Question: Are the souls divided according to gender?

Answer: The souls indeed are divided according to gender like the bodies in our world. Only simple types of organisms can function simultaneously as a male and as a female.

In fact, everything begins from plus and minus, from positive and negative, even on the atomic level. After all, the universe was created and began to expand after the Big Bang, when a small spark of Light penetrated our world from the upper level.

This spark began to generate positive and negative elements of nature like electrons, protons, neutrons, and so on. Consequently, all of nature is built on pairs of opposites where one cannot exist without the other. At the same time, there is no struggle between them, which we may want to see in our world for egoistic reasons only, and everything is made of the right mutual connection between pairs of opposites.

Therefore, we shouldn’t think that someone is good and someone is bad. We should understand that our evolution, our progress, and our very existence wouldn’t be possible without the right mutual cooperation between men and women.

So, there is no room for wars between the sexes. There cannot be a plus without a minus, a positive force without a negative force, or the north pole of a magnet without its south pole. Every part of nature is built according to its specific oppositeness because it cannot exist otherwise.

When nature mutually cooperates with all of its inner forces, we evolve harmoniously as everything is built on the harmony between two states, systems, poles, and the opposite forces that exist in it.
[182905]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 3/6/16

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Question: What is the woman’s role in the man’s spiritual development?

Answer: If a man truly and seriously advances in spirituality, he needs the help of a woman, just as a woman needs the help of a man. They try to realize mutual completion at all times.

Notably, mutual completion is much more important in the spiritual connection than in the physical one. While in the corporeal world, we give birth to the next generation, in the spiritual connection, we give birth to souls. This is very important mutual cooperation. It is so important that until lately, it was forbidden for a man to study the wisdom of Kabbalah unless he was married. It was considered that he can realize himself only if he is married.

Question: This means that a man cannot attain spirituality without a woman, and a woman without a man?

Answer: Yes, the two systems should be balanced, but it doesn’t mean that they must be husband and wife.

Today, the world is undergoing a transitional process from the state of total ignorance regarding the wisdom of Kabbalah to returning to it and using it for our needs. Because the wisdom of Kabbalah has been concealed from people for many years, they don’t understand it yet.

This is the reason that it is so difficult for us to explain how the wisdom of Kabbalah can play a special role in creating harmony between the two sexes. After all, our world is meant to attain harmony, balance between all of its levels and between them and the upper world, and this is impossible without the fulfillment of the wisdom of Kabbalah.

We can use the wisdom of Kabbalah to help us establish the right family relations, to educate our kids correctly, and to establish good relations between families, between people, between nations, and between all of humanity and nature. The order and balance will be attained only by studying the wisdom of Kabbalah that shows us how it can be done. Otherwise, we disrupt the balance in the entire universe, in the world and in nature.
[182922]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 3/6/16

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Question: In the spiritual world, can a man be a woman and a woman be a man?

Answer: In the spiritual world, a person is composed both of a male and a female parts. The male part is the attribute of bestowal, which also has to be in a woman, and the female part is the attribute of reception, which has to be in a man as well.

The Creator is portrayed by the male since He has only one attribute: the attribute of bestowal. In relation to the Creator, all of us are like females, the feminine part.
[183036]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 3/6/16

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Adam And Eve Return To The Garden Of Eden

Question: What weapon would a man and woman use in a war against each other?

Answer: In this war, a man and woman use a wide range of weapons, starting with the courts, prisons, police, and public censure, including relatives and children, until they reach the last resort: clarifying the relationship in the bedroom.

But the fact is today we are running away from this war, and we don’t want to engage in it. Therefore, young people don’t want to have a family, or they marry at a very late age. We aren’t dependent on the family as much as before because the government and society provide support to families and partially compensate for things that a man was supposed to give.

A woman with modern household appliances requires less of a man’s physical strength and depends on him less, and the man depends less on the woman because he has a microwave and ready-to-cook food. Men and women are drifting apart more and more.

Therefore, if we still want to save the family and the correct form of human existence, we must reach such a connection between a man and a woman when the Shechina, the upper force of the nature, is revealed between them.

