To Grow From A Capricious Request To A Valid Demand
There is nothing but the relationships among us, relationships of receiving and bestowal. The result of these relationships should be to bring contentment to the Creator. The upper Partzufim cooperate: Abba and Ima, and ZON perform endless different actions, the Reshimot (reminiscences) change, but the main thing is the intention of the person who operates this whole system.
Before he operates it everything in it is dead, still. Then a person comes and the first thing he does is to weed out the dry thorns from the vineyard, which means that he cuts and separates the “stony heart” that cannot be corrected. Then he begins to work with all the rest. Prior to that, the whole system is quiet and a person operates it according to his exertion: He “presses the gas pedal,” he wants the system to work in order to bestow.
There is a set table in front of me and I have to gradually take everything that is on it and enjoy the refreshments in order to bring contentment to the host. So I check my vessels and see that they are vessels of receiving. I mustn’t receive even one gram of pleasure in them. First I must restrict myself. If the host is important to me, I will not enjoy for my sake, but will only want to enjoy for his sake.
But how can I bestow upon him, where can I find the power to do so? I begin to look for different methods and advice, and eventually reach the request. In order to receive such power, the Creator has to be revealed to me as the One who bestows, and then He reveals His greatness and His importance to me. But when the power of bestowal reaches a person, it doesn’t rule him, but according to a person’s request, it only rules his desires to receive.
I am made totally of this desire to receive, so how real can my request for the power of bestowal to rule me be? I can scream forever, but it will just be empty tears because I don’t know what to ask for. It’s like a baby who cries loudly, but no one gives him what he wants. We are angry that we don’t receive the spiritual revelation, just like babies.
I have to know exactly what to ask for. If I know what to ask for, how to ask, and for what reason, then my request will be effective. How can I demand the attribute of bestowal? First I have to acquire its importance. This means that I am asking for the Creator and His revelation. I am not asking to enjoy Him, but only to attain the greatness of bestowal: “Let me respect you!” This is the final request. It isn’t so that I’ll feel good and receive pleasure. I only want to respect Him without taking myself into account. We can receive and demand this necessity from the environment.
This request should not be expressed in words, in a fiery speech, or a carefully composed telegram. It’s revealed in the heart, it breaks the walls of the heart and spills out. I ask not in order to enjoy the feeling that I bestow, that I am great and equal to the Creator. I want to acquire the attribute of bestowal itself and I check my intention to improve my attitude to the friends.
Then I will understand what Kabbalists write about and I will consciously be included in what is happening in Malchut of Atzilut. All these things take place in a clear and clarified manner inside me according to the process that Kabbalists describe and reveal it in small portions one after the other. We are very close to that.
From the 3rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/28/12, The Study of the Ten Sefirot
Polishing The Request For Bestowal
Water The Field That Awaits The Rain
A Prayer, Growing Secretly In The Heart
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