Genuine beauty of life, warmth, love, support, and a sense of security, all this comes to us from the mother, then from the family, then from our loved ones, and after that, from the environment, we build ourselves. We strengthen this environment, having once entered it as young couples, and secure it for our children.

All generations: grandparents, mothers and fathers, children, and grandchildren, all connect with each other, together forming the “fabric” of mutual agreement. In this manner we come to unity, to a feeling of wholeness and harmony, which liberates us from all misfortunes and problems. Moreover, it allows us to understand how to structure the entire human society correctly, within a country and in the world.

In the creation of a harmonious family, I see the recovery of a human being. And in order to sow this seed, we need a fertile soil: a caring and loving environment. Then let us all together start to “till the soil,” to learn how to build a society where we would feel good, on which we could lean in order to create strong families and to mutually support each other.

We will find everything here: confidence in the present and the future, health, education, culture, and good relationships. Here, everyone will be well and happy, because this form of human interaction is the closest one to nature.

The family is most closely adjacent to the central point, from which we evolved to become human beings and to build the rest of the circles more and more widely, ultimately embracing the entire world.

Only in this way will we succeed in handling all the challenges of modern times: the rehabilitation of a family will stimulate us to change other areas as well. We will start, at last, to make contact with our souls, to smile at each other with our hearts, and after that, we will live in a new way. A true bond with a beloved person will help each of us to extend threads of connection toward others.

Without this, we are flawed. This is why I wish for all of us to avoid theft – not to steal from one another the warmth, which a mother once bestowed upon us. We can maintain the fire in that hearth so it will warm our life’s partner, our kids, close and distant people, everyone without exception. Therein lies the secret of our common happiness.
[143817]
From KabTV’s “A New Life,” 7/22/13

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Question: During the work in an “aquarium,” from our perspective, the married couples were completely rediscovered. Their arrival and departure had an immense influence on dissemination and group relationships.

Both partners in every couple carried out their activities like “trucks” in comparison to “bicycles.” How much of this is a perspective? Is it worthwhile to nurture this, or the opposite, is it preferable to suppress it?

Answer: We are now moving into a very serious conflict, not even a conflict, but continuous crisis and difficulty in familial relationships. It will continue until people will completely lose attraction to married life, not maintaining sexual relationships, what is called a “family,” or taking mutual obligations into account: education for children, common housekeeping, etc. The ego will not let a person submit to any of those foundations, and we are seeing how all this is collapsing.

And after this a serious reversal will happen. People will begin to understand that to attain spirituality there is no partner more faithful and close than a husband or wife: He or she, will build a spiritual connection only on a basis of spiritual ascent. Specifically this, and their mutual acceptance will determine their relationships, the love between one another. Their dream will be the appearance of a spiritual baby among them, meaning the discovery of the Creator.

I hope that now we will begin to pass through this breaking point in humanity and then a spiritual attitude towards marriage will appear among us. Currently, it is possible only to dream about a situation like this. I don’t think that today this is an actuality among us.

We are still searching and running around with a lack of understanding, with a “lack of order” between outside and inside. We have not yet established the collective illumination of Light that would show us that specifically the first nucleus, which is not social but spiritual, is prepared between a man and a woman.

It could very well be that today there are couples who can cooperate mutually like this, but in general this is very difficult. We have not yet reached this level because we are in stages which are torn apart by the ego. In the meantime, we have no awareness that the truest, most spiritual and closest partner, where there are no secrets, is your husband or wife.

I don’t know how much time will be required for this. At present, humanity is passing through more difficult situations than familial problems. Today the question of freedom in Africa generates more interest than family matters. Very gradually we will reach this, too.
[142848]
From the Convention In Sochi 8/25/14, Lesson 3

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The Torah, “Leviticus” (Metzora), 15:19-15:21, 15:24: If a woman has a discharge, her flesh discharging blood, she shall remain in her state of menstrual separation for seven days, and whoever touches her shall become unclean until evening. And whatever she lies on during her menstrual separation, shall become unclean, and whatever she sits on, shall become unclean. And anyone who touches her bedding, shall immerse his garments and immerse [himself] in water, and he shall remain unclean until evening. If a man cohabits with her, [the uncleanness of] her menstruation shall be upon him, and he shall be unclean for seven days, and any bedding he lies upon, shall become unclean.

This speaks about the division of the pure and the impure desires. Touching an impure desire is being infected by the Light. A spiritual contact takes place when I somehow recognize myself with my ego. Therefore I have to enter an ark and shut myself from the egoistic desires and constantly be in a spiritual shell.

The Torah, “Leviticus” (Metzora), 15:25: And a woman whose flow of blood flows for many days, outside of the time of her menstrual separation, or she has a discharge after her menstrual separation, then all the days she has her unclean discharge, she shall be unclean just like the days of her menstrual separation.

