Comment: From a letter:
Dear Michael Laitman, I am asking for your advice. We raised our children, gave them everything, and they disappeared and do not even call. They are not in our life. My husband started developing dementia. I take care of him by myself, I literally fall down  from exhaustion. I have no strength anymore. Our children are gone, our children have abandoned us.

Why are they so ungrateful? What did we do wrong? Why couldn’t we instill some basic respect for us in them?

My Response: We are not talking about basic respect. Maybe children are somewhere far away, busy with something, they have families, they have everything. But old people demand care and attention. I mean, I understand both parents and children.

The modern world is not made in such a way that we live together as several generations under one roof. Even children do not get attention, let alone the elderly. I do not expect anything else from the world. In no way.

Perhaps it will happen so that people will work half a day, and they will have a lot of time and will really devote part of it to parents, part to children, and part to themselves.

Question: Are you saying that we need to understand our children who are distancing from us with their families?

Answer: We ourselves have prepared such a life for them.

Comment: But this is not exactly how we lived; I remember that.

My Response: We did not live like that because we were in a different world.

Comment: By the way, you yourself have always said that it is good when three generations live together.

My Response: It was so, but now it is impossible. So, let’s stop talking about fantasies.

Question: Then the question about the future is: what will we come to in this way?

Answer: We will come to the point that we will have to really rebuild this world in order to make it more human.

Comment: You are still in favor of these good human relations one way or another.

My Response: Everyone should understand what they have to create, what kind of world they want to see. But, of course, this will not happen today or tomorrow yet.

Question: What should enter a person? What kind of world should he want to create?

Answer: A person must be imbued with desire, compassion, love, and concern about others. About others in general and not only about their relatives.

When he understands this whole system we all have to participate in, then together with others, with strangers, he will be able to create such systems of interaction, support for infants, children, youth, and so on, up to the elderly and all others where everyone feels good.

Question: You have just said a key phrase. You said that a person should understand in general this system in which we exist. Then will everything start falling into place for him?

Answer: Yes, of course.

Comment: This is the most important moment! We do not understand this strategically.

My Response: No, we cannot depict this picture for ourselves.

Comment: We can say that the world is interconnected, but we do not imagine this picture. But the world is like that.

My Response: The world is like that.

Comment: And these connections are good ones.

My Response: These connections are good, and they do not end in this world! They continue in the next world! Therefore, in addition, we must understand where we are and how we are included in each other, where such a combinatoric takes place between us that we cannot escape anywhere, we need to have a good attitude to each other all the time.

Question: I am leaving and coming back, I am leaving again and I am coming back. Does all this take place in this system?

Answer: Yes, everything is in this system. This is called that there is no death, as it were,  and everything is infinity.

Comment: This is beautiful! I wish people would understand this!

My Response: There is no need, this is very hard.

Question: But will we come to this understanding?

Answer: Yes. But we have to be ready for it, and on the other hand, we have to be ready to do it and understand that it will be better for us. We should not look at it as a huge responsibility.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/31/23

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Question: “What is unconditional love? How and why does it harm both parents and children?”

Answer: It is because absolute love does not educate children. Children must understand that there are certain conditions for the manifestation of love. And parents should also feel some kind of reciprocity from their children: right-wrong, correct-incorrect, toward themselves-away from themselves, and so on, so that there would be some kind of correct contacts, mutual contacts between them. And not just “I love you” and that is all.

There may be such an attitude toward a baby but not between adults. Even when children are growing up there should be mutual relations built on attraction and rejection, the carrot and the stick. Children must understand that they are permitted to behave in a certain way and not allowed to behave in another way, that there is reward and punishment.

Question: So when it is said that a child was brought up in love, grew up in love, what does this mean in your opinion?

Answer: In my opinion, a child grows in love when he understands what he is rewarded for and what he is punished for. That is called in love.

Question: And if it is in absolute love?

