Question: Why must a Kabbalist necessarily be married? What is the basis for this?

Answer: A home, a wife, children, and responsibilities are essential so that one may make efforts in our world akin to the spiritual level of the inanimate (Domem).

When you correctly manage all this on the earthly level, understanding that this is necessary for achieve resemblance to the spiritual, this too becomes a condition four your spiritual advancement, and all your efforts are taken into account.

Question: How did this work in your case? You spent practically all your time with your teacher. You didn’t seem to place such a strong emphasis on family.

Answer: Regardless, my family was constantly beside me. So much so that my children also became connected with my movement toward spirituality. They take an active part in it. And no one forces them.

Question: But your wife surely must have thrown tantrums from time to time?

Answer: Never! I cannot even imagine what tantrums she could possible make. I provide the home and the family with everything necessary, and I ensure that the family lacks nothing. I make sure there is always food on the table, clothes to wear, all the basic necessities in the house; that is, I provide a normal standard of living. This is a Kabbalist’s primary concern, this simple earthly, fundamental concern. It is his duty to do this.

Only after that comes the concern for his spiritual development. That is all; nothing more! There are no problems.

The home is a woman’s primary domain. I cannot imagine what else she could possibly demand. To go out to the theater or visit friends? My wife did not demand this; she knew that I was not cut out for that.

Nevertheless, I always devoted a certain amount of time to her to go for a walk in the park, to sit at home, to talk or to listen to something together, especially as we grew older. And aside from that were were the children and then grandchildren.

She always had plenty to keep her occupied. She was fully aware of what I was doing. Had she ever hindered my spiritual advancement, I would have left. Knowing this perfectly well, we maintained a normal, honest understanding between us. Moreover, she helped me in my work with my teacher. She prepared food for him and looked after him; he was an elderly man after all.

A woman must know why she is getting married and whom she is marrying so that later you will not spring any unexpected surprises on her. That should not happen.

She must know that you work in order to provide for her and the children. But beyond the usual normal level of provision, you dedicate everything else to your spiritual development that she benefits from just as much as you do, acting as a full and equal partner in the process.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. Spiritual Couple” 9/15/10

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Comment: Sometimes it is a pity that a person cannot endure the spiritual work and leaves.

My Response: There are very few such people. In the time of Baal HaSulam and Rabash, the dropout rate was very high. I estimate that throughout Rabash’s entire lifetime,  between 3,000 to 5,000 people passed through his hands. And how many remained? Probably somewhere around 70 to 80 people. And even that is a generous estimate. In other words, there was a very high dropout rate. Today, it is much lower.

And where can people go? Our time is completely different. Today, it is clear to a person what Kabbalah gives him. We explain this in plain language.

People think that in Kabbalah, you have to penetrate somewhere with your mind and operate there just as one does with everything in our world. Suppose I am a physicist. They teach me how to work at a nuclear reactor, and I do it. That is all. Do I have to change myself for that? No. I received a degree, clearance, and went to work.

But here, no. Here, you must begin to change yourself. The whole science is built on changing yourself and never anyone else. Therefore, Kabbalah is a completely different method.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. The Sufferings of the Kabbalists.” 10/8/10

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Comment: You say that if a person does not cross into the spiritual world in this life, then they will in the next one. But surely this is a waste of time.

My Response: And what can you do about it? A waste of time. So what? When I look at my children, my parents or other loved ones, of course, they will have to return to this world once again. But am I myself in complete correction? No I am not. We will meet again as well. I have not yet finished all my corrections.

Question: Do you think that you will not be a Kabbalist in your next incarnation but simply as an ordinary person?

Answer: I do not know. And maybe I will be born as my own grandson.

Question: Are you afraid that you might have to change your current ?

Answer: If I were afraid of what the Creator does, I would not be who I am.

Question: Aren’t you even afraid that you will lose your present spiritual sensation?

Answer: Well, let it vanish! This is entirely in His power. He could take all this away from me even now.

Do you imagine that my strength, my position, or some personal means hold me in the state in I am currently in? It is only that the upper light has raised me a little and sustains me.

Question: How can one make a contract with the upper light?

Answer: “You do this for me, I’ll do that for you”? “Save me a spot”? In spirituality, this cannot be.

On the contrary, I completely give myself over to the power of this force, and only in this way do I receive the possibility of being in contact with it. I want it to rule within me for me to become a part of it and for it to become a part of me.

And what else do I possess other than the capacity to nullify myself and thereby acquire all the qualities of the Creator?

