Answer: Both spiritual love and corporeal love are bought by actions; our world is the world of actions. If we perform actions, even if we don’t have the right intention and the right feeling, these actions draw the Light that Reforms that changes our feeling and our understanding.
There is no other means! If our matter, our desire, and our intention are focused only on ourselves, we cannot do anything that is the opposite. The opposite is done by the same means that is called “this world” in which we can perform actions. Although these actions stem from our desire to receive and from the intention to receive for ourselves, on the level of this world, it is like bestowal, which means that I give to the other.
I want to receive for myself and I also give to the other because I want to receive for myself, but if I arrange and organize the giving according to the advice of Kabbalists, then the giving works! It is said that the sages of the Talmud made a certain preparation that allows us to use the means of the Light that Reforms instead of torturing ourselves physically, instead of working directly against our desire and our intention.
This Light operates on us if we perform actions according to the advice of Kabbalists: yearning for the love of friends, giving presents to the friends, trying to connect between us, and studying together from Kabbalistic sources.
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/19/13, Writings of Rabash