Answer: In absolute love a child will be crippled. He will not be able to live with other people, and it will be very difficult for him to exist in the world. He will be spoiled so much that he will be good for nothing. As a result, he will have no friends and no relatives. I do not know if he will be able to have a family.

Question: Can you explain why?

Answer: He does not feel that he owes something to somebody, and he will not correctly perceive people’s attitudes toward him. After all, he must live in the world in which he is connected with other people through reception and bestowal, but he is not ready for it. Because of that, he will just be an unhappy person. He will be rejected, people will not be able to interact with him, and he will not be able to interact with others. It will be very difficult for him not to feel unique.

Question: What is proper education?

Answer: Proper education is a balanced attitude toward a child from the side of his parents that is built on two lines: reward and punishment, mercy and severity.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/17/23

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Microsoft co-founder Bill Gates said during a speech that he wished he had discovered the importance of work-life balance years ago. 

Speaking at a Northern Arizona University (NAU) commencement ceremony Saturday, Gates told the graduating class that during his early days at Microsoft, he didn’t believe in taking vacation days or having weekends off, noting that he used to keep track of employees who would leave early or stay late. 

“But as I got older — and especially once I became a father — I realized there is more to life than work,” Gates said during his commencement speech. “Don’t wait as long as I did to learn this lesson. Take time to nurture your relationships, to celebrate your successes, and to recover from your losses.”

“Take a break when you need to,” Gates added. “Take it easy on the people around you when they need it, too.”

Gates also encouraged the graduating class to live in the moment and “have some fun,” adding in his speech that what they are currently doing right now won’t impact their future  (The Hill).

Question: What is this message to students—take a break when you need to? How do you feel about this?

Answer: It means spending more time on creativity. Because if you bury yourself in work, you will not be able to give your brain, yourself, and your thoughts a creative direction.

A creative person should live by absorbing from the air, from the environment, from something that is not simple mechanical work with effort. He should be free, as creative intellectuals have always lived in general.

Comment: That is, the rest itself, even when you walk through the forest and it is a rest on the one hand, on the other hand, it is work.

My Response: Creativity. Of course.

Question: Do you completely agree with him?

Answer: He speaks correctly. A creative person should be free. Otherwise, he will not invent anything and will not give movement, an impetus to progress.

Question: What if we translate this to education, to children? A school that is based on homework, on coming to the blackboard and giving answers: “Tell me what you did at home.” And so on, and so on. If that is all, do you think, it does not prepare creativity?

Answer: It trains technicians who can work, calculate, and do something, but they will not have creative spurts.

Question: So, you are for the formula of creativity. Is it possible to bring everyone to this formula?

Answer: I think that it is possible. Especially since from our time and onward, the period of humanity’s development in the direction of creativity begins. We will see less and less production and more and more of those who work at a level above production.

Question: Are you saying that creativity is inherent to almost every person?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Why? How did they place this point of creativity into us from above?

Answer: So that we express more what is characteristic of a person, not a machine, not a beast, and so on.

Question: So, if we see that a person has resigned himself to mechanical work, does it mean that he has not found this point in himself?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Does it exist in him?

Answer: It is there. Maybe he is looking for it, but it has not been revealed yet. Therefore, he has to do or chooses to do mechanical work. Maybe it helps him, it organizes his thoughts somehow.

Question: Do you think every person should look for this point in themselves?

Answer: I think that if a person has the right inner attitude, he will come to this.
[315046]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 6/8/23

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Question: Most people know some other language in addition to their native one. Why can a person never master a foreign language at the same level as his native language even if he is fluent at it?

Answer: It is because the original information is written within us in the native language like for example in a computer: every program is written in English and after that other languages are added to it. Exactly in the same way the original programs are written within us. This is why it is called “mother tongue.” A person receives it from his mother. You cannot escape it!

Comment: Even when people have lived in another country for a long time and have learned let’s say English or French, it is still easier for them to express themselves in their native language.