For this, we need a special education that would teach us to connect or at least to begin getting closer to each other. Nowadays, a physical gap has emerged between men and women, and precisely here, integral education must intervene, begin reducing the gap, and bring the opposite sides closer.

We need to explain to men and women how much they are losing because of their separation and how much they can gain through the correct connection, and teach them how to reach it. When we are connected correctly the Shechina is revealed between us, which is absolutely a different level, a sense of life that is called heaven. Adam and Eve return to the Garden of Eden!

If we don’t do it, we will miss not only the opportunity to live in heaven, but all of this life in general because no one is satisfied with it.

Question: Would couples that live as if in heaven still wage war with each other?

Answer: They will not fight because they will complete each other above all of the evil revealed. Love will cover all transgressions.
[182444]
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 3/31/16

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Battle In The Kitchen

Question: Why do men and women always argue with each other?

Answer: Because we don’t understand that we are created differently precisely in order to complete one another. Instead of solving this problem, we run away from it like kids. As a result, the problem grows and pressures us so much that family starts to fall apart.

We are moving away from each other and don’t want to marry and have children. We hide from solving the problem because we don’t know how to solve it and don’t realize that this is the main thing we need to do. If we would reach a solution and complete each other, we would come to eternal and perfect life. These are not just nice words. At least we would feel perfection in our earthy existence in this world, heaven right here and now.

But now, instead of completing each other, we are at war, wishing to take control the opposite sex. Our egoism doesn’t allow us anything else even if we love our partner.

Perhaps I am ready to bow and accept the authority of my spouse but only on condition that she understands how to be in charge of me. It has a special joy like a child basking in its mother’s hands.

Question: What do a man and woman want to win in this war of the sexes?

Answer: They are both egoists and wish by all means to take authority over the opposite side. A woman wants a man to serve her and a man wants the same from a woman. Only each of them expresses it in a different form. A man demands to have all necessary things at home because woman is home. And a woman demands a man to think about her all the time, to be completely devoted to her as if she is the queen of the world.

This is a simple earthly egoistic psychology that every couple follows, from the most loving to the most unsuccessful. In fact, in every case, they are two egoists that find themselves on the same territory, and so they fight with each other.

They must be connected with each other; they are bound by common children, property, and social status, and therefore each of them constantly fights for his independence in the family only in a different form. A woman likes to be dependent on a man, but she also expects that he will be endlessly devoted to her and be around her all the time.

This desire is impossible to fulfill. A woman wants a man to constantly fill her, meaning to think and take care of her, her children, the house, and for all his life to be devoted only to taking care of the family nest. And a man is ready to take care of it to some extent, but, at the same time, he wants to feel independent and not so bound, as the woman demands. And here naturally the conflict arises.

A man wants a woman to be devoted to the children and the house, and to take care of her husband as much as possible, without restricting his freedom.
[182384]
From KabTV’s “A New Life” 3/31/16

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A Man And Woman Return To The Garden Of Eden

Question: Is the war between men and women going on in order to eventually bring us to the complete mutual complement?

Answer: One can’t exist without another. Initially the Creator created a man and a woman, two forces, plus and minus, in order for us to complement each other. We can’t exist without each other. But we ourselves need to implement this mutual complement and all of life is concentrated on it.

If we didn’t have to build a connection between us, there would be no need to live on this planet. The meaning of life is to learn to connect in the perfect ideal form because by making up for each other we reach a perfect state, as it is said: “A man and a woman and Shechina between them.”

It means that the upper force is revealed between them, but only on the condition that this man and woman correctly unite with each other.

It is not about a particular man and woman, but about these concepts as a collective image that includes all male and all female qualities. When correctly connected to each other, they precisely, in this form, reveal the upper force, the upper complete and eternal life.

Through this it becomes apparent that we are facing the most tremendous central problem and that the whole world was created with it in order for us to solve it. And through this solution we will understand a solution for the whole of reality.

But most of the time we try to run away from this game because we don’t understand what to do with it. Everyone in his private life, in his family, tries to mask this conflict as if everything is in order. While inside the family relationship hides an abyss of problems.

