Answer: If society will begin to value the spiritual goal, whether it’s out of hopelessness from being in a bad state or due to a timely realization of evil while in a good state, we will see ourselves and others as friends and partners on the path to the goal.
Now I judge every person, object, and state based on how much it can benefit my egoistic existence. Similarly in the future, I will judge everything in our world from the still to the human levels based on how it effects my advancement toward the goal.
If a beauty queen happens to be the most helpful in achieving the goal, I’ll marry her. But if a sales girl from the market happens to be the most helpful, I’ll marry her instead. Everything is determined by the goal.
We have an example of how the Jewish nation conducted itself before the destruction of the Temple, and in the orthodox forms almost until today. Wealth was never an object of respect. A young man was always judged by his knowledge. The one who knew more pages of the Torah by heart was better, and there where no other criteria for judging a person throughout all of history. Girls were judged based on the families they came from and their upbringing.
When it came to choosing a partner, parents made the decisions, not hormones after a chance meeting at a party. Why so? This is in accordance with the spiritual law. From Atik, there comes the Light that prompts Malchut of the world of Atzilut to unite with Zeir Anpin. In other words, the decision comes from above.
It is said that the Creator brings a couple together. And in our world, it’s the parents of the young couple that decide what’s best for them.
It has always been done in this fashion in order to neutralize the influence of external beauty. As Rabash used to say, two people should meet, talk, and make sure that they don’t disgust each other. If they don’t repel one another, this is all that’s needed. Everything else is built on mutual compromises. Then, there will surely be love between them.
Actually, the tradition of parents doing the matchmaking is common among all nations. The young were not asked, the parents used to bring them together.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/8/2011 on Women