Question: As a child I loved to read romance novels, and as a result, I certain image of an ideal romantic relationship developed. When I grew up, it seems that I tried to embody this ideal image and constantly got it wrong. It turns out that this image has nothing to do with what I really need.

Answer: Certainly, because these romances are completely imaginary and don’t describe a true inner connection. All of your work must be to be freed from these false forms and images. Nature intentionally obliges us to be occupied with them so that we will become disappointed and freed from this lie and relative to it we will discover how to find true love. Otherwise, we would not have this possibility.

In the meantime we are still enthralled by this lie, captured by our imaginary and artificial images. After we cleanse ourselves of this external Klipa and gradually discover our “net” pure self, our desires and our characteristics, we attain a true inner connection. There will no longer be any falling in love; rather, there will be true love because we will desire to connect soul to soul according to the spiritual characteristics of each of us.

We will understand how it is possible to bestow and to give to each other reciprocally. All of my happiness and emotions are supported by this; I will feel how to fulfill my wife and she will fulfill me, each of us will live within the other.
[112163]
From a Talk on Integral Upbringing 6/20/13

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Question: You say that there is a need for opening a “Course on Love” in today’s world and not to rely on occasional outbursts of love. How should we begin this study?

Answer: First of all, it will be necessary to gather a group of five to ten couples and teach them the fundamentals of human nature. It is up to us to explain to them what our ego is and how it develops, what kind of family there was in the past and how it developed in antiquity, in the Middle Ages, in the new era, and in the post-modern period.

In fact, what motivates this process is our egoistic desire for pleasure. This changes and causes the appearance of new forms of familial relationships.

In the past, they didn’t expect any particular manifestations of emotion from these relationships, for the ego was small and didn’t demand fulfillment at the height of love. A simple partnership was sufficient for this. It was satisfied with a recognized way of life, according to which a man took a woman from his tribe or from the village of his birth, or fulfilled the desire of his parents, and no one saw any problem with this.

In contrast to this, today, factors like modern culture and the media have become involved with this, and young people have become more developed than ever before. They feel the entire world with all their senses and cannot be satisfied with random coincidence or chance meetings with a partner. Many works of art, the Internet, and television present so many examples of searching for partners and relationships, betrayals and disappointments, and conflicts and competition in this area that a shared life has become very complex.

Our ego has grown to such a degree that it confuses us and turns us around at will. We no longer know how to contend with it, and, therefore, we simply need to control it, to rein it in without minimizing it which, in principle, is something impossible. Rather, it must be provided for in such a form that it will not control us, and instead, we will control it.

In order to do this, everyone must rise above his nature, become his own psychologist, and understand his partner also, who in turn must act in the same manner, and then we communicate with it on two levels:

• From thought to thought (intellect) at the height of the person
• From heart to heart, on the level of the ego. After all, the “heart” is the reservoir of all our desires and yearnings.

We understand that we have intellect and emotion, systems that must be balanced in every person in such a form that the brain dominates over the heart. Then, everyone will know how to cooperate and be integrated with others through mutual understanding and bringing desires together.

If we relate to this idea precisely this way, we become a mature pair of researchers. This is not talking about age or about experience, but rather about the approach itself that contributes to a balanced conception of things, even for high school students. This is a real matriculation examination.

At the same time, today, there are couples of the age of forty and fifty who behave like children and come with unrealistic, “childish” complaints about each other, like children who only know how to demand that their mother entertain them.

No, we need to know the boundaries, the limitations of each other, to recognize a person’s inner system. Then, I will understand how close I can be with my partner, where it is necessary to stop and keep my distance, and where to be included with him, or truly adhere to him. In general, we learn this from the various problems in life, from the bitter experience of mistakes that show us what is better for one not to say to the other, about what is possible to compromise, and in what way we are truly together.

