I Don’t Want To Curse The Creator!

Dr. Michael LaitmanIn certain states, the upper shows its reverse side in such a way so that I join it. Like a father to a son, he shows me how to play. Lowering himself to the level of a child, a father looks a little smarter and shows the son a small difference between what he is and what he should be. This is the reverse side of the upper one, not a father at his full height, but the difference between the child’s current state and the state when he has ascended one small step higher.

We can say that the Creator shows the current picture of the world to a person so like a child, he overcomes obstacles, taking this game seriously. However, this depends on the person. If he feels that he is in single concealment, that everything comes from the Creator, as a result of the past or as a precondition for the future, when time after time he sees that he cannot succeed, then the question arises: How can one rise above this?

First of all, should we ask for success? Of course not, because then a person would just use his normal egoistic desire and would distance himself from the Creator.

Perhaps, I should pray to the Creator so He does not send suffering for the past deeds or for the future reward? No, because this prayer would be attributed to self-interest. It is not designed for correction.

In both cases, a person seems to say to the Creator, “You have brought me closer to You. You shine the strongest Light on me now, and in it, I feel weaker, flawed, and corrupt. So, take Your Light back, so I can feel better!”

In reality, we need to ask for correction, “I agree with everything You teach me. It’s not the point. Let me experience troubles and problems if it is in favor of correction. But it hurts me and I curse You in my feelings, willingly or not: the overdrawn notice from the bank, a call from the police‑all my troubles. On the one hand, You shine a bit of Light on me, and I feel that You exist, but on the other hand, it makes me curse You in my uncorrected desires. I do not ask you to move away, depriving me of Your presence and the suffering associated with it. I ask something else: Correct me! Move closer in the feeling like the one who carries only good. Let me feel that You are the Good Who Does Good.”

Here, a very big problem arises: How can one judge oneself impartially? After all, I should ask this not to feel good, but only in order to justify Him. Just because of this, my heart aches. And if it does not ache, make it ache. I do not care about suffering, and in general about anything else except one thing: I do not want to condemn You. The issue is not about my feeling good I just want to raise You to the highest level, so that the property of bestowal and love that You represent become of the highest value to me.

If a person strives for this, he already begins to advance correctly. That is how single concealment should be felt, and how one should come out of it.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/2/12, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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