Question: What is the compass that will make it possible for me to establish where the “self” is found and where it isn’t? Where is this strange thing found that covers me like a thick Klipot (skin) that needs to be peeled?
Answer: This compass is the group. When you discuss this together, you reach the true form that exists in everyone, male or female. A youth who is in love symbolizes a personal lack for connection with another. However, in the meantime, this other is comprehended by him on the animate level as an interest in the opposite sex.
However, when you peel away all of the artificial Klipot and move it all to the left side, only the desire that you discover remains for you on the right side, then, with the help of the two Kelim, you become an expert examiner who begins to examine and clarify. You already can look at everything seriously, understanding what you want to attain. You now search for a true, reciprocal connection in order to fill that space that is discovered in you.
Additionally, this is not that same space that existed then on the small, animate level. Rather, now, this is a space on the level of the Adam (man). You understand and feel this. Through the peeling, you expose the inner space, and then you truly understand what you are truly seeking. This begins to be clarified. You don’t go back to being that little boy or little girl. Rather, you transform into a man or a woman, understanding what you want.
You are searching for a true inner connection, a reciprocal relationship, a desire to fulfill each other where each one thinks about the other and is found within his own space. He wants to be aware of the space and to fill it. He knows what to do in order to penetrate into it and fill it, and the other opens his heart before me and both act reciprocally.
You understand what to do and together you play with the two lines. All the evil that you peeled away from yourselves transforms into shared evil, and even the good transforms into being shared, and then you transform into a single person with both good and bad characteristics. Together, you become a man and a woman connected into a single system.
From a Talk on Integral Upbringing 6/20/13