We can divide our common field into three parts, three different kinds of relationships. I try to rise above my ego and relate to the nature of my partner in three ways:

• Where not to come into contact with him
• Where to find points of contact
• Where to reach heartfelt adherence

However, then, a question may be asked: How do we relate to this field of ours? How do we integrate these three parts within me and within him? How can we constantly be concerned about meaningful closeness and connection in a more conscious way? How do we develop a “planned” love, which is to say, think about the interests of each of us? You see, love is our shared “child” whom we raise by means of mutual concessions.

The answers to these questions we find together.

Question: What do the partners in this shared field feel in their common “territory”?

Answer: First, we leave the private territory that is found behind each of us alone, the deepest most intimate things, whether it is people who are closest to us from childhood or memories etched into the soul. We don’t touch each other in this area.

Second, our common territory, which we can discuss, is a place of choice that for the meantime is neutral and must be improved all the time.

Third, in the territory of love, we are included in each other. We are connected by a common emotion.

Regarding the common territory, we want to continue to come closer so we can combine it with the “territory” of love. In spite of this, from the start, we need to be aware that each of the partners is an absolute egoist who doesn’t want to give anything to the other and wants to get one hundred percent of pleasure from him. From the start, each one “belongs” to the other, as simple as it sounds, and after that, these two areas, these two circles of our interests, gradually begin to intersect.

I repeat that intimacy is based upon mutual concessions that we try to make in the intensity that grows from time to time. We check ourselves through calculating with constant consideration the degree to which we can continue to approach each other. If emotion exists, that is very good, and if it disappears, the mind continues to follow what is happening. This is a mechanism that is working incessantly. This is a “computer” inside of me and inside my partner, and both of us know that we are going toward greater closeness and integration, until we adhere to each other. We do this more and more, all the time, as much as possible.

These are our programs. All that we do in life, all of our states, we accept not as coincidence, but as a chance, as an opportunity for gradual unification.

In this circumstance, our mind develops the emotion in us. I feel how important my partner is, how unique he is, and that is how he also relates to me. Together, we can sum up our relationship. We are connected and faithful to each other. My partner is a special person, different from all the rest. I am found in a system of a relationship with him that I don’t have with anyone else. Such a mutuality dwells between us that we become one entity.

From here comes the help, support, mutual understanding, and constant effort to show my partner how pleasant it is for me to surrender, to concede to him, to leave more room for him. That is how we advance.

This requires constant work on our ego, but each receives support from the partner. We have something to talk about. There is something to learn from each other.

The main thing here is to act judiciously under the control of the mind. We must practice this. After all, people generally are embarrassed about activating the mind and at the same time are embarrassed about expressing love. They are afraid to open their soul so that you won’t spit at it, so you won’t ridicule their feelings.

So, we need to know the person well, who he is and what he is. Only then will our relationship be natural and we will stop being embarrassed about our nature. On the contrary, we try to work with it with understanding and maturity so that there won’t be misunderstandings, evasiveness between us, and the ridiculous, childish poses that characterize young couples who often are caught in the trap of pride and arrogance. On the contrary, even a young partner will be “ripe” with his grasp and approach to life.

Due to the fact that we are not taught how to love, we lose a lot. We don’t know how to build systems of relationships and so we pass the same erroneous patterns on to our children. Without a doubt, if we show them the right way, then at least the younger generation will receive a gift worth more than fine gold, providing them with a happy life.

Question: You called one of the parts of the field of our system of relationships a territory of love. What does that mean?

Answer: Here, there is an agreement between us. We have already worked together each on his own and with the partner. We become partners in the full sense of the word to such a degree that the differences between us disappear. Usually, people feel something similar with respect to common property, grandchildren, and children, from something that comes from both of them where they already have become one.

For example, we conceived the children together. This relates to both of us and in principle, is no longer something that can be divided. In general, even philosophically, it is interesting that the continuation of love is one from two that includes both of them. However, anyway, the children are our common area of interest and accordingly, of a common emotion. Therefore, it doesn’t matter what happens. We can renew our connection, begin discussions again, and begin to cultivate those blossoms that we share together.

Here is an example of a shared territory: The love that I have in my heart is also in the partner. Our child is like a third factor through which we can develop our love together.

