Women have achieved a lot in this world because they took upon themselves the functions of upbringing and education. They almost unnoticeably came to the forefront and, as they say, “spin the world.”

And men were originally created by nature in such a way that they must fulfill women’s desires. But when this goes to the detriment of correct interaction between men and women, the world takes the form that we see.

Comment: Today everything happens precisely in the opposite way. A woman makes  a career believing that she is bestowing more, and a man is kind of a receiving side.

My Response: Today we are at such an intermediate stage where we have not yet figured out who we are and what we are. We are moving from the old world to a new one and everything is changing very quickly.

At this stage, we must understand that we have wandered into a wrong place, destroyed natural animal foundations, broken away from them, and followed our egoism that guided us to the wrong place.

There are two properties in nature: bestowal and reception. We only chased reception and misused it. Our egoism, which is developing and pressing on us in every generation, has led us to a common global crisis.

This crisis includes education, upbringing, family, interactions between a man and a woman, between children, all our social relations: the state, the world, ecology, economy, science, culture, and so on.

It will simply not work, and we will have to solve this. And then it will lead us to understanding why all this has happened and what we should do next.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Question: Today, all the rules of human social behavior completely replace each other. A man prefers to stay at home and do housework and a woman realizes herself in a career. Why is this happening?

Answer: Because we are developing incorrectly. The upbringing of the sexes has changed. Boys are raised by women, which is wrong.

Boys should be raised by men, because a child grows up by example. And when he is next to his mother, he revolves around her skirt all the time, and then the teacher in the nursery, in the kindergarten, the teacher in the school is by his side, then everything he learns is from a female, served by a woman.

Therefore, a man prefers to stay at home, raise children; he lacks that base, that attitude to the world, to life, which a real man should have. Today we do not even understand what it is. The whole world is like that—half-female.

I am not saying this as a reproach. It is just our omission. Both sexes must be educated so that they feel their opposite and know how to properly complement each other. And this is not happening.

If a child is brought up by women all the time, then he has no masculine basis, no understanding of his strength, his own peculiarity, his own fulfillment of some female properties, needs, requests. This is a big problem.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Comment: A major trend in the world today is loneliness. A minister for loneliness has already been appointed in England and now a minister for loneliness has been appointed in Japan.

Irina writes to us: “What a terrible loneliness! How I came to this, I don’t understand. I was always friendly, open, and suddenly—alone! Empty home, empty heart, the phone is silent. And I do not want to call anyone. So lonely that I have no strength! And so much loneliness around me! How can we live alone?”

My Response: You cannot. Were you to create a club for the lonely, they would not go there anyway.

Question: I wonder why? It is true, she and everyone else sit at home for some reason. You must seek them out, ministries must be built for them. It is a problem!

Answer: The fact is that no ministers will help here, no decisions from above, from governments, will help. These are just pretenses to show that we care for the lonely. It will not help in any way.

People realize that they cannot find the meaning of life in marriage. They cannot find the meaning of life in work, and naturally, not in friendship. Not in anything. So what is the point? Why should I get out of bed in the morning? There is no reason, no stimulus for moving, thinking, talking, or doing anything at all. The world freezes as a result.

And what is the point? Only if we discover the meaning of life, which is above this state. Only if we somehow manage to tell others about it, to show it, to shake people up and awaken them. Otherwise, frankly, it will all end with someone selling pills that will put you to sleep forever.

And people will buy them. No doubt! They will gladly take a pill with a sip of water, lie down, and that’s it. What happens afterward doesn’t matter.

Comment: This does not sound very logical. If a man feels bad, he would logically start looking.

My Response: And what can he do if he does not see any way out? Why live?

Question: And connecting with others, at least some kind of connection?!

Answer: They gather in some clubs, but that ends too.

Question: This is not the solution?

Answer: Of course not.

Question: That is, until a person penetrates into the meaning of life.  Is this happening now and that is why we see this trend?

Answer: Yes. A person has to break through a barrier that manifests itself in complete apathy toward everything. Only then can he discover a whole new life. That is, in a way, it is death. Passing through this barrier, we discover that there is another life, a different kind, and now I can start living it.

A person must realize, agree with, and want to give up this life—this constant egoistic pursuit of something. Once he agrees with this in some form, then he is ready for the next life.

Question: What is your advice to a lonely person who feels all alone to the point of a dire need in his soul?

Answer: My advice: go to our website and read. There is nothing else that I could recommend. From the bottom of my heart, I would prefer not to say this, but I cannot offer anything else.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/22/21

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Question: What research is Kabbalah based on when it speaks of the relationship between a man and a woman?

Answer: I believe that not a single science except Kabbalah has the basis to talk about a man, a woman, their relationship, their nature, where they come from, why they were created in this way and exist in this relationship.

All this comes from the fact that Kabbalah opens up to us in the upper world, in our roots. Based on them, we can already talk about something.

Why does the Torah say: in the beginning, one man was created and then he was divided in two? Why are there two genders and not one creature that either reproduces or does not reproduce at all? All this is revealed by the science of Kabbalah.

