New Life #601 – The Search For Love
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Summary

Everyone wants love, yet it seems that it is impossible to attain it. Love is connection between the Kli (vessel) and the Light. True love is that I fulfill the other and not myself. It is fulfilling him, not being fulfilled by him.

To achieve love, it is necessary to rise above our ego. This can be in couples or with friends.

“And you shall love your friend as yourself” (Leviticus 19:18): Just as nature created self-love in me, it is up to me to ask for it to build love in me. I want to love others without any personal interest.

“Love covereth all transgressions” (Proverbs 10:12): If a force comes and corrects you, you no longer see defects in others. We will not succeed in achieving true love in relationships as long as we don’t realize the general rule, “And you shall love your friend as yourself” in society.

It is necessary to seek love within us, not partners who are appropriate for what we are missing but the desire to love.

Love is built from concessions, not from each one coming with demands from the other. Love is enjoying concession. A person thinks that if he fulfills himself, if he loves himself, he will achieve happiness. This is erroneous, it is false. It is up to us to learn how to be fulfilled correctly, eternally, and perfectly. This will happen only through love of others.
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From KabTV’s “New Life #601 – The Search For Love,” 7/30/15

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Question: There is no true love in the relations between a man and a woman in our world. How do a man and a woman attain real perfect love in the spiritual world?

Answer: The wisdom of Kabbalah helps us tune in to the understanding of the relationships between men and women. But today, when the world is in such a mess, it is hard to speak about how the wisdom of Kabbalah can have an immediate effect on improving these relations.

If a person believes that the wisdom of Kabbalah immediately will help him buy a house, start a family, live a comfortable life, and turn his life into paradise, I don’t want him to have any false hopes.

Humanity needs to correct itself according to a certain process in order to attain that. In this respect, the fate of Kabbalists isn’t simple since it is the reflection of all of the problems in society. Although a wise, normal, healthy Kabbalist understands how he should manage his life correctly, he constantly encounters problems that he receives from all of humanity. Therefore, his life isn’t easy until all of humanity is corrected.

Question: What should a man and a woman yearn for in order to attain true love?

Answer: They must build a family that is based on accurate Kabbalistic principles, but this is relevant only for people who truly are dedicated to the spiritual path, who understand that they can focus their relationships within the family on the attainment of a spiritual goal.

If they can and are willing to do so and understand that their ego constantly will stand in their way in the family, everywhere, at absolutely every moment, I would give them my blessing since, if that’s so, they are going to discover a wonderful opportunity to enter quickly into the upper world, but they must work in order to attain that.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 1/17/16

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New Life 697 – Laws Of Niddah And Purity
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

We move from one phase to the next when correcting our ego and this is the reason that there is also a special cycle in nature. In this cycle there is the moon, the sun, and the earth, which are branches stemming from spiritual roots, from upper forces.

Once we were one soul and then we were shattered to pieces. Our correction is to connect with love. Every egoistic desire to receive that has not been corrected yet is called a woman, and a corrected desire is called a man, stemming from the Hebrew word to overcome. Different customs in our world are merely a replica of the spiritual states that we have to undergo in the correction of the ego.

Every monthly cycle symbolizes new egoistic desires that come up and demand their correction to bestowal. We count seven clean days after the monthly period, and then the desires are ready to couple with the Upper Light. In spirituality the blood during the monthly period symbolizes the revelation of the Dinim (judgments), which are difficult egoistic desires.

The impure blood and bathing in the Mikva symbolize the receiving of the Light of Hassadim after which it is possible to receive the Light of Hochma, the semen. A man’s soul that has developed from the semen develops in the womb and its nature is a desire to receive. One can receive only if he becomes a conductor, like a pipe, for others. If the Light identifies that a person is clogged, it doesn’t go through him.

