Audio Version Of The Blog – 05.15.13
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In the News (from DailyMail): “It is something many women will already know – and many a man will have discovered the hard way.
“Men find it difficult to read women’s emotions.
“Scientists asked male volunteers to look at pictures of people’s eyes and guess how they were feeling.
“Perhaps unsurprisingly, they found it twice as hard to guess a woman’s mood as a man’s.
“But it’s not simply for lack of trying, the study shows.
“The men were given brain scans while they looked at the pictures. The data suggested an unusual reason for the difficulty in reading women’s feelings.
“When looking at male eyes, men related what they saw to themselves. The parts of their brains linked to past thoughts and feelings lit up.
“They understood what other men felt by remembering similar moments in their own lives – and using them to evaluate the image, the researchers said.
“But when they looked at female eyes, they found themselves mystified.
“Their brains searched for memories of when they had seen another woman who looked similar to the image.
“This less personal process meant men found it harder to empathise with women’s feelings.
“The amygdala is a part of the brain believed to be important for empathy with others.
“The scientists found it showed more activity when men looked at a man, rather than a woman.
“And there may be very good reasons why men are better at understanding their own kind.”
My Comment: If it were the only difference between us! There are still many discoveries ahead that will show how different we are because we come from different upper roots: Zeir Anpin and Malchut. But instead of exploring differences, it’s better to focus on the opportunities to complete each other. Namely this combination will bring the world to happiness.
The Reason For The Difference Between Male And Female Behavior
Men And Women Feel And Behave As Different Species
Men Do Not Like To Feel Somebody Else’s Sadness
Question: In the life of couples, there are moments when the partners experience a feeling of unprecedented, ultimate happiness, a feeling that brightens the routine with a flare of light. When we first experience this, we are excited that something like this is possible at all. After all, previously, we didn’t think that something like this could exist.
Answer: I think that for every couple, if they build their relationship on emotion and not on cold calculation, there will be moments of complicity when it’s as if the partners live within each other, penetrate each other, are intertwined with each other, when they discover an integration, mutual inclusion into each other that cannot be escaped. Kinship, closeness to the point of unity, intoxicates them, and when this love flares up, they lose their heads.
However, this will go on for only a few minutes, in the best of circumstances, for a number of days, and in rare instances, a number of weeks. Here, much depends upon us, upon the period in our lives through which we are passing. After that, the “delusion” vanishes.
So, where does this come from? It comes from nature so that we will approach each other and can develop a particular connection between us called a family. Without these moments, like animals, we would continue to get closer to each other according to the “calendar” and then move away again according to the orders of our inner essence. Yet, since we are humans, we have to preserve our relationships for years, and hence Nature provides us with an example of how we can do this.
It shows us how to prolong this fire of unification and integration so that it will become fascinating, will intoxicate me, and will not let me leave, so that it will compel me to think about my partner all the time. On one hand, it streams life into me, and on the other, it doesn’t let me turn toward anything else. It fills my emotion and takes away my mind. The example for this we see inside and out, but one way or another, it comes from Above, glows outside, and then goes out.
We need to teach people how to capture moments like these, how to prolong the magic, to strengthen it, and to develop it through the mind. I will attain a feeling that I experienced before specifically with the help of mind, but now this feeling will be balanced: I won’t lose my head and will be able to live with it for years as I develop it and manage it. By becoming included into one another, my partner and I won’t lose our ability to speak about the multitude of emotions, but rather, we will be able to share our impressions and experiences, measure and discuss them.
We truly will share with each other the feeling that fills us more clearly as we amplify and raise it more and more above all the events of life and above habit that leaves a bland taste everywhere.
This is the reason we need to attach the mind, meaning the method and the studies, to emotions. We need to teach people how to love.
Question: Is it possible to learn how to experience love?