Answer: Of course, this is the way the person has recorded his perception of the world: this is called red, this is yellow, this is so and so, and so forth. This information is initially written within him. However, the second and third layers, other languages come to him as additional ones, and they are based on the first language called mother tongue.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Mother Tongue” 9/21/11

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Question: A little boy plucked two pears from a tree and brought them home. Mom asked, “May I try one pear?” The boy thought about it, then took a bite from both. Mom thought that her son was greedy and she needed to have a conversation with him about greed. But the boy suddenly handed her a pear and said: “Both are delicious, but this pear is much sweeter.”

How can one learn to give the better thing to the other?

Answer: In general, this is the correct state in children. Because for them to take a bite, try, and then give it to the other is natural. Just like small children pull a pacifier out of their mouth and hold it out to you as a sign that they love you.

Question: Yes, exactly so! But here the emphasis is precisely on the fact that he gave his mother the better pear. The sweeter one. Is that what you mean?

Answer: Yes.

Question: Why do we, once we grow up, give the others the less sweet pear?

Answer: We are getting smarter. This is a child; he does not have much egoism yet, and therefore he does it wholeheartedly.

Question: What is our cleverness and our growing up? I mean, our growing up is that we do not give the best to others, but we keep the best for ourselves. Is this growing up?

Answer: Of course.

Question: Why does this happen?

Answer: Because our egoism always turns everything to the opposite.

Question: Are we aware of this?

Answer: We are aware of this. I remember it even on myself, that about two years ago I also did this; I gave the best to the other. But then I had to mess it up. They gave me two postcards, and they said to give one of them to my cousin. I did not know which one to give, because they were both beautiful, so bright, colorful, and nice. I had to do something with it, so I bent the corner of one postcard, rubbed it a little and then gave it away. I was already smarter.

Question: But did you realize that it was wrong of you to damage it specifically to give it away without a worry?

Answer: So that I know which one to give, otherwise I could not choose between the two.

Question: And the further the scarier?

Answer: Of course!

Question: When do we receive this feeling: “What am I doing?! How is that possible?!”

Answer: We need to learn a lot through examples. This is not easy.

Question: But does it always come to a person or may it never come?

Answer: It depends on the person.

Comment: That is, it may come, and then he is horrified that he wants to give the worst to the other all the time.

My Response: Yes. You see, I still remember this example.

Question: Apparently it does go into the heart.

When a person understands this, feels that he is like this, and he does not want to live like this, in such a nature, what should his actions be? Let’s say, I felt completely how I am giving the worst to the other

Answer: If this is already changing in a person and he begins to recognize this, then this is already the road to correction, to self-examination, and so on. This is already a cool thing.

Question: So can I internally tell myself that I am already going down some wrong path?

Answer: Probably, yes. Somewhere you are already getting close to self-examination.

Question: I remember you told me how you were sitting with your teacher, sorting coffee beans. This sorting them bean by bean was really annoying. Suddenly your teacher said to you: “Imagine that you are sorting these beans for your teacher, and the teacher will drink coffee made from these beans.” And let’s say, these others are for the friends.

Tell me, did that thought give you strength at that moment? You, in principle, perceived your teacher practically as a father. Does an exercise in thought give strength to a person?

Answer: Frankly speaking, at that moment, I do not think I understood it yet. But in general, of course, this is a great example.

Question: Did your teacher RABASH live like this himself?

Answer: He lived like this. I remember when he told me this, I realized how much I was not on topic.

Question: When a person finally understands that he is on topic, does it mean that he has reached some kind of straight line, has reached the path?

Answer: Yes, it is good for a person to reach this state.
[315571]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 6/8/23

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Question: People who practice Kabbalah develop certain callousness after a while as a natural effect. How can this callousness be used correctly?

Answer: They are like that because they are given freewill. This is how I behave with my students as well. Otherwise, will I be force them to be the way I want them to be? No. They must take each step by themselves or they will not start walking and learn how to navigate in this world!