The correction is to open one’s self with love. The corrected desire that opened itself for the Light to flow unto others is called a corrected woman in the coupling. Everyone is considered a woman first, and thanks to overcoming the ego, they become men. The seven clean days symbolize the corrected Lights, which are the forces to bestow and to love. The groom the bride is intended to couple with is the general force of love that fills all of reality. At the end, all the cycles and corrections reach the great coupling of the end of correction.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 697 – Laws Of Niddah And Purity,” 3/1/16

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Comment: The authorities in Egypt may forbid women to wear veils and scarves that cover their faces because they claim that they were invented by the Jews.

Answer: The reason is not that. The fact is that now a relatively democratic government is in power in Egypt. They want to cancel various Muslim orthodox traditions as much as possible. So they have taken the opportunity to ban the wearing of veils in public places: at work, theaters, and coffee houses to defeat this trend and free the younger generation from it.

Regarding Jews,  they nourish dislike, to put it mildly, and even hatred, and so they say that the Jews invented the niqab.

Comment: They claim that it is said in the Talmud that if a woman leaves home without covering her head and face, she is violating Jewish religious law.

Answer: I have never seen Jewish women cover their faces. Their heads yes, not only on the street but also in their homes. A covering that leaves only the eyes exposed doesn’t exist in Judaism.

It is worthwhile to note that women wearing veils may appear more attractive. We know from the wisdom of Kabbalah that concealment is something charming, attractive, and bewitching. It is like a courtship, with only big, almond-shaped eyes exposed with beautiful makeup and everything else is covered. So the play of the eyes actually attracts a man more; he is magnetized by those wonderful dark eyes. So instead of concealment derived from modesty and distance, the complete opposite is created.

Question: And what does the Jewish custom of a woman covering the hair on her head symbolize?

Answer: This is a quite another matter. Covering the head is a tradition that comes from higher Kabbalistic sources. A woman’s hair is considered to be unsuitable and inappropriate for a stranger. But this does not apply to unmarried girls because they wore their hair loose all the time. Married women would cut their hair short and wear a scarf over their heads, which was always considered to be a sign of modesty and virtue.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 3/13/16

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New Life 696 – Thank God That He Hasn’t Made Me A Woman
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

Nature has created mankind as two different creatures, a man and a woman, and the wisdom of Kabbalah tells us about their spiritual roots. A man in spirituality is someone who overcomes his ego and a woman is the definition of the ego before it is corrected. When a man overcomes his ego and leaves the power of a woman he blesses the Creator “Thank God that He hasn’t made me a woman.” Everyone is obliged to correct his ego, man or woman, Jew or gentile.

A woman’s modesty is called the egoistic desire to receive that has not been corrected yet, and so it should be hidden. “A king’s daughter’s honor is concealed” means that the Upper Light can enter the corrected desire to receive. The place where the Creator is revealed is called Shechina or bride and the Light with regard to the vessel is called a groom.

Our customs are a kind of a theatrical play hinting as to what the spiritual commandments are that we need to perform. The custom of women covering their head, their hair that symbolizes storms, the egoistic thoughts that need to be covered before they are corrected, and a woman’s modesty in general symbolize the uncorrected desire to receive that needs to be covered, restricted, until it reaches the state of to receive in order to bestow. All the corporeal actions are only customs and not commandments, while the corrections of the desire are commandments, and the force that corrects the 613 egoistic desires inherent in us is called the Light that Reforms.

The Creator is the general force of reality and coupling with Him is when a person can bestow like He does. Then the Upper Light can enter the corrected desire like a groom that couples with the bride. The Light that enters the vessels is such a great pleasure that one can bear it only with the intention of in order to bestow.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 696 – Thank God That He Hasn’t Made Me A Woman,” 3/1/16

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Question: Suppose that infidelity happens in a family, no matter who it is. How does the wisdom of Kabbalah relate to this? Is it necessary to save the family?

Answer: Certainly, the husband and wife should try to understand each other, even though this is difficult and very painful. In spite of that, the family should be maintained.

Both men and women have a tendency toward adventure. It is more egoistic to divorce and leave the children without a united family.

A child suffers more than anyone else from the divorce. So it is worthwhile for both to have patience, go to psychological therapy, understand and agree that all of these situations are part of life.

