends, the people who are spiritually close to him.

In our spiritual relationship, we must pray that our friends will feel the good relationship of the Creator. And for ourselves, we must ask to feel the relationship of the Creator as good all the time.
From the Sochi Convention 6/10/14, Lesson 2

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Exhilarating Wine

Dr. Michael LaitmanThe Torah, “Leviticus” (Shemini), 10:8-10:11: And the Lord spoke to Aaron, saying, “Do not drink wine that will lead to intoxication, neither you nor your sons with you, when you go into the Tent of Meeting, so that you shall not die. [This is] an external statute for your generations, to distinguish between holy and profane and between unclean and clean, and to instruct the children of Israel regarding all the statutes which the Lord has spoken to them through Moses.”

Wine symbolizes the Light of Hochma.

Everything depends on how we receive and perceive it. If I receive it in a vessel that is ready for bestowal, the Light of Hochma becomes the Light of life for me. But if I receive it in a vessel that isn’t ready, which means for myself, I get drunk and descend to the level of an animal, until the actual burning of the robes of priesthood, until the state of death.

We can understand this principle on the corporeal level when a person who loves to drink loses his human quality and lies about totally drunk.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 1/22/14

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The Light At Absolute Rest

Dr. Michael LaitmanThe Light is in complete rest because all of its intentions are maximally directed toward convergence, union, connection, and adherence with us. At every second, it carries out billions of actions (if one could possibly express this temporally).

The Light is unchanged in any way, and its program is aimed only at bringing us to the state of wholeness. This is called rest.

If I only have one intention, one impulse, and one action, and I never change it in any way; it can be changed under the influence of some object, within the object itself, but not in my attitude to it.

In physics, for example, any force applied to an object is constant and changes only the object itself. Consider a rotating magnetic field induction coil. Along with the constant magnetic field, the induction coil creates a changing electric current within it.

Or, let’s take another example. Loving parents are ready to do everything for their child, but suddenly they give him a spanking. How can this be? If a stranger sees this, he thinks, “Barbarians! Someone should call the police!” But actually, this is love.

We have a good example from Rabash. When a child screams that he wants to poke himself in the eye with a pin, but the parents don’t give him this dangerous object, with this, they are exhibiting love not cruelty.

However, to the receiver, love is discovered in a completely different form, just as it is revealed to us throughout the world. Everything is bestowal of the Creator upon us, from the most horrible actions that we see in this world to the most wonderful actions. All of this is the same absolute love of the Creator.

We can feel such actions on us as a minus or a plus, and this is what is called His being found at absolute rest. And we are in accordance with whatever Reshimot (reminiscences) are revealed and in how we realize them, we feel His bestowal within such a gap.
From the Sochi Convention 6/10/14, Lesson 2

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Intentions Should Determine Actions

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: The Creator commanded the sons of Aaron not to mourn their dead brothers, but He commanded the people of Israel to mourn them. What does this difference mean?

Answer: We differentiate between the categories of father, mother, brother, husband, wife, and children in the spiritual work and only then is the general mass of the people.

People are the states of our soul, which concerning all family circumstances are on the level of the still nature and so they lack any understanding of what is happening.

The desires that are on the next levels, however, on the levels of family relatives, people who are close to each other, are already somewhat dependent on one another, so they don’t have to mourn them and do nothing, but quite the contrary.

There are desires that they have to comply with because by that they descend during the seven days of mourning to the depth that is revealed to them, to the egoistic desire called Nadav and Avihu, and by attaining it they begin to correct these attributes.

Question: Does this means that the Israeli nation has to descend to such depths in order to attain it and to ascend again?

Answer: The people are in such a state that they cannot understand anything or do anything. Therefore nothing is understood in our desires that are called “people” who are on such a minor egoistic level. They are corrected automatically until they begin to understand who we are, what we do and why.

It is just like we perform millions of different random and unnecessary actions in different situations in life and thus gradually reach states that are better understood. Thus, we begin to understand how we should advance. This means that we don’t perform random actions without any intention, but our intentions begin to determine our actions.
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 1/22/14

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The Primary Principle For Advancement

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: What is the primary principle for advancement?

Answer: To better understand what spiritual work is we have to start at the very end, the last point, the goal: “merging.” It can be attained only with the influence of the Upper Light.

Throughout the whole path of one’s spiritual ascent, the correction of one’s egoism from its initial point until reaching the stage of final correction, at the very beginning of this path, the original point of correction of egoism, a person has to realize that only the Upper Light has the power to correct him.

In other words, the recognition of evil has to transpire within a person, as it is said: “I created egoism and the Torah to correct it”; this is the starting point.

It is the most important thing since it distinguishes between religious people and Kabbalists.

Religious people do not observe the evil within themselves and therefore they don’t correct it, rather they do actions that lead them to a heaven after death.

Whereas a Kabbalist knows that the possibility of revealing the upper reality is given to him only in this life; the death of the body does not add anything to him because there is neither paradise nor hell after death.

When a person refuses any chances to attain the goal by all the means that are available to him, but instead releases himself to the Upper Light and begins to rely only upon Him, it means that he is approaching the starting point of the ladder that leads us to the Creator.

Further on, he has to apply a lot of effort to pass all the gates and realize that they don’t lead to the upper world; this understanding allows him to arrive at the very last gate that is always open, the Gates of Tears, and enter.

Before achieving this state, there are many egoistic tricks that come from the revelation of evil, learning, attaining egoistic wisdom, dissemination, anything that replaces worshipping the Light, a state that is impossible to reach on our own, and can only be attained with the help of the Upper Light that corrects and raises us to the level of the property of bestowal.

Realization of evil can be accelerated only with the help of the group. Recognition of evil associated with our egoism should not be felt like a regular desire “for my own sake,” but rather like an understanding of our oppositeness to the Creator, a state that prevents us from attaining the goal.

The group, studies, and dissemination have to bind together in order to quickly initiate our understanding that only the Upper Light’s impact will save us.
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