It explores our spiritual roots, that is, the forces from which the spiritual worlds gradually developed. In the process of their development, these forces descended, and then a very small spark, the energy of the spiritual world, burst into the volume of the then empty universe and began to create matter in it: stars, galaxies, nebulae, planets, until, in the end, it created the Earth. So life began to develop on our planet.

These processes are studied in Kabbalah. And if we are talking about the end of creation, which goes from top to bottom, then a man, a woman, their historical development, their relationship with each other, and what they have come to today, all this comes from the same spiritual roots. Therefore, asking a question about the relationship between a man and a woman on the earthly level, we cannot understand the answer.

And although I have great respect for psychologists, sociologists, sexologists, and other scientists, I can say that they have only small fragmentary knowledge from observations in our world, which are constantly changing and contradicting each other. And Kabbalah answers this from a single root.

But the problem is that Kabbalah was hidden until now because the world did not yet have suitable conditions for people to start practicing it. They did not have any need for it.

Therefore, for a long time, Kabbalah did not develop attached to our world. Only now is it starting to be engaged in it.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Question: According to Kabbalah, what is the main difference in the nature of male and female parts?

Answer: Absolutely everything. There is nothing more opposite in nature than a man and a woman. Moreover, this difference increases all the time; it first begins to manifest in inanimate objects, even in minerals, then in plants, even more in animals, and even more in humans.

That is, a developed man and woman, if they are really highly developed as personalities, represent the most opposite elements of creation. There can be nothing alike in them. Therefore, it is very difficult for them to come to some kind of agreement, they simply do not understand each other and cannot in any way get closer to be in likeness to each other.

Question: That is, all their attempts to understand each other’s view of the world, in principle, fail?

Answer: In the end, yes. We see that we are gradually entering a big crisis: children leave home, parents get divorced, they cannot bear each other, a person hates himself.

He not only cannot get along with the opposite sex, but he also has all sorts of abnormal drives and realization of sexual needs. In general, gender, marriage, family, and children, all this in our time is beginning to literally crumble and get out of control of previous laws and conditions.

Therefore, there is a Kabbalistic methodology that explains how we can really come to unity. It is a whole system of knowledge.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Question: Why do men and women today not want any obligations to each other?

Answer: Why? In the past cycles of life, I was born with a new egoism, much greater than in the previous cycles. Selfishness in a person grows every day, every minute, and therefore we develop. We are constantly creating something new in the world, pushing forward in science, art, culture, building new relationships, making revolutions. Animals do not have this; their egoism is constant. Take an animal five hundred years ago and today, they are practically the same thing.

If you take a person of the previous and today’s generations, there is a huge difference. Our children no longer understand us. Even if we compare ourselves with ten years ago and today, we will not understand each other.

The egoistic foundation, which is changing in us all the time and requires developing ourselves in search of fulfillment, is qualitatively different. For example, in past generations we lived in what is called the animal state—as we were born, this is how we should be.

Let us say I was born into the family of a plowman, blacksmith, tailor, or shoemaker. This means that I will also inherit my father’s occupation, his tools, and even his clothes, I will build a house nearby, I will marry the daughter of a neighbor.

Everything fits. A man felt that he needed it and it helped him. He felt, this is my framework, it provides for me, it protects me. He felt good.

I remember even my grandparents did not have any marriage registration. They were married according to the national custom, they made a chuppah, and that was all. Then, when my grandfather died, and it was necessary to rewrite the acts of civil status, they took several witnesses, the same old people, and they testified that they were husband and wife.

Marriage was not a human obligation. It was a natural environment of communication for him. He created around himself his home, his family, his yard, his garden, next to his parents, some kind of community, city, maybe even a country, state, and so on.

That is, a person at that time wanted to create some kind of shell around himself in which he could exist. This is how an animal acts by creating protective systems around itself. But suddenly, over the 20th century, we broke this framework and began to move from the animal level of development to the human one. It was said in Kabbalah several thousand years ago that such a revolution would take place in the 20th century.

A person is one who does not tolerate any frameworks, he must get out of them. Therefore, a new culture, science, relationships in the family and in society appear. Now, all are equal, there are no boundaries, I do not listen to anyone. Man is trying to break free from everything. Even going into space is the realization of our desire to go into a higher state, into the outer dimension.

Although we still do not feel it, this is the direction of man’s aspiration, to go beyond the framework of our life, those seventy years in which we exist. They constrain me, I see the beginning and the end, and therefore this whole life is like a prison. I have to find something higher, outside of this life.

If a person does not reach the answer to the questions: why and what for?, then he neglects everything else. For him, everything else is no longer important. Exist as easily as possible, and that is all.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Question: What, according to Kabbalah, is the goal that can seal a marriage between a man and a woman?

Answer: Universal harmony, which can be achieved if you know how to cope with your nature and with the world around us. We are not only at odds with each other but also with it. Given the disruption of the environment and everything that is happening around us, we are heading toward destruction.

We need to learn from nature the correct interconnection, the so-called homeostasis, when everything is balanced; all parts of nature are harmoniously connected between each other, and we are its integral part.