Comment: I do not know. You have a different perception; therefore, you make different calculations.

My Response: A person indeed must make a calculation. What is there in us besides foolishness, arrogance, and the desire to dominate? Why should I cherish what is in me? What is there in me that would be worth keeping?

After I begin to examine myself, I see that there is absolutely nothing, except for one thing—that spark that tells me that everything else must be changed. It is this spark that I cherish deeply. Everything else in me is flawed.

And I am feel no shame. Therefore, I do not hide anything, I do not try to be good, kind, corrected, or beautiful in the eyes of others. In reality, who am I? I am even worse than others, because I see more in myself due to the influence of the upper light. And it is not that this is pleasant to me. What is pleasant to me is that this is being revealed, and that I can replace my qualities with the opposite ones.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. Cycles of life…” 10/8/10

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Question: If a Kabbalist absorbs the illnesses of all people into himself and corrects them within himself, then where is the joy of his life?

Answer: You cannot imagine how much joy that is for him, because by this, he corrects a great deal. He does not simply suffer like a little man in our world who does not know the cause, reason, or purpose of his suffering, through whom suffering simply passes as he moves forward mechanically. A Kabbalist does this consciously; he senses these sufferings, understands their source, and corrects them. Internally, he is happy.

Question: So all the Kabbalists who died tragically were happy?

Answer: Yes, undoubtedly. My teacher passed away in my arms. The point is that all these sufferings come at the level of our world in the form of all kinds of illnesses. The illness runs its course by itself as in any animate body, and he corrects the world by his attitude to the source, to the Creator, to the light, by rising above this.

He does not become healthy, nor does it make him immortal. He still falls ill and dies. But during the course of this illness and death, he carries out enormous corrections and perceives himself as existing within the upper world; that is what it means to be a Kabbalist.

Question: So he must go through sufferings?

Answer: No, in our time, that is absolutely not necessary. All this was in past centuries, when Kabbalists simply performed corrections and thus prepared all humanity for its present state.

Today we look at ourselves and at the world in a completely different way, and we together take part in the general correction. Therefore, a Kabbalist does not need to correct billions of people but only to disseminate Kabbalah and help them so that they will correct themselves. In this way, we will carry out corrections together with them in one group.

Question: How did the method change? If earlier a person had to suffer…

Answer: This was still before the start of our era when the general egoism developing in humanity was at such a level that sufferings themselves pushed a person toward spirituality. And now this can be done by attracting the light through the study of the primary sources and working in a group. The path of light is not the path of suffering.

Question: On the other hand, a person engaged in Kabbalah goes through difficult states, does he not?

Answer: Naturally, these are unpleasant states. But the point is that they are not so much physical as ethical, moral in nature. Serious work and strong nerves are needed here, although in a group, all this happens relatively smoothly.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. The Sufferings of the Kabbalists.” 10/8/10

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Question: Why is it that all Kabbalists who were attained high spiritual degrees suffered from severe illnesses at the end of their lives?

Answer: Because they suffer for the sake of society and not for themselves.

After all, in our world, we are used to viewing a person as a solitary, separate individual, and therefore we pass such judgments on them: this one is bad, that one is good, this one is such‑and‑such, that one is so‑and‑so, and so on. We fail to take into account the system surrounding the individual that undergoes transformations alongside them that he exists within.

With ordinary people, this perspective is understandable. But a Kabbalist goes through everything not for his own sake. He operates outside of himself, within the surrounding society, and he exists “inside” it. Therefore, the calculation he carries out is a calculation of how to advance society forward.

All his sufferings are also for the sake of society. That is to say, his illnesses and his problems, all of this, does not stem from his own personal nature, but because he gathers all the desires of society within himself; He acts like Bina who gathers all the aspirations from below, from Malchut through Zeir Anpin, and begins to correct and give birth all this. Like a mother who suffers when her children are ill even more than they do and bears the burden of all of them collectively.

Therefore, we cannot interpret a Kabbalist’s sufferings as an indication of his personal problems. These are not his problems at all. Look at what happened with Rabbi Akiva and Rabbi Shimon, and at how young the ARI was when he died! However, in our time, everything is changing; we are advancing forward en masse; so everything can change.

But in past centuries, Kabbalists took a great deal of suffering upon themselves. These were sufferings not for faith, not for God, but for humanity. A Kabbalist absorbs into himself the illnesses of all the other people and corrects them within himself, and therefore, for the time being, they go through him. This must be understood. There is nothing religious here!
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. The Sufferings of the Kabbalists.” 10/8/10

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Comment: When you disseminate Kabbalah to the masses, what attracts people is your inner message.

