We intentionally take ourselves out of balance so that we can feel how much we need the Creator. It is written, “Israel hastens time.” That’s why we cannot sit and wait for something to happen by itself. We must act ourselves.
If the same state keeps repeating over and over, it is called death. I must try to change it. It is in my power to change day and night. All of this is only to create a need for the Creator. We want to forcefully place ourselves into states where we will not be able to cope without the help of the Creator.
This is not about bringing suffering upon ourselves. These are not bad states. Evil is that which comes without our prior preparation, that which comes from the path of suffering. But I go by the path of hastening the Light—Achishena—and awaken myself: “I awaken the dawn.” I, myself, want to feel the darkness and the dusk because I develop a taste for them. And without this, I have no flavor, like tasteless food without salt and pepper.
This is a positive state, not a negative one, where it feels like the ground under your feet is disappearing, fear grips you, your head is cloudy, and all foundation is gone. Along with this, somewhere in a far distant corner of the mind, I understand that this comes only in order to advance me, and that is why I rejoice. This is not the path of suffering— together we awaken the dawn. We need to clear the space that the Creator will fill. And in the next moment, fear again engulfs me.
If fear of the future awakens within me and, along with it, I understand that all of this is done by the Creator to bring me closer to Him, and I hold on to Him, then I justify my state and my fear for however short an instant. The main thing is that I achieved adhesion with the Creator, and I see that the point of everything that occurred was in Him.
I again quickly lose the connection with the Creator, and again I am a newborn who lost his mother, who glances around and doesn’t see her anywhere. This is an egoistic approach, but it is already the right demand for the Creator.1
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson on 6/24/18, Preparation for the Convention in Italy 2018
1 Minute 20:30