Besides this, we don’t limit ourselves to these three factors. Rather, we allocate a place in our hearts for each other. Just as I feel her in my heart, so she also feels me in her heart. There, in that common territory, we already have some kind of shared feeling, understanding, and agreement. We already have a covenant between us there, a contract for the future. I cannot take her out of this territory, and she cannot take me out. We are rooted there together strongly, deep within the ground, and these roots will no longer disappear.

We need to reach this feeling. It is called absolute love or a covenant, and sometimes when we talk we must focus on the reality of this mutual love.
[107853]
From a Talk about New Life 7/30/12

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Question: What is the compass that will make it possible for me to establish where the “self” is found and where it isn’t? Where is this strange thing found that covers me like a thick Klipot (skin) that needs to be peeled?

Answer: This compass is the group. When you discuss this together, you reach the true form that exists in everyone, male or female. A youth who is in love symbolizes a personal lack for connection with another. However, in the meantime, this other is comprehended by him on the animate level as an interest in the opposite sex.

However, when you peel away all of the artificial Klipot and move it all to the left side, only the desire that you discover remains for you on the right side, then, with the help of the two Kelim, you become an expert examiner who begins to examine and clarify. You already can look at everything seriously, understanding what you want to attain. You now search for a true, reciprocal connection in order to fill that space that is discovered in you.

Additionally, this is not that same space that existed then on the small, animate level. Rather, now, this is a space on the level of the Adam (man). You understand and feel this. Through the peeling, you expose the inner space, and then you truly understand what you are truly seeking. This begins to be clarified. You don’t go back to being that little boy or little girl. Rather, you transform into a man or a woman, understanding what you want.

You are searching for a true inner connection, a reciprocal relationship, a desire to fulfill each other where each one thinks about the other and is found within his own space. He wants to be aware of the space and to fill it. He knows what to do in order to penetrate into it and fill it, and the other opens his heart before me and both act reciprocally.

You understand what to do and together you play with the two lines. All the evil that you peeled away from yourselves transforms into shared evil, and even the good transforms into being shared, and then you transform into a single person with both good and bad characteristics. Together, you become a man and a woman connected into a single system.
[111933]
From a Talk on Integral Upbringing 6/20/13

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Question: How is it possible to choose a partner for life without repeating the failed experiences of the past and learning to build a good, stable, and correct connection that will endure?

Answer: First of all, a true connection is not transient. I am specifically interested that it will continue all the time, for with it I can have a very strong connection, “open” myself in breadth and depth so much so that through this connection I will be able to see the world differently. Building my connection with a partner becomes a new “Kli” for comprehending reality, comprehending the world.

In a form like this I open and discover myself, becoming a person with new “Kelim,” vessels. Thanks to the new spaces that I discover in my relationship with my partner, I acquire additional new emotions. Therefore I would not agree to lose her, I need her all the time so that within the reciprocal connection that we are building and developing I will acquire a different, more internal point of view of the world.

We begin to internalize deeper relationships between all parts of Creation, within the connections between people and all of humanity. Our familial connection gets better. We learn how it is up to us to relate to children and the children to us. By way of the relationships between us, we begin to understand what nature is. We learn that there exist forces in nature that are called, “father and mother,” and “children.” All creatures pair off to continue the generation, plus are always connected to minus in the nature of the still, vegetative, animate and in human society.

Polarized relationships like these are created not only between a single man and woman but also between the strata of a particular population, between various groups. I see the entire universe as a system of reciprocal linkage. Within my understanding, within me, I am already beginning to see the entire world in the right way. You see, nature intentionally arouses these forces in me so that in a form like this I will be able to be aware of it.

In the beginning of my connection with a woman, I see a foundation for unlocking the secret of life, the secret of our existence. I will be able to understand and see everything in my life in a deeper, more correct form, and I will never err! Apparently my individual internal success transforms into my social and existential success.