My Response: This happens because I have this energy. People sense that there is an upper force in me. They perceive it, even if just slightly, and sense that knowledge, confidence, and inner light.

I am not boasting about it, but I also do not hide that they really sense all of this. In many, it provokes hatred; in others, respect, approval, or admiration. It makes no difference. The main thing is that it exists, and it is not merely the spark of a brilliant orator; after all, I do not speak Hebrew particularly well, and my manner is generally somewhat rough, with a strange, often off-putting sense of humor.

I craft my statements quite deliberately, even pointedly, specifically to shake a person up and make them feel uncomfortable to prompt them to engage their critical left line a bit. People simply recognize there is a profound logic here, not mine, of course.

By the way, by nature I am practically without any innate talents. The only thing speaking through me is what I have attained from my great teacher. Through my connection with him, I pass on to you what he receives from his teacher, and further, through the entire chain of Kabbalists.

I have simply been privileged to serve as a conduit, to “pour,” so to speak, information from myself into the common Kli. To the extent that you unite with one another, I am able to pour all of this into you.

Whether I am here or not does not matter. The absence of visual contact serves to give you the opportunity for even greater freedom of choice to unite with one another. If I am no longer present, it will simply mean that you have been granted an even greater measure of freedom of will, even greater responsibility to unite. And when you can do this, you will receive even more from me, just as I receive much more from my teacher than when he was physically next to me.

It is said that the righteous live more in their death than in their life. And therefore there is no difference whether I exist now or will not exist in your eyes. If you unite among yourselves, you will feel a spiritual abundance pouring into you, specifically from me, in an even greater measure.

When you are ready for the stage of uniting with one another, without me in greater freedom of choice, since there will no longer be my pressure or direct guidance, and you are able to bring this to fruition, then I will depart. From that point on, it will be entirely up to you whether you succeed in realizing this or not.

Question: Do you think that those external circles we are currently disseminating information to will continue to be drawn to this in the same way?

Answer: This depends on the extent to which you become a magnetic force, how much inner strength you possess (the kind I currently hold), and on your capacity serve as a source of that strength for all of humanity. If you remain in contact with me and allow this force to flow into you through me, you will begin to attract all of humanity. But all this must happen collectively, as a single, unified entity.

Question: Is it possible that we might fail to become a unified whole?

Answer: In that case the obligation would be shifted away from you and placed upon some other group; alternatively you could be compelled toward this unity through the path of suffering. You will be made to unite regardless, because this is the natural trajectory of evolution, the inevitable path leading to the revelation of that system, that state that exists in the world of infinity.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. In the Union” 9/11/10

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Question: Should I correct my path in accordance with criticism or not? What do you think?

Answer: I think you should not. If this criticism ties you even more strongly to your root, then it is good. This is what you must check!

Question: So I have a path I am following, and if criticism binds me more tightly to this path, then…?

Answer: Go.

Question: Go. And then can one relate to the critics with warmth and kindness?

Answer: Of course. It is from the Creator.

Question: That is, if you are criticized, let us not use harsh words like “hated,” but criticized, or if they try to knock you off the path; then you must hold on to this path even more?

Answer: I cannot tell each person in what exactly.

Question: And what would you say to anyone who is being pressured from all sides? How can he hold on?

Answer: If you are being pressed from all sides, then the best thing is: disconnect, step aside, and look from the side at yourself and at them. And you will see to what extent you may be right, to what extent not. And then make your decision.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 3/19/26

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Question: How should one choose a Kabbalistic partner?

Answer: A person’s partner is the Creator. With Him we must attain unity, complete adhesion. That is all. That is the partner. Everything else is only a means to that end.

All the fellow students, the friends, serve as what might be called “witnesses of your adhesion with the Creator”; they are the ones that provide your contact with Him.

Question: You are speaking now about friends. And a woman? Does she play some role in this?

Answer: A woman must understand your work, its importance, and must not hinder it.

Question: Isn’t she the spiritual woman with whom I can advance?

Answer: You should not think about a “spiritual woman.” Your spiritual partner is the group.

And a wife, it is desirable that she understands you, that she herself aspires to this, and does not hinder you, although disturbances can also be a help along the way.

Comment: Now you are speaking about a woman as a disruptive element. But recently you said that she is a very important element.

My Response: I said that one must choose a wife who will be close to you and similar to you in her understanding of family life rather than someone who pursues a lifestyle and earthly goals that are completely at odds with yours.

