Question: “What is unconditional love? How and why does it harm both parents and children?”

Answer: It is because absolute love does not educate children. Children must understand that there are certain conditions for the manifestation of love. And parents should also feel some kind of reciprocity from their children: right-wrong, correct-incorrect, toward themselves-away from themselves, and so on, so that there would be some kind of correct contacts, mutual contacts between them. And not just “I love you” and that is all.

There may be such an attitude toward a baby but not between adults. Even when children are growing up there should be mutual relations built on attraction and rejection, the carrot and the stick. Children must understand that they are permitted to behave in a certain way and not allowed to behave in another way, that there is reward and punishment.

Question: So when it is said that a child was brought up in love, grew up in love, what does this mean in your opinion?

Answer: In my opinion, a child grows in love when he understands what he is rewarded for and what he is punished for. That is called in love.

Question: And if it is in absolute love?

Answer: In absolute love a child will be crippled. He will not be able to live with other people, and it will be very difficult for him to exist in the world. He will be spoiled so much that he will be good for nothing. As a result, he will have no friends and no relatives. I do not know if he will be able to have a family.

Question: Can you explain why?

Answer: He does not feel that he owes something to somebody, and he will not correctly perceive people’s attitudes toward him. After all, he must live in the world in which he is connected with other people through reception and bestowal, but he is not ready for it. Because of that, he will just be an unhappy person. He will be rejected, people will not be able to interact with him, and he will not be able to interact with others. It will be very difficult for him not to feel unique.

Question: What is proper education?

Answer: Proper education is a balanced attitude toward a child from the side of his parents that is built on two lines: reward and punishment, mercy and severity.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/17/23

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