We don’t even know what the ideal relationship between a man and woman is. We are so opposite to each other that a lifetime will not be enough to fulfill all requests of the opposite sex. And a man, in general, is not adapted to understand a woman and doesn’t want to meet her halfway. And here should come the correction.

Also a woman in her requests of a man can be so annoying and demanding, as she feels her dependency on him, that possibly this as well requires correction. Not in terms of distancing from him but in reconstructing her demand into a different form regarding the goal that she doesn’t yet have.

Question: Throughout all of history women try to reach some kind of balance in the relationship with men and therefore are fighting for their independence and equality. Does each side need to reach independence in order to connect with each other afterward?

Answer: In this way we grow apart from each other and run away from solving the problem. It is becoming fashionable to be unisex and to neglect the family. We don’t want to understand that through connection between us we can reach absolute eternal special life. Instead of it, we perceive this connection as a problem we need to run away from by all means. As a result, in the modern world we have a lot of single men and women. We meet whenever we feel like it, doesn’t matter when, how, and with whom. We seemingly lower the importance of the connection between men and women to sex, limiting it to only the satisfaction of sexual needs.

But this is totally wrong. After all, there needs to be a system of sensory, emotional relationships that turns us into one soul through mutual complementation. It means it has to be on the totally different level, not on the animate degree, which is based on bodily needs.

I don’t deny necessity of the sexual relationship—a normal human being can’t do without it. But we need to raise the connection between a man and woman to the level of souls so that the Shechina, the upper force, will dwell between them. We have to unite for this goal because only through the correct connection between us can we attain heavenly life.

Initially in the Garden of Eden, the man and woman were as one, the way the Creator created them. But then the Creator banished them from heaven by distancing them from each other and therefore they descended from the Garden of Eden to our world where each one exists separately.

Now if we correctly connect with each other in order to be with one heart, we will rise back to the Garden of Eden, to the state where we will feel our life as eternal and complete!

This is precisely the way to heaven. I don’t understand why people think that there are different methods to get there. Humanity is deeply mistaken thinking that it can reach heaven by performing religious traditions. We have to build correct relationships here on this planet, and precisely through them, as it is written in the Torah, we will return back to heaven.

What is the Garden of Eden? It is a man and a woman who again became one human being, living in one joint desire, inside which dwells the upper force, the Creator.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 3/31/16

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Freedom And Instincts

Question: The war of the sexes is the most fascinating battle that a person starts from early childhood.

At the age of 5-7 years, we already see a big difference between boys and girls; confrontations and conflicts start between these two groups, and on the other hand, they feel attraction.

How can we explain this game that continues throughout life?

Answer: Man is the most flawed and miserable part of nature. After all, all of inanimate nature, plants, and animals behave according to the instincts acting within them. Lion and lioness or elephant and elephant cow don’t question how to behave with each other.

Everything is clear to them and everything happens according to the laws of nature that control them. Each one knows what it needs to do and acts in this framework. Their life is much simpler than a human’s.

But man is left the freedom of action, since it is at a higher level of development than animals. Man can decide by himself what the correct relationship between a man and woman should be, as well as many other forms of behavior and attitudes toward society, nature, the upper force, and our whole life in general. All this doesn’t bother animals and not even humans when they are not very developed.

But developed people think about it and, when establishing relationships, must act artificially instead of following instincts. It is essential to study the nature of man and woman and to be aware of our current state as well as the final state that we have to reach.

Based on this we by ourselves need to build such a system of relations between men and women for mutual replenishment that nature itself would have created if it were dealing with it.

For this we have a lot to learn. It is impossible to resolve it ourselves without knowing the deepest laws of nature, human nature, and the ultimate goal of his evolution. It is necessary to comprehend the nature of men and women, to find out why we are the way we are and not different, and what forms of mutual relations we need to reach. It is obvious that we need to make up for each other.

But it doesn’t look like people understand this. Psychology of men and women is a young field of research in its infancy. And besides, we do not know anything at all about the general nature and an inner psychology of person: my view of the world, myself, my life and perspective.