A little man changes under the influence of the environment. He looks at others and this is it, he does not need anything else. He sees a child a year older than himself, and it is an angel for him, it is an example for him. He looks at him and does the same.

He automatically enters the kindergarten and nothing else exists for him: other kids sit down, he sits down; they get up, he gets up; they go somewhere, he follows them like a monkey! Look how this instinct introduces us to life and helps us. Look what nature does!

It means you need to use this instinct. This is the most natural action. We just need to get into the right environment, the right “kindergarten,” and learn from good, right people, and then everything will be fine.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Ruthless people” 9/17/11

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Question: If punishments are forbidden in Judaism, then how can it be avoided that a person might abuse the fact that he will not be punished?

Answer: In Judaism, the most terrible punishment has always been public opinion, censure, excommunication from society, and expulsion from it.

Children were specially brought up in love and respect for parents and relatives: “These are your distant relatives, this is your community, your people. You have to think this way, you have to help everyone.”

There should be no beggars in the society! Everyone should have food! If a husband dies, be sure to help the woman and the children. There was a duty to marry all the girls and teach children literacy and mathematics. Everyone must learn! And so on, and so on.

That is, a huge number of auxiliary systems were created, such as today’s social organizations. All this has existed for a long time, long before the exile of the people.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Prison” 8/16/11

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Question: Does it harm a person to be changed, for example, from left-handed to a right-handed?

Answer: Of course, any intrusion in the natural inclinations of a person is harmful. We must give a person the right to freely develop his or her qualities and based on them participate in the general correction of all mankind and the common soul. It is then that we will be able to realize everyone correctly and achieve harmony.

Therefore, Kabbalistic education is based on the fact that in no case do we get inside a person and say what is bad in him and what is good. We only fill him with knowledge from the inside, and he will realize this knowledge as soon as he can.

Question: So it does not matter if a child is right-handed or left-handed?

Answer: It does not matter at all with what inclinations a person was born. He may be weak, clumsy, limited, not brilliant, but if he fulfills his purpose and realizes himself, he reaches his perfection.

Then, in a spiritual state, he feels absolutely like everyone else. After all, if he was created with such qualities and this is exactly what is part of him in the common soul, then he does not need anything else. He attains the same perfection as the highest righteous souls. Absolutely the same because the system is integral.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Left-handed and Right-handed” 8/11/11

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Question: Should we give money to children?

Answer: Generally, yes. It depends on what it is for, but for sure, we should. On the one hand children should understand the value of money, and on the other hand what can be done with it and how.

Question: Did you give money to your children?

Answer: Of course.

Question: How do we raise confident children?

Answer: This is a problem. The most important thing is to show them that they can be confident in themselves.
[314003]
From KabTV’s “Blitz Of Kabbalah Tips” 5/18/23

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Question: Does the choice of a person’s name play any role? Where does a name come from?

Answer: Yes and no. The fact is that the name of a person is supposedly given by accident by his parents. Why the parents had a desire to give him or her a particular name seems to be their business.

In fact, the name speaks of the inner essence of a person. There is nothing random in the world because everything is absolutely predetermined! But we do not know that.

What if your name is so-and-so and my name is so-and-so? Our parents wanted to name us that, based on the circumstances, i.e., on the advice of relatives, or a young mother read a novel and wanted to name the child by the name of its character.

Let’s say the name Madonna or Diana is popular today. At one time, the name Angela was popular, and so on. It does not matter. The popularity of names does not matter. It is predetermined anyway. Therefore, any hint of anything contains an internal source.

Do you think you can guess the qualities or fate of a person by their name? This is unavailable to us unless you are Wolf Messing. It was enough for him to look at a person, and he immediately saw both his name and his fate. It is written down in nature but not for our use.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Choosing a Name for the Child” 5/7/11

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