Question: What should a couple write in a marriage contract so that it strengthens their bond, does not break it, and does not separate them?

Answer: It should be written in the marriage contract that in fact, no matter what happens between us we will always think about making the other feel good, that it cannot be that one wishes something bad for the other or would do something bad. This is the oath.

Question: What if I suddenly do wish bad for the other? What if this suddenly pops up in me?

Answer: This all needs immediate correction. That is, there are things that should be above our desires, above our egoistic calculations, and above everything else. Like say with children, no matter what happens, you still think about making them feel good.

That is all. And it is the same here.

Question: Should we just write this in the contract, this simple phrase?

Answer: Yes.
[311397]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/14/22

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Question: Mikhail asks: “What is the ultimate goal of a person? Is it to dissolve into the Creator, as you say, to merge with Him? Will we lose our identity or not?”

Answer: I would say it is much higher—to complement the Creator. Except that it is said “You create Me.” So says the Creator. But at least if we do not create, we complement Him.

Question: So, is there some flaw in Him if we complement Him?

Answer: Of course, there is a lack because He is suffering very, very much without us. He has the desire to bestow, to saturate, and to emanate, and there is no one, no one wants to.

Question: But we want to be satisfied, to receive, right?

Answer: We do not want to be fed from Him and not by Him! Therefore, here, I would say, it looks like a war of nerves, who will be the first to give in and say: “I love you!” This is a game of exhaustion, of course, really.

Question: Mikhail asks: “Will we lose our identity or not?”

Answer: We will find it then. What kind of identity do we have now? There is absolutely none.

Identity is acquired by the fact that we become necessary for the Creator in action. We are already necessary, but in action, in the fact that we get closer to Him, unite, and merge with Him; in the fact that we complement the universe, we cause filling in the whole universe, the upper light that fills the whole creation. Without us, it would be empty, cold, and dark.

Question: What kind of additional help does the Creator expect from us?

Answer: So that we turn on the light, turn on the light in fact in this world, so that the universe would be filled with the light of the Creator, love, goodness, unity, and perfection in all possible forms.

Comment: At the same time, you say this today when one does not know where to run. With these crazy wars.

My Response: Nothing needs to be done. We just must wait calmly, with confidence that this should happen, to want, to ask, to quietly ask the Creator.

Question: Is that all that is required of us?

Answer: Yes. Without unnecessary noise, statements, disputes, without anything.
[311176]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/14/22

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Question: In one of your clips there was a story about a lonely whale that exists in its own frequency and makes its own sounds. The others don’t see or hear him. He wanders all by himself.

Martha writes to you: “Tell me, what should I do? I am such a lonely whale. I am surrounded by a lot of people, but I am all alone. I really want to communicate with people, but I cannot find sincere contact, I am afraid of people. What should I do?”

Answer: Tune in to the fact that there are no sincere contacts. Exist the way you exist. It is not called being a lonely whale. The whale also does not exist alone, but among many, many others, similar to and including him. So are we.

Comment: But it was said that the whale wanders around alone, that none hear it or see it. Martha thinks she is the same.

My Response: So, what? What Is wrong with that? I do not feel like a lonely whale. I do my own thing, communicate with a certain number of people, and so on. That is, it is not loneliness.

Question: Not loneliness. And if she has this loneliness?

Answer: This is how she feels.

Question: If she writes: “I’m afraid of people”? How can she overcome such a problem if it is not at the medical level? Fear of people, fear of contacts, there are the people who do not want this connection; they are afraid of it. What should be the result of their efforts?

Answer: The result is that they eventually find company in which they feel free.

Question: But we need to look from easy to difficult, with whom can I? Do not force yourself.

Answer: No! But you can join some clubs and chat with one or two women or men there.

Question: Please explain why you insist on contact. Why not tell a person: “Well, just exist the way you are”?

Answer: But she is complaining!

Comment: She complains, that is right. “I really want to communicate with people, but I cannot find a sincere contact.”

My Response: Sincere! She herself is not ready for sincere contact.

Question: Is that what you feel?

Answer: Of course.

Question: What kind of contact is sincere for you? For her, it is clear to me that she is looking for something like this for herself.

Answer: For me, a sincere contact is to find a book that would capture me. That is all.