Therefore I relate very seriously to familial relationships and search for a woman who understands me and feels as I do, so we can operate at the same frequency. It’s up to us to get an education in the new society where all the single men and women are gathered and where there will be a multitude of possibilities for being more aware of one another.

During the discussions, the workshops, and the various events, each one can check and find someone who is most appropriate for him and closest to him in outlook, opinions, attitude, and comprehension. We begin to play like a musical chord, as if we are playing together with a single instrument, completing each other all the time.

It’s difficult to convey this with words; this belongs more to an internal emotion. The work is done on two planes. On the one hand we peel from ourselves all of the artificial strata that we received throughout our lives from external influences, all the imaginary values. And on the other hand, the more that we are released from these values, we can begin to play this within that, as with a musical instrument.

We see how we complete each other and emphasize the area formed between us in which I fulfill her and she fulfills me. We blend together so much into one image that it’s impossible to differentiate where I am and where she is, rather everything transforms into a single partnership. The more that we succeed in building and expanding this unity, I can no longer determine who is appropriate for me and who is not.

It’s necessary to understand that we are found in a natural force field in which everything is linked except for humans. But if we continue to connect, then we also begin to be integrated with nature on the level of Adam, the “speaking” level, we reach equivalence of form with nature. Then I begin to examine to what accommodation, to what equivalence of form with nature I reach together with the woman to whom I propose marriage.

We transform into one unit composed of the plus and minus found in balance with nature. We begin to feel that within us some kind of melody begins to play. This is the feeling of our accommodation with the general force of nature, the power of connection, the reciprocal bestowal and love. This force is discovered within us and must be proof that we are appropriate for each other and can continue to be together.

As long as we have not reached a feeling like this, it’s impossible to say anything. Nobody can predict if we are appropriate or not, no sage or adviser. The couple themselves must discover this. We are like David’s harp that hung on the wall and played when the north wind came and strummed on its strings. Therefore it’s also up to us to try to reach that wind and play upon our shared harp.
[111799]
From KabTV’s A Talk About New Life 6/20/13

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Question: Love means friendship and friendship, love. Why is there love between parents and children, but there is no friendship?

Answer: Basically, today, neither exists. We are in such a state of heightened egoism when children and parents no longer feel love for each other. We are not to blame; it is just what it is.

Today, many things are changing in humanity. People do not want to have children, do not want to create a family. There are those who agree to have a family but do not want children, and to the contrary, they want to have children but do not want to have a family. In general, everything is not right.

In my youth, everything was a bit different, and now I look at young people and do not understand them. They have a completely different nature. It is a sharp change of generation, hastening of time, and even greater changes are ahead of us.

The fact is that there is a rise of desires that are not yet expressed in us clearly, but are detached from the previous degree; that is, we are moving more and more away from the animate world. In other words, human nature, human egoism, is increasingly manifested in us. Therefore, we become detached from the previous animate level, and we lose the natural instincts aimed at creating a family and raising children. They acquire a nominal character.

All this leads us to correction. Meanwhile, people are moving under the influence of the new desires that are awakened in them, and then they will begin to recognize them, moreover, recognize them as harmful. How can we correct this? It is only by correcting our intention, working on mistakes.
[112152]
From the Convention in St. Petersburg, “Preparatory Lesson”

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Question: After I finish a particular stage of work with the group, is there a stage in which I work with a particular partner?

Answer: Yes, we gradually reach this after we discover how much we require a reciprocal connection and want to love someone. To love, this is to fulfill someone on a personal level. My inner space begins to indicate that I want to bestow to him, to do good for someone. This is called the impulse of love.

This is exactly what every youth feels when he is in love for the first time. He first wants to reach a connection with someone, to bestow to her and receive from her. The connection can only be a mutual connection; I convey something to her and receive something from her. I didn’t understand this then, since I was not a good psychologist yet. And now, through the “peeling” of the self and the work in a group, I begin to clarify what my true desire was. Therefore, when we get the natural state of being in love for the first time, it is not realized. But the second time that we reach a deficiency like this, it will be realized already.