We know that the basis of spiritual development is your similarity, common aspirations, common mentality, and common language. Similarity in your parents’ families is already a guarantee that further on there will be mutual understanding rather than disagreements, because all of us are drawn to those values that we received in our upbringing.

In addition to this, similarity in the spiritual goal is necessary, the goal that fills our life and stems from the spiritual understanding of the state. A spiritual state consists of a vessel and a filling.

The vessel is everything that is familiar to me, what I understand as life, that is, the existing conditions, values, and earthly habits. The filling is what I want to fill my life with so that all this will more or less suit both her and me. Then everything will be fine.

Besides that, one must look at what environment I am in, so that it will be suitable for both of us. I cannot find a suitable partner and then go somewhere to Asia and join an Asian group. This too must be more or less suitable for us, so that a person will not feel too great a contradiction. Although in our groups this is not so sharply expressed. Today the world is very close in all its ways of life.

We must strive precisely for such similarity, and through it for similarity to the Creator. Attaining complete similarity is the most comfortable point.
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From KabTV’s “I Got a Call. Spiritual Couple” 9/15/10

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Comment: I thought that the law of mercy emanates from above, and that everything is held by this law. I thought this was the main law of life.

Answer: Why would it be so? I look at inanimate, vegetative, and animate nature and see no observance of such laws there. No, but humans, with their imagination, have scribbled countless books and theories about it. But generally speaking, no.

I think the worst human trait is inventing a future or surrounding reality for oneself based on one’s own desires.

Question: So this is a kind of violence? A person commits violence against nature?

Answer: Yes, and then he makes demands from nature: “Give me this!”

Comment: In other words, “You are merciful, and I want everyone around me to be merciful.”

My Response: Yes. If we reasoned soberly with nature, we would not make demands of nature, but we would demand of ourselves the correct attitude to ourselves, to others, to nature, to everything. And then, perhaps, we would get a hint about how the universe exists and in what way we can rise above it.

Question: So rather than demanding that the universe be merciful to me, I should demand that I be merciful to others?

Answer: Yes.

Question: “Merciful,” did I use the word correctly here?

Answer: It can be used like that, yes.

Question: Then what should be put into this word if we indeed come to being merciful? That I must be merciful to others, what should I invest in that?

Answer: I must do for others all the good and kind things that I would wish for myself. And under no circumstances should I imagine think that I will receive some kind of reward for it. Absolutely not!

Comment: This second part is very difficult: receiving nothing in return.

My Response: In this, in fact, lies the whole point of the first part.

Question: Then will I come into balance with the universe if I begin to move in this way, as you say?

Answer: If so, then yes. And then there will be no destruction, no self-destruction.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman,” 3/17/26

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Question: Are there instances when you, as a teacher, find yourself in dissonance with the group, and you tell the students: “You do not understand me,” and they respond that it is you who does not understand them? What does this achieve?

Answer: It leads to clarification of relationships. How could it be otherwise? That is how it must be. Nothing good comes from what is already “good”; it can only emerge from what is difficult or flawed.

Comment: So, as you put it, you need to put pressure on them, much like we put pressure on a child to help him or her develop.

My Response: It depends on what you mean by “pressure.” You must apply pressure creatively; only then will something emerge. You have to constantly introduce different exercises and small challenges, nothing too overwhelming, while offering help, providing explanations, giving gentle nudges, and continuously alternating between the left and right lines.

How else could it be? How do we play with children? Only in this way. They themselves insist on it.

Comment: But you constantly drive the group into a state of stress as you tell them that the whole world is suffering because of them. And they cry out: “So what are we supposed to do? Tell us!”

My Response: This is precisely how they will try to search for something. I cannot simply tell them what must be done, because the process is one of searching. If I just told them, it wouldn’t work; it wouldn’t be accepted, defined, felt, or truly internalized.

Question: But surely you know what needs to be done, don’t you? Do you have some kind of “vaccine” for this? Is it that you simply do not speak about it?

Answer: I have nothing of the sort. Do you think I am hiding something? Do you suppose that Kabbalah can simply be revealed to someone, and that is it? Through what sensations could it be revealed, if a person does not yet possess them? Through what?

Suppose you were supposed to start sensing radio waves. But you cannot. What can I do? If I were to lower radio waves to the level of the sound or light, levels that you can perceive, then you would see and feel them.

But in order to perceive the radio waves themselves, you must rise to that level, you need to develop some kind of sensor within yourself, a receiver that would perceive them.
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From KabTV’s “I Got A Call. Useless and Worthless People in the Group” 9/26/10

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