Question: In general, what would you call a sincere contact?

Answer: When they understand you. But that is hardly good either. At the same time, a person has very little of himself left. It is true, we do not really want to open up.

Question: Yes, we are closed, of course. So, after all, what is sincere contact?

Answer: I do not know. This is when you feel comfortable with a person. But with whom can you be constantly calm?

Comment: This is also a problem.

My Response: Of course.

Question: A real contact, what is it?

Answer: Real contact is obviously when you love a person and want to make him feel good all the time.

Comment: You took it and suddenly turned everything around just like that. Instead of being good for me, you say: “So that it would be good for the other. And this is called contact.”

My Response: Yes when I feel that I want it to be good for him, create a pleasant atmosphere for him, a feeling.

Question: And if we are talking about the upper, about the Creator, what is a real contact?

Answer: This is already an equivalence of form. This is so that I can affect the Creator in the same way that He affects me. To do this, I need to change my nature, which, by the way, He made for me. So, I must ask Him to change it. This request is the contact.

Question: Can such a request be sincere?

Answer: Partly, until I really ask sincerely.
[311084]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/23/23

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Question: An elderly couple that lived together for more than fifty years was asked how they managed to live together for so long? They answered that it must be because they were born and raised in the times when you fixed what was broken and did not throw them away.

Basically we are throwing away broken things today. Replacements come—no problem. If the relationship is completely broken, how can you fix it? People write to you all the time, and you insist on holding on to the end. But how do you hold on when everything has been broken and there is nothing left?

Answer: Have you lived together? Do you have children? Have your children given birth to grandchildren?

So you have to stay glued together somehow. For the sake of the children and grandchildren because they are your descendants, your consequence. Therefore, you must stay together for their sake. If only officially; it doesn’t matter how.

It means that you can live officially together. For them, you are together. You create this theater for grandchildren and children.

Question: And what does it give? Why are you so insistent on this?

Answer: This is called “family.”

Question: So family is grandchildren, children, and their parents? Is this a family?

Answer: Yes. All those alive and united with each other after all.

Question: Is there a root to this?

Answer: We have to keep this structure. It doesn’t matter whether you like it or not.

Comment: So this remains, even if it breaks me; if everything is already broken and I cannot tolerate the other…

Answer: Don’t pay attention. What’s the difference? What does “breaks” mean? You go on with your life, your wife goes on with her life, the children have their lives, the grandchildren have their lives, and so on. But you’re not breaking anything.

Question: So in a bad relationship, your advice is to act?

Answer: In any condition. You don’t even have to act; just don’t separate officially, don’t get divorced.

Comment: You are now obliging a person: “This is how you must live.”

Answer: If you are aimed at the family existing and at your descendants living within this framework, then you can uphold it. I think we must maintain this connection.

Question: What do you base this on? That this is a bad example for children and grandchildren? Now we are talking about elderly couples. Suddenly they decide to divorce, or suddenly they are in a bad relationship. Should they stick to it because it’s a bad example for children and grandchildren, and it may continue on?

Answer: That too. People should know that if they get married and have children, they should live, in a way, for the sake of the children.
[311045]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 3/23/23

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Question: You have reiterated that a man and a woman are by nature completely opposite to each other. They are two different perceptions of the world. Then how do they communicate with each other?

Where is the point of connection?

Answer: It is above them, in the Creator. Between husband and wife, the point of connection is the Creator. “Husband and wife, Divinity between them.”

Question: When you say the Creator, can you simplify it a little?

Answer: This is a common property of reciprocity, mutual support, love, and connection, created by a man and a woman. It goes particularly in this combination—a man and a woman.

Question: Do they have to understand this in advance before they start their relationship?

Answer: In general, yes. This must be the purpose for which they bond together.

Question: What is the purpose of these two different, polar people—a man and a woman?

Answer: The purpose is that through mutual assistance between them, they reach such a state, such a connection when they will “revolve” around each other and at the same time create a special form of existence—”I am for you, you are for me, and both of us are for the Creator between us.” As it is said: “Husband and wife, Divinity between them.”

Question: So that the Creator becomes the highest property of love, bestowal? And it grows, and grows, and grows?

