Questions I received on the loss of desire and other disturbances:
Question: I’ve been studying Kabbalah for over a year, and lately I’ve been faced with a problem. My desires for different pleasures of this world are gradually disappearing, and the only desires left are the minimal desires needed for bodily survival. Is this regression? Can I somehow develop desires for fulfillment? I feel like I am turning into an amoeba. Even though I don’t limit myself in any way, I don’t see any point in making “unnecessary movements.” Where did my egoism go? If it fell asleep, then how can I wake it back up?
My Answer: You’re discovering that it’s pointless to fulfill your egoism, and because you’ve made this revelation, you have lost the energy (Homer Delek) to aspire for material things. This happens to many people in our world, resulting in a feeling of emptiness and depression – the most widespread disease in the world. However, spirituality also disappears and ceases to attract you.
Both of these feelings are evoked in you by the Creator on purpose, in order to create a place for freedom of will, a place for you to make your own efforts above your nature. It’s because all the things that you can do on your own are actually done by the Creator. But if you reveal the emptiness of this world and become indifferent to this world, and in addition you also reveal a special emptiness of the spiritual world, and the spiritual world also ceases attracting you, then you should participate in the group and the study correctly, in order to evoke the importance of the spiritual goal – “the revelation of the Creator (love for your neighbor).”
This desire draws the Upper Light (Ohr Makif), which will bring you the perception of spirituality – the Creator, the quality of bestowal and love. So you should receive the importance of spirituality from your friends!
Question: Dear Rav, after my study visit to Bnei Baruch I really felt that my soul, for the first time, felt that it was at home. It was a power that was stronger than my body. It caused many conflicts when I tried to balance my time between the desire of my soul and doing my bodily things. Now that I am back I feel like I have no desire for anything. This happens to me after each congress and each time I have a very strong contact with Bnei Baruch. Why does this happen and how can I pass these states?
My Answer: This is natural, because we at Bnei Baruch have a very intense spiritual atmosphere, and you are being imbued by it. After returning home from your visit to us, you have to heighten your spiritual life so it will take place on the same level that you felt while being with us.
Question: I encountered many problems while doing dissemination actions. For example, I fell down, my eyes and teeth became infected, and so on. Public opinion says that the obstacles are telling me that I shouldn’t be doing this, that I have to change my outlook, and so on. But I believe differently – that I have to make efforts in order to reinforce my intention for reaching the goal. Please explain, how should I interpret the disturbances?
My Answer: If your body is physically and psychologically healthy, then you have to overcome the disturbances without paying attention to your body. However, if the disturbances need medical treatment, then you should immediately go to the doctor, while continuing your studies and dissemination.
Comment: In a previous blog post I wrote that Kabbalah is more important than family – that if a man’s wife is against Kabbalah and it’s impossible to compromise or persuade her, then it’s permissible to get a divorce for the sake of your soul. I received a few perplexed responses – “How can this be?” People don’t understand that life is meaningless if it’s not used to attain the goal that has been set before every person. The sky, the earth, and every one of us were created for attaining this goal, and not for creating a marriage on the animate level and becoming a slave of your partner’s egoism.
So the conclusion to be made from this is: In all life situations, your behavior should be determined only by the spiritual goal!
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