We do not see and cannot imagine a future image of men or women, what will they be in a hundred or thousand years. It is necessary for us to know what the ideal relationship between men and women should be in every moment on the time axis. But we do not have any idea about it.

And so we can’t give our children a proper education on this subject without knowing what to tell them. In school curriculums this most important subject is also absent. All this brings disorder in our lives and many disappointments, problems, even tragedies. It is obvious that such education is necessary, and the wisdom of Kabbalah could provide invaluable help here.
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From KabTV’s “A New Life” 3/31/16

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New Life 708 – Sexual Domination
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz

In the past rulers used to demonstrate their power by the number of women they had, and thus showed their domination and ownership. There is a “big ape” in every man wanting to show that there are many females by his side and that he is virile enough for all of them.

A woman naturally devotes herself to the male who has intercourse with her, but a man doesn’t. This is the reason that a woman has a sign of virginity. A dominant male aspires to own the woman by sexual relations he has with her, leaving an impression in her, and the child that she has will bear the impression of every man with which she has sexual intercourse.

Only the right education can build new relations between men and women and make them equal without having one dominate the other. A man naturally feels that all the women in the world are potentially for him and a man and a woman can only be equal if they both aspire for the same sublime goal of revealing the upper force. Such an aspiration will make them enjoy the spiritual coupling, the perfect internal connection that will create a state called the Garden of Eden (paradise) between them.

A woman should show the man that she expects him to function correctly spiritually and then he will advance exactly to that goal.

The third factor that joins the spiritual relationship is the upper force, the force of the attribute of love and bestowal that dwells above them. We think that the pleasure is in the sexual relations between the bodies, but in fact it is in the connection between the souls. The feeling of the force of true love that every person aspires for is called the feeling of the Garden of Eden.

Inside every man there is an “ape” looking at a woman through a desire to dominate her. At the peak of his evolutions this “ape” will want to be a human being, to resemble the upper force, and then he will use all the female and male power in the universe and will spiritually couple them.
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From KabTV’s “New Life 708 – Sexual Domination,” 3/31/16

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Question: Why must a Kabbalist have a family?

Answer: First and foremost, it is obligatory for every Kabbalist to have a family because concern for a family shapes a person.

In the wisdom of Kabbalah, it is said, what does a person get when he marries? He gets one more egoistic desire. So, when a person gets married, he has two egoistic desires, and he can now safely engage in the wisdom of Kabbalah.

It is up to us to be like our higher roots where Zeir Anpin and Malchut are, between whom all of the corrections happen, the birth of new Partzufim and new souls. The same thing is found here in our world as well. So, it is obligatory to get married. We must give birth to and raise children to develop. The next generation continues through us. In fact, they are us, but in a new form.

Question: When a woman appears in the life of a man, he thinks about her more than about the Creator; so he feels discomfort, fear, and distance from the Creator. How is it possible to balance the two?

Answer: A man must divide his life clearly and precisely into two parts. What is God’s is His, and what is man’s is his, to the divine what belongs to Him, and to man what belongs to him. In other words, everything that belongs to the body belongs to the body, and everything that belongs to the soul belongs to the soul. A man must work, carry out household chores, dedicate some time to his wife and children, and commit to allocating a specific time for this. However, most of his time he must dedicate to the purpose of life, the development of the soul.

The main thing is that he must prepare a schedule and divide his time. If a person uses time correctly, he will begin to see that the proper division of his forces will lead him toward the goal.
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From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 1/31/16

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Question: Why do you tell your students: “A student must talk with his wife 15 minutes a day”?

Answer: I would like you to answer me. What kind of couple talks about their relationship or talks to each other for more than 15 minutes a day in general? Most of the time a woman asks her husband to talk, but her husband refuses. This is because he thinks that this is “feminine vanity.”

When I call for my students to speak with their wives for 15 minutes a day, I mean that they should specifically talk about their relationship, talk about strengthening their familial relationship, not about home economics. This is a Mitzva (commandment) that nobody maintains!

Generally I am not surprised about the opposition to what I am saying. The human ego looks for various opportunities to denounce and criticize the wisdom of Kabbalah and Kabbalists, justifying its empty existence!
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