Answer: Yes.
[311246]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/14/22

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Question: If we talk about the family of the future, what kind of agreement do they make when they get married?

Answer: An agreement that he or she should, first of all, think about the children, then about the spouse, and then about himself or herself. In general, this is very simple. I do not see any problems.

When they think in such a state and are guided by such thoughts, they will have no problems. Even if they will not live relatively closely together, because everything happens in life. I have seen many families who are happy and at the same time do not have close contact with each other.

Comment: So, they follow this formula if there are children.

My Response: They are good friends.

When we first of all demand love and devotion, it is wrong, it quickly leads to defeat. We even see in our lives that it does not work out.

Question: How does the Creator then make all these turns?

Answer: Because there is a difference between the level of an animal and the human level. We definitely should be ascending to it.

Question: What is the human level in this?

Answer: The human level is when I think of my spouse as a friend.
[311413]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 2/14/22

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Comment: Passover is a big celebration of the exodus from Egyptian slavery. It is celebrated by almost the entire country [Israel] and by all the Jews in the world.

This, of course, is also a family holiday; that is, everyone gathers at a festive meal, and everyone is waiting for it.

For those who study Kabbalah, Passover is a person’s understanding that he is enslaved in his egoism and he is fleeing from it.

My Response: He is fleeing from it—he is not exactly fleeing from it because in Egypt there was everything!

Everything you can imagine as communism in this world was there. In principle, they had everything ready for them; they had the best land and everything they could wish for. But ahead of them was a dead desert, a dead sea; everything was dead and full of uncertainty, nothing good. So where is the Egyptian slavery and where are we going? This is the question.

The whole work in Egypt is to picture that all the desert in front of you is paradise. And everything in Egypt (where everything is fine and absolutely everything you want) is hell. Egypt is an egoistic fulfillment, fulfilled by everything you wish.

It relates to each of us. It is our Egypt. Everything is good in it; there is everything here. All the pleasures of this world in all their details and in all their variations are at your disposal.

Nobody wants to get out of it. All is good in general. The only one who feels bad is the one who is not like them, the one who wants to get the people out of there.

Who wants to get the people out? Moses. So, what good did he do? For centuries after that, we only feel bad. There is nothing better than Egypt!

Comment: But it is written that we were slaves in Egypt.

My Response: We were slaves because we were in our egoism, but we got practically everything we could wish for.

Question: So why does a person suddenly want to get out of this fairy tale?

Answer: That is how a person is built.

Question: Why does he suddenly hear Moses? This is instead of listening to the Pharaoh who says: “Stay here, I will provide you with everything, and everything will be fine.” And Moses says: “We will go into the unknown, into the desert. Follow me.” Why did they follow him?

Answer: Apparently, Moses told the Creator that something had to be done with them to make them want to leave. Moses made an agreement with the Pharaoh and with the Creator that there would be Egyptian executions of the Jews, from which they would want to run away. But if it had not been for those executions, they would have run nowhere. And if they had not wanted to run away, then there would have been no executions.

Question: That is, after all, the egg was first? Did they want to escape in some way at first?

Answer: I think it was Moses who made an agreement with the Creator: “Let us arrange it so that they still want to follow me.”

Question: But still you said that Jews suffered from the ten plagues there. Even the Egyptians had a hard time. It is written that the Egyptians suffered the most.

What does it mean, in your understanding that the Egyptians suffered from ten Egyptian plagues?

Answer: It is the egoism of a person who wants to be free. That is, it was unclear to whom and how to be subordinate. But the main thing was to break out of this communism that had everything. There was everything in abundance.

Question: Are the Egyptians this communism that exists within us, this egoism? They want to keep us and ask: “Why are you running away from there? You feel so good there.” Does it turn out this way?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What is the Passover holiday for the world? Jews celebrate it materially and Israel celebrates it. But what is this holiday for the world?

Answer: It is liberation from Egyptian slavery; it is liberation from egoism; it is the liberation of man from himself. I do not want to be controlled by an egoistic property that wants to get hold of everything, to be filled with everything, and thinks only about that. I want an altruistic property to control me so I want to connect with others, to fill others, and not myself. This is the desire that emerges. This is Moses in us.

We become Jews when we hear Moses when Moses is inside us. And if not, then we are the same Egyptians.

