“I awaken the dawn” means that I awaken the need to bestow, the Light of Hassadim. And the darkness begins to dissipate because I do not feel it as darkness anymore. Darkness is the feeling of emptiness in my desire to enjoy. But I say that I do not care what state I am in—I want to be in bestowal, in the Light of Hassadim, to be content with any state as long as it brings pleasure to the Creator. All the states come from the Creator; therefore, I rejoice in them and feel grateful. And then I feel that it is not darkness at all, but an opportunity to bestow. My bestowal is in asking for nothing other than a small point of adhesion with the Creator, nothing more.1
Being a slave to Pharaoh, I cannot make a covenant, I am not free. But if I feel that I am able to come out of Pharaoh’s control, then from his slave I turn into a servant of the Creator. There is nothing in between except for my decision of whose control am I under.
To come out of Pharaoh’s control into the control of the Creator is only possible through signing a covenant between 3 parties: the group, the Creator, and me. We all want to be united into a single point of connection. The covenant means unity, connection.2
The covenant is the connection between Israel and the Creator, and it is achieved through connection with the friends. I reveal the connection with the Creator in the center of the ten, and then I can be sure that “Israel, meaning, I, the Torah, and the Creator are one.” The only way I can connect with the friends is through the Light that reforms, so the Torah is the necessary part of this union.
“The Torah, the Creator, and Israel are one”—this is called a covenant. The covenant determines the beginning of the path, its every step, and the end of all corrections.3
When darkness comes, some people run away. But those who stay, they can correctly discern this state and understand that darkness comes from my lack of desire to bestow. So, I do not aspire for knowledge or understanding, for sensations or revelations, but see the emptiness and the darkness as an opportunity to ask for the quality of bestowal. It is precisely in the state when I have nothing that I only want to give because this is the most basic state of complete annulment.
I do not have to overcome my big desires to enjoy because there is no fulfillment in them—only emptiness and darkness. There is nothing to give up. The Creator gave me an opportunity called “darkness” where I feel nothing, want nothing, have no importance for anything. And it is precisely in this state that it is the easiest for me to ask for the desire to bestow.
There is no better state to pray for bestowal. After all, I have nothing! Even if I am ready to give in order to receive, in order to acquire the force of life, this is already an advancement toward bestowal.
I cannot live in empty, dark desires to enjoy that moan with despair and disappointment, so I pray to live in the desires of bestowal. Therefore, it is necessary to fully appreciate the darkness, as it is written: “And there was evening and there was morning, one day.” If we ask for the property of bestowal, the Light of Hassadim, so that it becomes for us the Light of day and fills us, then after the evening comes the morning, as one day.
It is necessary to connect all the darkness, all the nights together and demand the Light of bestowal upon them, the possibility of rising above the darkness. I do not want to change the state itself, let the night remain, but I want to be above it, in the Light of bestowal. Because then I will no longer be in the dark, I will be able to give, to act. After the corrections of the night comes the morning, the Light of day clothed in the Light of Hassadim.
The benefit of the Light is revealed from the darkness. Daylight does not drive away the darkness but turns it into the Light of Hassadim, and then, the darkness shines as Light.4
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/3/19, “A Covenant” (Preparation for the Convention in Arava 2019)
1 Minute 29:10
2 Minute 33:00
3 Minute 36:20
4 Minute 42:15