As a result of the inner clarification of my true desire, I will need to discover that deep desire within me; I yearned to find someone in order to give to him. This is because I am happy if I succeed in making someone in particular happy. And he knows this, and returns that same relationship to me. Each one of us fulfills the other.

Question: And so I begin to search for someone to whom I will be able to bestow?

Answer: This becomes clear because we begin to sing at the same frequency, and I feel this. We have disengaged from an external look at each other and don’t look for an external attraction, rather we look more at the reactions of each other, and these reactions become more and more internal.

Suddenly I begin to feel that a particular person meets my inner requirements in a diverse way. We check all of this, speak between us within the group, and begin to understand with whom we can connect more and more clearly. This is continuous and most precise work. In such a form we build new Kelim, vessels, within us for mutual bestowal, a means for connection between us.
[111977]
From a Talk on Integral Upbringing 6/20/13

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The first stage when searching for a life partner is to peel from myself all extraneous things, like artificial values and perceptions of life, that I receive from external influences during my life. The second stage is returning to youth, to the ages of 12-15 when we suddenly fell in love for the first time in life and we discovered some kind of space within ourselves that could be filled only by a complementary reaction from someone, through reciprocity.

Question: Where do we begin our “peeling”?

Answer: It’s necessary to start from discussions in groups of single men and women. There we try to clarify what is artificial and didn’t belong to us from the start and that we acquired during our lives from different societies, artificial connections, from the Internet, from models that established all of our behavior of how to look and behave. A girl thinks that she needs to be seen as sure of herself and haughty like a princess. And a boy needs to be seen as macho, a hero, tall, strong, successful, and full of self confidence.

But it’s up to us to peel away from ourselves all of the images associated with a society that forces us to be seen this way and not another, and to clarify my true need in connection to which I can open myself wide without fear of anything. For if I truly cleanse myself of all the excess, then I will discover that I am that child who is not afraid that someone will harm him.

It’s up to me to understand that I am placed before the society as before nature with its laws. If I am included in it in a more open, clean, and simple form, I can feel myself protected. Specifically, thanks to the discovery of my examined heart, I can clarify who is ready to be with me in a reciprocal connection.

That is how I search for male friends for myself and also women, judging how appropriate they are for me, how they understand me and flow in the same wavelength as me. We pay attention less and less to exteriors and later pay less and less attention to gender; rather, we consider more and more the Adam (man) in them.

When we attain a feeling like this through directed discussions and workshops that raise us from the animate level to the “speaking” level, then I see who is close to me in soul and I am not attracted physically, nor do I answer to the distorted artificial standards that I received from society. It’s up to me to discern which friends are closer to me with the help of my soul, my inner voice.

Which is to say, first of all, I peel away all of the superfluous things that don’t belong to me. In the name of this we speak, make conversation within our group, and want to reach connection, to help one another. And after I have peeled all of this away, my true self remains, the pure, natural potential that existed before they clothed me with all the external Klipot. This is no longer that little child, but is my true deficiency, the inner void.

The first deficiency to link with another human I received from the outside as a natural yearning. But the second time the deficiency comes from me, from within me, “from below to above”; I awaken it with my own force, therefore it belongs to me. Therefore I can control it, understand it. This is no longer just a natural instinct that falls upon me from above to below, rather it is derived from me, which is to say, “from below to above.”

The first desire is from that child who fell in love for the first time in his life. And after that they added a “hardening of the heart,” life covered him with various egoistic coverings. Now it’s up to me to try to peel away all of these coverings, all of the superfluous layers, that conceal the true self and return to the natural deficiency. But this will not be that same child any more.

The first love symbolized for us the need, the thirst for an inner spiritual link with some perfected form, which we described as a young woman that we loved, a link from soul to soul. And now it’s as if I return to that state, but this is after I have peeled all of the artificial layers from myself and therefore I am found between two lines. On the one hand, I hold onto the pure natural deficiency, and on the other hand, I have all the Klipot, all of my ego, the evil force.