Answer: Let’s remember what happened when the partners saw each other for the first time. This could have happened in a first, chance meeting, or the opposite; they might have been meeting each other from time to time over an entire year, and yet one day, they suddenly felt a particular impulse, really noticed each other as if a light went on in each of them.
Why does this happen? We don’t know. Nature itself sends us moments like these. However, without the necessary attention from our side, they disappear to wherever they came, without our noticing.
Only in very rare circumstances does this feeling remain over time, such as if people have a tendency for this or if they already were used to sustaining it when they lived at home with their parents. In general, the rudiment that our previous life has left in us is very important: Did we see similar examples at home? Did we get inspiration from them? After all, as a rule, we mimic everything that we absorbed from the family in which we were raised.
In the modern world, divorce has become the norm and even the general rule. It is difficult to find a partner who doesn’t cheat, isn’t suspicious of his “other half,” or doesn’t think of separating, often enduring this shared life from a lack of choice.
Therefore, it is necessary to teach people “love courses.” It is not worthwhile to rely on spontaneous, accidental, and uncontrollable surges. On the contrary, we agree that we will engender love between us ourselves, that we will cherish and develop it. We don’t wait for any chance flashes from unknown sources. Rather, we “run the business” ourselves. Then, regardless of whatever happens throughout our long lives, we can maintain this fire of love so that it constantly provides us with support, granting us a wonderful and secure feeling at all stages of the way.
I would put this course in school already, without waiting until confused couples seek help and advice when they don’t know how to return to the feeling that once was, how not to drift apart from each other eventually, until there is a complete dissolution of the family.
As with the rest of our problems, it’s all about a lack of adequate education, a lack of understanding, knowledge, and skill, without which it is simply impossible to manage.
From a Talk about New Life 7/30/12
The Harmonic Dance
Once Upon A Time There Lived A Husband and a Wife…
A New Era Of Family Relations
Question: If we join someone else’s community, how can we introduce our integral message so as a result, this community will be involved and oriented correctly?
Answer: A person who is engaged in the integral method has to first change himself a little, to become integral, to experience integral interconnection, as if exit from himself into the group, into the society.
First, studying occurs in groups. People constantly are integrated into each other, “exit themselves,” submit themselves to the group, and conversely, submit the group to themselves. They study all the integral qualities and begin to feel what it means to create within a group its general, unified image.
That is, they obtain integral skills. With these skills, they approach the crowd, for instance of fifty, a hundred, or three-hundred people—the number doesn’t matter. They know what they must get. They feel within themselves everything that happens with the crowd, where it should be led and how to control it. After all, inside themselves, they already have a clear image as to where they should lead the crowd.
In addition, if one passes some information to someone else in just a few lessons or he learns them from a book, nothing will come out of this.
If people, who have gone through all the internal metamorphoses with us, work with the crowd, then they will be able to convey their message. They must experience some transformation within themselves, feel integrality, and then they will be able to pass this feeling to others.
From KabTV’s “The Wisdom of the Crowd” 5/6/13
Teach Humanity About Integrality
When Will The Masses Become Wise?
Replacement For Egoistic Dependency
Question: We see today that experts from various sectors cannot manage and overcome problems in the economy and in other fields. Is it possible to replace these experts with integral unification in circles?
Answer: Yes, it’s possible, if these unions are built by people who understand what is happening. There are very few people like this in the world. They must be experts in integral upbringing. Essentially, we need to go out to humanity and explain how the world is integral and mutually linked; how we have evolved so far and into what state we are entering; that the general crisis is not accidental and that its solution can only be in this form and not another.
The solution is simple and the same for everyone. You don’t have to be great experts for this. It is simply necessary to teach people how to connect in similarity to nature which now reveals itself as integral.
If there is a butterfly effect, and we truly see this in all of our movements, then it is desirable that we learn about this effect and control it because it can seriously threaten all of humanity.
From KabTV’s “The Wisdom of the Crowd” 5/6/13
Closed Societies And Integral Education
Directors For The Collective
How Can We Understand One Another?