And we, on the contrary, have separated ourselves from nature, put ourselves above it saying that we can do whatever we want. As a result, we destroy ourselves and our environment. We are like a cancerous tumor devouring everything around us and ourselves.

Question: Are all these phenomena: unwillingness to marry, surrogacy, selling stem cells of an unborn baby, the result of the development of our unrestrained egoism?

Answer: Yes. And not only that. We need to completely rebuild ourselves. But this is possible only when the entire nature is revealed to man. Today we see only a small fragment of our world.

We do not see where we are coming from and where we are going, we do not see the overall nature, we do not know where events are coming from, what will happen in a minute. I do not see the forces that control me. I see that humanity is evolving. But how?

Thoughtlessly; it is unclear how. So I need to find out what nature requires of me. When I perceive the whole perspective, when I begin to understand all these forces, the whole program, then I will think reasonably.

Therefore, Kabbalah is called “the secret science” because it reveals the hidden part of the world to us. As soon as we begin to see it, we will do the right thing. The main thing is to see.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Question: It is important for a woman to have something of her own. And a man no longer tolerates any framework. Why?

Answer: A woman also goes beyond her boundaries. Previously, the main thing for her was the house, family, children, and a husband. She did not even have to leave the house.

Question: Is it possible that the environment forced her to do this?

Answer: No, no one forced her to do anything. This is truly so. If a woman has children, and everything is normal in the family, then this is the right existence for her.

Today, she does not receive any fulfillment from her children, her husband, or her family. A person still has to exist for something, one must receive pleasure. Therefore, a woman, not feeling fulfilled, goes out into the outside world, I would say, from despair, from not getting satisfaction in the family.

Comment: Studies say that married women have a very unstable psyche. They are forced to constantly consult a psychologist.

My Response: This is terrible. A woman is created for a family and children. This has always been the case, especially in the Jewish community where they took care that no girl was left without a groom, so that the couple always had at least some living wage. This is actually commanded to us.

The duty of society is not to leave a woman alone, but to create for her the environment for which she was created by nature. Therefore, a very important social function was matchmaking, guardianship, and care for young couples. Society did not leave it on the parents’ shoulders only.

Matchmaking is not just an interesting profession, but a solution to a very wide range of social problems. This institution of care has been going on since ancient times, it is already thousands of years old. It is based on very serious motives—not to leave a single person without him being inside his properly built family, within which he should exist.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Comment: Today, people do not want any obligations to each other and therefore do not marry.

My Response: A person is an egoist. If he understood that marriage would really fill him and was created so that he could give and receive in marriage, he would see that there is nothing better.

But for this, a form of communication needs to be created so that a man is fulfilled from his wife, children, and family so that he has exactly such needs, qualities, desires that are not artificially changed s o that he is forced to run away in the evenings somewhere to clubs, bars.

It’s the same with a woman. She must be determined to create for her family, her husband, and her children the conditions from which she herself would enjoy. Therefore, appropriate education is needed here. It doesn’t matter that we’ve become more egoistic. Bigger egoism, in fact, should take us to the next level.

We must educate boys and girls properly, teach them how to interact with each other, and not give them only lessons about sex in schools. It turns out that we are just teaching animals the correct sexual relationships, but we do not teach people how to be properly connected with each other, to understand and complement each other.

If we don’t give them that education, the next generation will be miserable. They will come to some mechanical interaction, to something incomprehensible.

Kabbalah says that everything in nature is built on replenishment, on harmony. This replenishment depends on understanding each other’s nature.

I remember when I was in the first year of the institute, we had a professor Svyadoshch Avraam Moiseevich. He took us to different hospitals for surgeries to show us the extreme conditions that people are in immediately after an accident, during a difficult birth, or after a heart transplant.

And we, eighteen or nineteen-year-old boys, were very shaken up by it. When we first came out of the maternity hospital, it was a shock: How difficult it is to give birth, how much blood, how much pain. We almost cried, looking at the women in labor. Our attitude to many things changed. We began to treat even the girls in our group differently.

Based on what I have experienced, I would take all school children to hospitals, maternity hospitals, and morgues to explain and show children what life means, when you go through all the states from birth through various problems, injuries, death, up to the cemetery,  all this is necessary. And I would do this with a very serious preliminary preparation, so that the children would not have psychological trauma. This is how an understanding and adult attitude to life is built.
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From KabTV’s “Close-Up. Common Law Marriage” 8/11/09

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Question: Several hundred years ago, women did not have any rights. These rights exist today. Do you think this is correct?

Answer: It is the responsibility of the state to give everyone the opportunity to realize themselves for the benefit of society. This is what Kabbalah thinks.

Nature has made us different. Everyone has one’s own functions, one’s own abilities. You can’t do anything about it. Equality is not an equalization, but a complement to each other. The harmony of society is achieved exactly by complementing.

Question: So equality does not mean getting the same salary, wearing the same clothes, etc.?

Answer: No. We must maximally extract from each person the realization of their potential that they can give to society. It doesn’t matter if it’s a cook or the head of a state. If each of them does what he can and gives it for the good of society, then they are equal. From the point of view of Kabbalah, they are entitled to the same thing.
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From KabTV’s “Spiritual States” 4/29/19

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