Question: Can we say that there are only two kinds of people in the world? Are there two kinds of people in the spiritual world?

Answer: Yes, you are either an Egyptian or an Israelite. There is nothing in the middle.

An Israelite is one who is directed to the Creator, Isra-El, meaning straight to the Creator. And the Egyptian is directed toward  himself.

Question: When you say that this holiday is for the world, does the world have to decide who it is today?

Answer: Yes.

Comment: Today is such a critical moment that we really need to resolve this.

My Response: We do not even realize it yet. The world is unaware of where it is being led, completely unaware!

Question: But can we say that the Egyptian plagues are taking place all over the world now?

Answer: Yes! It is very serious. There is such a wave all over the world.

Question: But maybe the world will come to an understanding that it is necessary to get out?

Answer: It all depends on us, how we show this path to the world—the path of development, the path of unification, what should be ahead, and what to strive for. Will we be able to do it?

Question: Do we have to show it so that it somehow would be pleasant, sweet, and happy for a person?

Answer: Both sweet, pleasant, and necessary! That is, it should not attract someone because it is sweet. No one sees that in Egypt it is sweet as well.

But there the sweetness comes from freedom from egoism. That is, the feeling of slavery in Egypt is opposed to freedom from egoism outside of Egypt. And a person must grow inside oneself to such an extent that this difference between the two states simply pulls one forward.

Question: So must the world today hear that it is necessary to get out of egoism, out of Egypt?

Answer: Yes. We are stuck!

Question: It turns out that we were a little delayed in this Egypt. And what is happening now is pushing us out. Don’t we feel the need to get out of it?

Answer: But we must set a course, we must understand, we must strive, and we must pull everyone along with us.

Question: When you say “we,” who do you mean?

Answer: First, I mean those people who can understand and realize this, who are striving forward, Yashar Kel, Israel. And everyone else will follow.

Question: It is not necessarily the Jews that are directly to the Creator?

Answer: The main mass, the initial mass are Jews, that is, those who experienced in the past, in their roots, the state of exodus from egoism. And the rest will go and join “Israel.” There is absolutely no question about this. The whole point is to raise Jews.

Question: What is your prayer today?

Answer: My prayer today is to fulfill the role of Moses, to pull out this head part of all of humanity, which is called Israel, aspiring to the Creator, and which in potential can aspire to the Creator, to pull it out of such, I would say,  a somnambulistic state, and begin to excite them so that they themselves at least somehow try to want, to worry, and to rise forward to the exit.

Question: Is it in order that at least a thought arises that it is necessary to get out of egoism? But first, you always say that egoism is bad. Or is it not?

Answer: Egoism is bad depending on how you measure, weigh, look at, feel, smell, and taste it. But in fact, egoism is everything that gives you taste and life.

And altruism, freedom, what is it in? You go out into the field, and you do not know what, what for, or why.

Moses is not one person, in principle. It is a whole group of people who understand that the future lies in getting out of egoism. How can we get out of it? This needs to be studied and we should begin to apply it between us. And each time we take each step, it is done again out of the darkness, when we allegedly do not see any attraction in egoism, when we begin to try to get out of it and find that it holds us for all our feelings, for everything! And you cannot get rid of it.

And then we should only stick together and cry out.
[297234]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/14/22

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Comment: Psychologists say that one of the factors to prevent divorces and quarrels is to sleep in a shared bed, necessarily under the same blanket where you must either settle the relationship or improve it. You have no where to go. They say that there should not be, in the literal sense, a gap between husband and wife, different beds, rooms.

As far as I understand, this is a modern view, it somehow differs from our forefathers. The male and female halves were separated then.

My Response: There has always been a separate male and female bed. They didn’t sleep together.

Question: Tell me then, why, from a spiritual point of view, should the male and female each have their own half, their own part?

Answer: Because initially we are two halves.

Question: And in us, in a person, is male and female also divided?

Answer: Of course!

Question: In every person?

Answer: Not only in every person. In every atom, in every piece of information. There is no such thing that the nine Sefirot and the tenth Malchut are connected. Only after they are ready for this, and on the basis of mutual collision does penetration occur. A new life is born out of this. But all this is only temporary. It is an act and nothing more.