Question: Among students of the wisdom of Kabbalah, are there immoral people like these?

Answer: There are no immoral people; they are simply egoists in need of correction. The wisdom of Kabbalah is involved with this, but it is slow and gradual. Therefore these days a person is given 70-90 years to live so that he can correct himself.
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From the Webinar on zahav.ru 2/10/16

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Question: Research in the US and Europe shows that one out of five women in big cities does not want to have children. Forty years ago, on the other hand, one out of ten women did not want to have children. What is the reason that the number of women who don’t want to have children has doubled?

Answer: Women have lost the motherly instinct and don’t want to have children. Even if they do, it is only later when they are nearing forty, so that they can enjoy life some more with children.

They take into account the fact that once they have a child they become trapped in obligations for life! It isn’t only financial obligations, but also their commitment to their child. This is simply unacceptable for the growing ego. Today everyone wants to be by himself, totally free, without even having to work. A person is connected to the Internet, he has a smart phone, and people don’t want to be close to anyone. Having a child is an instinctive connection to someone who depends on me and I depend on him.

The moment a woman becomes pregnant, she immediately begins to think only about the life that is being formed inside her and about the fact that she has to totally dedicate herself to it. Her world narrows and all her attention is focused on the embryo that is developing inside her. What’s next? She looks ahead and thinks about spending the rest of her life giving birth, raising, and bring up this creature. Will he live in 100-200 years? No he won’t. He will probably have his own offspring. So why take part in that and dedicate her whole life to that?!

Question: Does she think that a child will deprive her of pleasures in this world?

Answer: Of course, what is more, she feels that a child puts her in prison, that he makes her committed as if he ties her arms and legs and doesn’t allow her to think about anything else but him. The child will be stuck to her and pull all her attention. This is indeed how nature works.

Nature gradually increases a man’s and woman’s ego and allows them not to act automatically as earlier generations did. In the past a woman had to get married very early in life and have children, raise them, build a home, help them with their education, do whatever possible for them, and die. They will cry for her when she is dead, but is this what her life would come down to?!

This is a healthy scrutiny that the ego invokes in her, and she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t care where she will be buried, how, and by whom. She already pays taxes and has different obligations. All she wants is to live and not to owe anything to anyone, and especially not to bury herself while still young.

It is only if a person cares about the goal of creation enough that it obliges him to have a family, to have children, to raise them, and to take care of everything else; he will do it, but only when it is profitable.  .

And it will only be advantageous when he knows that he has to act the way that most people in this world do, which means to have children, to raise them, to care for them, to support them, and to help them stand on their own two feet, in order to attain the goal of creation. At the same time he has to correct himself and thus correct the world too!

When a woman has a child and raises him, she actually makes him perform his correction! This is going to be the only incentive to have children in the future. Otherwise, if at the moment one out of five women doesn’t want to have kids, in a couple of years one out of two women will not want to have children and the world population will diminish to half a billion people.

Question: What can a woman think about the goal of creation in order to have a child in the ideal state?

Answer: Our sufferings force us to find a clear answer to the question about the meaning of life. This is the only goal that a woman should have in order to attain the upper management and to see where nature or the Creator is leading us.

When we discover that, we will reveal how we should behave in every aspect of life in order to attain the eternal upper goal, which is considered upper in relation to our temporary life. Then we will feel the benefit in our ego and will have children, bring them up, and dedicate ourselves to the family.
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 3/2/16

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Question: Who is closer to the wisdom of Kabbalah, men or women?

Answer: Men. Women feel it more instinctively while men must go through it and transfer this knowledge by way of their head, mind, and thoughts.

Their need for correction of the ego is much greater than it is with women. So a woman can study less; she doesn’t need to get up at three o’clock in the morning for a lesson, while this is mandatory for men. That is how nature created us.

The male ego is different from the female ego, it requires a greater correction. Because it deviates from the way, it is torn to pieces.