I have peeled away all of the concepts from myself that are considered to be good and evil in the eyes of society and that are not derived from me, all of the values that I received at school: how to look and how to behave. For all of them play their role.

I once saw a scene from an American film in which they laughed at the artificial behavior of children in a classroom. The children played roles all the time, imitating famous actors from the movies. And it was clear from what film and from what role each one was acting at the moment. And in the next moment, he already had begun to play another role, and that’s how it was for each one.

It’s up to us to peel from ourselves all of the images that they stuck on us, that they compelled us to play all the time. You will suddenly catch yourself thinking about how to sit, how to hold your head nicely. I see how my grandson mimics precisely all the movements of the kindergarten teacher.

An adult is tied hand and foot by models of behavior, images, preferences, and values. This begins with those that he adopted in childhood until the ages of 6-8, through a natural mimicking of adults. And after that he already began to store them himself through his ego, a desire to look good because society shows him that this is proper behavior in its opinion.
[111864]
From the Talk about Integral Upbringing 4/4/13

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Question: If, let’s say, an integral group includes five married couples, would it make a woman’s spiritual fulfillment stronger? Does she receive this fulfillment from her husband or from other men as well?

Answer: In a group, couples are learning only how to perceive one another correctly. Other married couples are like examples that give me different variations of relationships. This way, I grasp at once quite a few different problems, solutions, approaches, and so on. I become more bendable, soft, and flexible. For example, a wagon wheel can be made of wood or iron, and there is rubber. A wheel made of rubber does not break. I need precisely such softness that I acquire when I see others and observe their relationships.

I learn to be not only with myself. Inclusion into the integral society allows me to be prepared for everything that can only exist in the world.
[107114]
From the Talk about Integral Upbringing 4/4/13

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Question: How do we create our point of connection within the family, from what is this built?

Answer: The point of connection is built from my good desire and the good desire of my wife. This is the point of connection in which we feel each other internally. I suddenly begin to feel what is in my wife’s mind and heart and she feels what is in my mind and heart. We begin to be linked by more internal points that connect into one point.

And of course, when we attain this point of connection, it immediately disappears! At that moment evasion and hiding happens. It is as if I am trying to catch a target in the crosshairs and this point is turning all the time so that I don’t succeed in hitting it. But precisely because we are tracking it all the time and inserting more precision, adding variety, desires, thoughts, and mutual efforts, in this way we make progress.

Constant effort and steady work within the mind and heart are required of us, but simultaneously we feel excited. Here something new is discovered that we share, which is called the “man,” the inclusion of Adam and Eve together, a man and a woman. We discover the inner spiritual foundation of this structure called a “man” (Adam).

Question: How can I be sure that I am watching this process from our shared point and not from my private, self-serving point?

Answer: This feeling cannot be measured. You simply know that you feel each other now as you never felt each other before. Suddenly a unique sensation like this is awakened in you that you don’t want to escape. It gives you a feeling of vitality and fulfillment a billion times greater than you ever felt before. Then you can succeed in connecting to the image found opposite to you, and in this way you go out of yourself and begin to feel the whole world.

Question: So what can we do so this point of connection will never disappear?

Answer: You must work on it all the time together. If you grasp this point, you need to try to hold on to it through constant coupling, with a sensation of inner connection that doesn’t disappear.

Inner coupling cannot be explained in words. When you feel it in yourself, only then will you understand. This is not a beastly, corporeal coupling, rather a connection in which you feel that your own inner world and the inner world of your partner have become one.

Question: How does this actually happen, will I feel my wife’s thoughts, her emotions?

Answer: These will no longer be her thoughts, rather those of both of you, a common thought. A new reality is created from the connection of both of you into one. And within this connection, you will feel a higher level. We call this the Creator since we once came into this world from this level, were born, grew, and as if by chance we met and married. And now, thanks to this work, we again return to that source.

Question: And what do we do if we reach a drop of feeling like this for a second and then it disappears?

Answer: You must begin the work anew: I again describe to myself what my wife wants from me, compare this to my egoistic desire, and between these two extremes, construct a middle line. In that middle line we connect and reach a new unity.