Question: Now the basis is clear, why they should be separate. Then the question is will they ever be connected?

Answer: In no way, never! This will be a clear and correct interaction between creation and the Creator.

Question: Is this the union of male and female, where the Creator is male and creation is female?

Answer: Yes. This is the same as the question: Will egoism ever disappear? It won’t disappear. It will be used correctly in our connection.

Question: Then the Kabbalistic question is: “And what is the final correction?“

Answer: It is when egoism and altruism interact with each other correctly and maintain a clear balance between each other.

Altruism is male, and egoism is the female inclination. They understand that one cannot manifest without the other.
[310956]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/4/22

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Question: There is a psychological attitude called “postponed or delayed life syndrome.” This is when a person perceives his life as a draft or a rehearsal before something big and meaningful, which will come later in the future, as if people are going to live forever.

There is an example of a senator who wakes up and suddenly prestige and political success no longer are important to him, despite the fact that he is a politician. He really wants to enjoy life: have breakfast with a friend, be in the company of his wife, and read a book or a magazine.

What happened? He was diagnosed with cancer. Is this really the only thing that can prompt a person to suddenly wake up and start living?

Answer: Of course! Undoubtedly! When he is certainly promised a close end, everything else just disappears from the horizon and loses its importance. Everything.

Question: Does everything that was the most important thing in life suddenly become vanity? Is this the kind of fear we should experience?

Answer: Of course! Precisely! It is like Woland said in The Master and Margarita. One cannot escape that.

Comment: Actually, this does not really say why the mind is given to us, to Homo sapiens (wise men).

My Response: It is only so that we realize that this is how we live. As soon as the end is clearly known to us, then everything other than the end can no longer interest us.

Question: Do we suddenly start looking for real values when we know the end is here?

Answer: But what can we find if the end is here?

Comment: This senator found some simple truth.

My Response: Go for a drink, have a meal with friends and with a woman, and so on. All this also happens after the reassessment of these events and values. Therefore everything loses its taste. There is nothing left here but to live every second that you have so that you feel less pain. That is all.

Question: And more enjoyment?

Answer: He just needs drugs and that is it. Switch off calmly, my friend.

Question: Then what do you call a true moment that was lived correctly, with dignity?

Answer: I am not in favor of living for just one moment at all. That is not my philosophy.

My philosophy is that life should consist of such moments constantly, from moment to moment, again and again. Then it will be possible to think that this cancer, or some other fatal disease, or the end in general, which everyone has by the way, are not important. And then a person will clearly understand what is given to him, why, for what, how he should live it, what to leave, and what to do with himself.

Question: What should we invest in these moments? Let’s say I agree with you: live every moment and prepare for the next moment.

Answer: Elevate yourself above your animalistic nature and as quickly and brightly as possible,  more effectively achieve the quality of bestowal and love, which does not relate to our world. And thus, as they say, prepare yourself for the future world. That is all. It will be a very effective use of this world, this life, for the sake of the future world and the future life.

Question: Do you think that when a person is given such a limit, called an “incurable disease” or something, it is done precisely for this?

Answer: Yes, for this! It is necessary to prepare people who will serve these so-called unfortunate. I do not consider them unfortunate. I believe that they have been given a great opportunity to correct themselves, change themselves, and raise themselves to the level of the next world.

Question: To the level of this love?

Answer: Yes. May they enter it with no problems.

Question: Does it turn out that those who remain in this world that burn it with the pleasures of this world are the unfortunate ones?

Answer: Yes. The others can already rise to this in advance! Suddenly they see there is no disease. Then the question is: Why did I do all this? 🙂 Someone deceived me so meanly.

Question: Yes. The doctors will say, “My dear, everything is fine with you.” Is this such a trick that the Creator does with a person? Are you really for such tricks?

Answer: I am in favor of deceiving a person so that he solves the correct equation with his life and death. And in order for him to change his life based on this decision.

Question: Does the word “deceived” not bother you?

Answer: No, of course not. This is an egoist! He should be deceived big time! We should trick egoism all our lives, the way it tricks us now. This is already a serious, borderline deception.
[310706]
From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 7/4/22

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Question: The holiday of Passover tells about the way the Jewish people came out of Egyptian slavery. In fact, for Kabbalists, it sounds different. There is our egoism, our nature, and we talk about how we come out of this egoism.