Women are not inferior to men; their ego is simply earthier in an everyday practical sense. They are more corrected than men. If a woman were managing the world, the world would be better.

Comment: But still, sometimes women are managed by men.

Answer: If they were to take things over everywhere and the men were to go fishing, it would be better for everyone.
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From the Webinar on zahav.ru 2/10/16

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Question: Does the wisdom of Kabbalah have a formula for a happy family life?

Answer: Of course, after all, the wisdom of Kabbalah tells us about the unity of people and the private level of unity is the family.

Question: Do you mean that people who educate society according to the wisdom of Kabbalah can replace family psychologists? After all, preserving the integrity of the family today is a great problem: There are domestic difficulties daily; life isn’t easy, and the nuclear family is starting to fall apart.

Answer: Families are not breaking up because of the daily troubles but because it is in the interest of industrialists, advertisers, and the like. While a couple needs one apartment, a divorced couple needs two apartments. Today’s global economy is interested in having more consumers, and divorce doubles the number of consumers. Moreover, the elite don’t need millions of people who procreate.

Comment: But the industrialists also live in families.

Answer: They are merely 1% of the world’s population and have no need for all the rest. Why do they need seven billion people! As far as they are concerned it is better to reduce the world’s population even without wars by simply reducing procreation. Thus they will be able to cut down the world’s population by half during one generation.

Question: Does the wisdom of Kabbalah know how to keep the family together?

Answer: It isn’t simple. The wisdom of Kabbalah gradually tells people how to interact with each other correctly.

Comment: I heard in one of your lectures that if one partner studies the wisdom of Kabbalah while the other partner is far from it, they don’t have many chances of keeping the family together.

Answer: Of course there are problems. If one partner is greatly interested in life on the spiritual level and the other is interested in life on the corporeal level, there are disagreements and conflicts and they feel that they have different impulses. But even then no one says that they should get divorced. On the contrary, it is necessary to keep the family together no matter what.

We try to do it by any means. I understand that it isn’t easy today. Still, it is better to keep the family together, especially if there are kids. First, I am against divorce. And second, one should somehow interest his or her partner and make it understood that you have a dream, something that you are really interested in. The right thing to do is to interest your partner in your field of interest, since by studying the wisdom of Kabbalah, a person begins to discover the real meaning of life.

Everyone is interested in this matter to some extent.
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From the Webinar on zahav.ru 2/10/16

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Dear Women!

You are a very important part of humanity!  It is through the connection between man and woman that man actually discovered the Creator. We all know that we wouldn’t have fallen from the Garden of Eden into the temporary life on earth if it hadn’t been for the woman. Now thanks to our being here, we can re-ascend to what is called The Garden of Eden but to a much, much higher level than the one we fell from.

The wisdom of Kabbalah tells us about what we attain when we ascend to the Garden of Eden after the sin of the “Tree of Knowledge,” which was committed by the woman. Everything is fulfilled according to a predetermined script: we ascend 125 levels higher than the level we were on in the past.

Therefore, we must first thank the woman for bringing us down to the earth so we would actually be able to acquire a greater upper spiritual level. Secondly, when Abraham first discovered the Creator he was told: “Listen to what Sarah tells you.” We also have three matriarchs: Rachel, Rebecca, and Leah who were all great prophetesses.

Throughout history since the destruction of the Second Temple to our very days, women were the basis that holds, nurtures, and sustains the people. The Torah says: “a woman is a home,” and so she is the foundation and the basis of all the people.

Today women precede men in their yearning for the goal of creation, the wisdom of Kabbalah, and the attainment of the Creator, and are ready to do everything heroically and with great dedication in order to bring the nation to the upper attainment.

I therefore thank you for your tremendous valuable investment that cannot even be measured in the development of humanity and the development of the wisdom of Kabbalah. Thank you for preparing us for the spiritual ascent. It is a special gift that you give us every day, us men and all of humanity. We should constantly be grateful for that and not only on March 8th, Women’s Day.

Good luck, good health, and higher spiritual attainment for all of us!
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From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 3/6/16

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