When we get experience doing this work, then we can develop our personal relationships in an informed manner. But for starters, this picture can be described more simply, not in its true form, where each works with his two egoistic lines and builds between them a middle line, but as two opposing lines, mine and my partner’s, while attaining a middle line between us. And then each to the degree of his concession, will advance towards the middle where we meet.
[110552]
From KabTV’s “A New Life #46” 8/1/12

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Question: The principle for creating good relationships between couples states: “Through connection and love each one is included in the other, is enriched, and acquires more and more powers. The condition for this is that the person reduces himself in relation to the other and doesn’t place himself higher than the other.” How do we realize this principle in relationships between couples?

Answer: A connection is formed between couples like between two natures that become integrated into each other. The ego of each, within which the person lives, is round. He guards its borders and wants to receive fulfillment within them; other than this nothing concerns him. He also wants to receive pleasure and be fulfilled by his partner. If he is fulfilled thanks to which he benefits the partner, then this is what we call love. And if he is fulfilled by only taking from the partner and doesn’t give anything in return, this is called hatred. But ultimately, there is only one goal, personal fulfillment.

And here begins my work according to the original plan that I must nullify myself. The more that I empty a place within me of my ego, refrain from filling it, I can insert more and more of the desires of the other, meaning my wife’s, instead of my desires. In this form, each nullifies his ego in order to accept the desires of the other.

Ultimately a shared territory is created where I have nullified myself to give pleasure to my wife, and she does the same thing in regard to me as well in order to give me pleasure. That is how we find ourselves in a common territory where there is complete mutual agreement and connection between us. Through my concession and her concession, I accept her desires and thoughts and she accepts my desires and thoughts. This is at least to a particular degree, clearly everything would not be immediate.

This common territory is called the area of connection between us, unity, where we feel a common desire, a common attraction and understanding. In this territory exist agreement, a covenant, and love between us. Love says that I want to fulfill particular desires of my partner and she wants to do the same thing for me also. Meanwhile, this is not absolute and perfect love but only partial love, but we are conscious of this and protect it and are concerned about its existence.

Question: Due to what am I enriched and do I acquire additional powers?

Answer: Thanks to my connection with the other, even in the smallest common territory, then all the rest of his territory, including his desires and abilities, also pass into my domain. For if love, agreement, and connection in some kind of common territory exists between us, we are no longer enemies. We have not yet reached complete agreement; we haven’t worked on this yet. It could be that these questions have not been awakened in us yet and don’t stand like barriers before us that we must change and remove. But after we have reached a partial agreement, some kind of connection, love, and support, then it is already possible to be sure that the opposing side will stand by your side, will be your partner.

I concede my desires and thoughts and am ready to accept the desires, thoughts, and expectations of the partner; this is saying that I am nullifying myself in regard to her. Nature helps us with this; it connects us through common property, a house, and shared finances. It obliges us to be concerned for each other because we cannot exist separately. And the main thing is that we share in giving birth to children towards whom we feel an instinctive, natural love.

And so it is logical that a common realm is created between us on the earthly, material level. So what is required of us is to fulfill our common realm on a higher stratum through concessions of our ego, one in regard to the other, and in additional connection.

Particularly in our day we have reached such an egoistic development that the house, the common property, and our shared children no longer matter to us. So if we don’t construct a spiritual addition, undoubtedly we will divorce.

It is clear that neither of us would agree to nullify himself towards the other unless we intentionally do this for the sake of a higher goal. “Domestic peace” brings us a multitude of benefits; it protects the nerves, health, years of life and it brings serenity. There must be a very strong belief in all of society, a need to explain this to people. If each one would agree to see the discovery of the higher power in the partner, the likeness through which the Creator presents himself to the person, then necessarily he would lower himself.
[110013]
From KabTV’s “New Life” 8/1/12

Related Material:
A Strong Connection On The Basis Of A Double Ego
The Shared Space In Which A Family Is Born
Concessions Are A Sign Of Strength Not Weakness

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