I have a feeling now that this is not a Jewish holiday, but a worldwide holiday, especially considering the events that have happened in the world.

What does the Passover holiday mean for the world? How do you feel about this?

Answer: The world feels that it feels bad. But it does not know what the reason is. What the cure for the fact that it feels bad, it does not know either. Like a child: he just feels bad and that is it. There is no recognition of evil, that is, it does not know what the cause of suffering is.

And the reason for suffering is a large, sharp increase in egoism, which sometimes freezes a little and suddenly grows with a jerk.

Question: Does it mean that it is impossible to say that the world feels like it is inside Egyptian slavery, under the slavery of egoism?

Answer: It depends only on the way people feel. But they just feel that they feel bad.

Question: Has the Passover holiday not reached humanity yet?

Answer: I think it is not quite right to call it a holiday. The world does not feel that its egoism is the cause of all its suffering.

But it is necessary to feel that! If we begin to look closely at our egoistic nature, at how we treat each other, then we can conclude that our whole world is evil because we are such egoists, because we wish evil to each other, and we are in opposition, in contradiction, in internal and external confrontation with each other. We are slaves of this egoistic force that guides us, twists us, and pushes us.

To recognize the evil of our nature is the most important thing. Because after that we can already come to an understanding of how to get rid of it.

Question: If we assume that a person begins to feel this, what will his thoughts be? How can one get rid of this? Except for the inner cry: “I want to get rid of it! I do not want to be an egoist!”—what else do we need?

Answer: Nothing! Only to demand from nature that it change us. Nothing else. We do not have to make any extra effort because there is really nothing we can do. If we are inside egoism, then any of our attempts and actions will still be egoistic, and we will only deceive ourselves with them.

What we can do, however, is to gather, discuss our state, conclude that it is simply terrible, and that there is no way for us to get rid of it ourselves unless we just convince our nature to leave us alone, that we do not want to be under the control of egoism. Take away from us this alien will, this upper force, so that it does not command each of us and does not push us against each other!

Question: Will a person then have a feeling that he is under the control of the Pharaoh?

Answer: Yes, that he is a slave to the evil force of nature. Then he will begin to understand this story correctly. He will begin to treat it correctly, that in fact, this evil nature was created in such a way on purpose. By whom? By a positive force, the Creator, so that we turn to Him personally, so that He removes this evil nature from us.

If we convince the Creator to remove this evil egoistic force that pushes us against each other and does not give us peace, then this will become a truly worldwide holiday in which everyone is interconnected, in which everyone begins to treat each other correctly—with love, with knowledge, and with the understanding that we are one, a single system.

Question: What is “the people’s exit out of slavery”? Are people the whole world?

Answer: Absolutely the whole world.

Question: What about the leader who leads them? The Torah says Moshe or Moses—what is it?

Answer: This is from the word “Moshech,” pulling. It is the force that pulls people out of their egoism.

This force comes from above. The force of recognition of the evil in which we were, and the good in which we can be.

Question: Do you think that humanity should reach out to this force?

Answer: Everyone should feel from within himself that he is shouting, that he wants this. We need nothing else. There is no need to follow any people, leaders, redeemers, messiahs, and so on. We do not need anything else.

Question: What is freedom then? After all, this is a holiday of freedom.

Answer: Freedom from egoism, freedom from the fact that you are under the influence of evil all the time and it is your inner evil that pushes you to be evil to others. All this is the holiday of redemption. This is the holiday of spring.

Only egoism is the cause of our suffering. There is nothing else. There are only two forces in the world: positive and negative.

Question: Then why do we not just concentrate on this point?

Answer: We do not want to, we resist with all our might just not to get close to it because we are all egoists. Only in egoism do I feel myself and the whole world. I cannot imagine how to feel the world outside of this quality.

Question: In principle, does the wisdom of Kabbalah speak only about this—how to feel who you are, your nature, and how to exit it?

Answer: Yes.

Question: What to do to make people start doing it?

Answer: If we do not want to do it, we will be forced to. But everything will be fine.
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From KabTV’s “News with Dr. Michael Laitman” 4/15/22

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