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Comment: Scientists claim that the greatest egoists are altruists, and it has been proven on a neurological level and on the economic level. There is even a term “altruistic punishment,” which is when we punish those who harm society, those who don’t make people happy, those who harm our freedom, and we enjoy doing that and as a result our ego grows even more.
Answer: Of course we can buy a person if we give him presents, serve him and show him love. He will thus receive continuous pleasure from us, will enjoy, will get used to the pleasures, and we will bring him closer to us. On the whole, this is a female’s work: when a woman supports and cares for her man, he feels that she is the motherly figure and needs her.
I don’t see anything wrong with that. That’s the way we egoists communicate. If I didn’t need someone, I wouldn’t even notice that he is standing by me. I always notice only what I need and what I can benefit from or the other way around, what disturbs or threatens me. This means that we notice everything that affects our desire whether negatively or positively.
The biggest ego is indeed the altruistic ego. It is a very sophisticated and developed ego. When I realize that behind every simple good action, like helping a small animal or taking care of a baby, I gradually tame it or I deceive it by filling its desire so that it will not be able to go on without my filling. I thus invoke a certain reaction in it and it feels that it owes me.
Question: If we only see the ego behind every action from now on, where will it lead us?
Answer: Nowhere. It is an advanced phase of the ego by which we understand how to work with other people who are also egoists and that if you treat them altruistically, you will buy them and will not have to manage them by force, but simply treat them nicely.
It is the same egoistic benefit but on a higher level, and as scientists realize today, this is how all the people will feel: that it is merely the same egoism. It is similar to the relationship between a mother and a child: The mother loves her children in a normal human way and gives them everything, and as a result, she needs them and they need her.
Comment: But people are sure that motherly love is true altruistic love.
Answer: We have to look at life a bit more seriously. I greet, respect and also love my mother who is still alive.
I know how I treat her, how I should treat her, and how she treats me, but we should understand that it is nature that invokes this feeling in us and not the person who educates himself to be like that. This is the difference.
We must understand that man operates according to the law of nature that spurs him this way, and this is the reason that he chases food, sex, a family, and love of parents.
It is different if he does that against his ego, if he educates himself to establish totally new relations with everything that is external to him, around him, the still nature, the plants, the animals, and human beings. Then every change he undergoes of his own will, as a result of education against his initial instinctive egoistic nature, a change that is the result of force and effort will be considered an achievement and therefore something of which he can be proud.
Egoistic Reshimot develop inside us, which are data records that are dictated to us, and we have to ascend above ourselves in order to attain a higher egoistic state. How else can I understand the next state if it isn’t depicted in me egoistically? This is how I feel it, “I want!” I want not only this world; I also want the upper world, the future that is above death and above everything. I want to see everything, to control everything, to understand and to feel everything.
Then I am ready to hear what the wisdom of Kabbalah says and how it helps me from now on. This help is given to me so that I will be able to act against my nature and then I invert myself internally and begin to think differently, not with the intention of in order to receive, but with the intention to bestow, not caring about myself, but by caring about others.
In this state I feel peace, a filling, and I don’t yearn for it anymore. It is totally different from the love of a mother to her child. She feels an instinctive love by which she fills herself, but here I fill others and not my own child to whom I feel a common personal human feeling, but total strangers who may be opposite from me and by whom I am repulsed. This is how we will reach the fulfillment of Kabbalistic consciousness. Although it is a great effort, we will succeed.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 3/4/16
Question: Research in the US and Europe shows that one out of five women in big cities does not want to have children. Forty years ago, on the other hand, one out of ten women did not want to have children. What is the reason that the number of women who don’t want to have children has doubled?
Answer: Women have lost the motherly instinct and don’t want to have children. Even if they do, it is only later when they are nearing forty, so that they can enjoy life some more with children.
They take into account the fact that once they have a child they become trapped in obligations for life! It isn’t only financial obligations, but also their commitment to their child. This is simply unacceptable for the growing ego. Today everyone wants to be by himself, totally free, without even having to work. A person is connected to the Internet, he has a smart phone, and people don’t want to be close to anyone. Having a child is an instinctive connection to someone who depends on me and I depend on him.
The moment a woman becomes pregnant, she immediately begins to think only about the life that is being formed inside her and about the fact that she has to totally dedicate herself to it. Her world narrows and all her attention is focused on the embryo that is developing inside her. What’s next? She looks ahead and thinks about spending the rest of her life giving birth, raising, and bring up this creature. Will he live in 100-200 years? No he won’t. He will probably have his own offspring. So why take part in that and dedicate her whole life to that?!
Question: Does she think that a child will deprive her of pleasures in this world?
Answer: Of course, what is more, she feels that a child puts her in prison, that he makes her committed as if he ties her arms and legs and doesn’t allow her to think about anything else but him. The child will be stuck to her and pull all her attention. This is indeed how nature works.
Nature gradually increases a man’s and woman’s ego and allows them not to act automatically as earlier generations did. In the past a woman had to get married very early in life and have children, raise them, build a home, help them with their education, do whatever possible for them, and die. They will cry for her when she is dead, but is this what her life would come down to?!
This is a healthy scrutiny that the ego invokes in her, and she doesn’t want it. She doesn’t care where she will be buried, how, and by whom. She already pays taxes and has different obligations. All she wants is to live and not to owe anything to anyone, and especially not to bury herself while still young.
It is only if a person cares about the goal of creation enough that it obliges him to have a family, to have children, to raise them, and to take care of everything else; he will do it, but only when it is profitable. .
And it will only be advantageous when he knows that he has to act the way that most people in this world do, which means to have children, to raise them, to care for them, to support them, and to help them stand on their own two feet, in order to attain the goal of creation. At the same time he has to correct himself and thus correct the world too!
When a woman has a child and raises him, she actually makes him perform his correction! This is going to be the only incentive to have children in the future. Otherwise, if at the moment one out of five women doesn’t want to have kids, in a couple of years one out of two women will not want to have children and the world population will diminish to half a billion people.
Question: What can a woman think about the goal of creation in order to have a child in the ideal state?
Answer: Our sufferings force us to find a clear answer to the question about the meaning of life. This is the only goal that a woman should have in order to attain the upper management and to see where nature or the Creator is leading us.
When we discover that, we will reveal how we should behave in every aspect of life in order to attain the eternal upper goal, which is considered upper in relation to our temporary life. Then we will feel the benefit in our ego and will have children, bring them up, and dedicate ourselves to the family.
From KabTV’s “News with Michael Laitman” 3/2/16
Answer: This is an unconscious state, and you must continue clarifying it until it becomes clear to you.
Question: As far as I understand, we speak about a method for improving the relationships in the collective. Where can I learn about the way of becoming part of the collective?
Answer: Look it up in our workshop materials.
New Life #702 – The Book Of Esther In Our Times
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Nitzah Mazoz
All parts of nature should operate in harmony, but mankind disrupts this harmony. This is the reason that animals devour each other, but if there were love between human beings, “a wolf shall dwell with a lamb.”
If people lived in peace, animals would also live in peace. All the problems in the world stem from the lack of good relations between people, like when a person enjoys causing harm to others, for example.
The goal of our development is to reach a total mutual peace. The kingdom of Ahasuerus symbolizes the whole world, but the corruption has to be revealed on the way to correction. This is the reason that the king empowers Haman, and by his power empowers Mordechai who is the concealed force.
From KabTV’s “New Life #702 – The Book Of Esther In Our Times,” 3/10/16
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