In the past women kept away from the house chores during their monthly period and waited until it was over. Today there are tribes who still keep this custom.

When the period was over a woman used to purify herself and then get back the house chores. It was all according to the law of branch and root. But in our world, people tried to follow the external form of the Torah instead of observing it not only externally but internally as well.

The Torah, “Leviticus” (Metzora), 15:29: And on the eighth day, she shall take for herself two turtle doves or two young doves, and bring them to the Cohen, to the entrance of the Tent of Meeting.

A purified woman takes her corporeal desires and raises them to the level of the Cohen (priest), the level of Bina. In that case Malchut rises to Bina and is ready to receive the Upper Light. It is ready for the next level.
[142557]
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 3/5/14

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The Torah, “Leviticus” (Metzora), 15:19: If a woman has a discharge, her flesh discharging blood, she shall remain in her state of menstrual separation for seven days, and whoever touches her shall become unclean until evening.

It is about the revelations of very serious corrections of Malchut and the cycle of the moon to which everything is connected in our world. In the past all the women in Israel had their monthly period at the same exact time of the month, for one week in which the discharge of the blood occurred at the same time for all the women together: on the same day at the beginning of the month. This indicates that by being corrected under the clear influence of the moon they were connected into one woman.

The moon symbolizes our resemblance to the sun. An eclipse of the moon by the earth or the revelation of its illumination symbolizes the level of correction. On the whole we bless the new moon since we begin to work on the revelation of the moon, which means on our resemblance to the Creator.

Eventually, after the end of correction, the two great lights will illuminate to the same extent: the big light, the sun, which symbolizes the Upper Light and the small light, the moon, which symbolizes the created being. This means that the moon symbolizes the level of our resemblance to the sun, to the Creator.

Therefore, previously, in the correct state, which means in the state of resembling the sun, the monthly period of all the women began at the same time. But when the ego entered these pure desires and the shattering occurred, the women’s period was disrupted. In any case, the moment the blood appears a woman should wait until the discharge of the blood ends and then consider herself impure for another seven days.

From a spiritual perspective, a discharge is the desires that cannot be corrected in a certain month and so they have to come out because they cannot be corrected. Once they have come out and the body has been cleansed and purified of them it is possible to work with them and to become pregnant. In our world to purify means to immerse in the Mikva and in the spiritual world it symbolizes the purification under the influence of the Upper Light.

When the discharge of the blood ends, the seed that the woman receives is nourished by the blood of the pure Sefirot that are left in her. Thus the white seed of the father and the red (blood) of the mother develop and an embryo is created. The Creator gives the soul, the Light, which connects them, and the next level is born.
[142487]
From KabTV’s “Secrets of the Eternal Book” 3/5/14

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Comments regarding a research study on kissing: What a strange thing the kiss is. Why do humans cling to each other with their lips and express their love in this way? Besides us, only chimpanzees do this.

Researchers have not found convincing or decisive evidence that the main function of kissing is to stimulate sexual arousal.

Scientists consider the main function of kissing to be very pragmatic and useful: This is to evaluate one’s partner. As far as it seems, humans who aspire to a long-term relationship ascribe great importance to kissing.

Those who conducted this research learned about many kinds of functions of romantic kissing through investigating the attitude towards the significance of kissing in various situations in the development of couples. The hypothesis about this was confirmed. Kissing serves a useful purpose – evaluation of the partner.

Women participants ascribe great importance to the evaluation of a partner, as well as great value to socio-sexual intent. They ascribe a greater degree of importance to kissing in romantic relationships, reporting that the first kiss can influence their attraction to a potential partner to a high degree of probability.

Men value the importance of kissing less, as well as people who don’t value socio-sexual intent. Regarding the importance of the kiss in the preliminary stage of mutual relationships they reported that partners don’t ascribe much importance to socio-sexual intent.

Women consider the kiss as being more significant in long-term relationships. Other than that, kissing is associated most of the time with a feeling of satisfaction in a mutual relationship. The authors of the study didn’t find significant evidence for the hypothesis that the main function of kissing is to arouse the partner.

My Response: According to the wisdom of Kabbalah, there are three levels of approach between spiritual objects: embracing, kissing, and coupling. These correspond to the three phases in the growth of a spiritual object: Ibur (conception) – immaturity, Yenika (suckling), Mochin (adulthood) – maturity. So, according to the law of the root, the cause, and the branch, the result, we must use connection between us as we would a kiss.
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Question: A series of family training, which we finished not long ago, ended for one of the married couples in such a big clash that they are actually separating now.

Answer: This means that they did not find the pleasant, secure, and perfect warmth of the mutual support that they were supposed to find in their mutual concessions.

Meaning, they made concessions against their will and under pressure because this is what was recommended. They did not make efforts to get used to them, and didn’t try playing with them and tuning them so that these actions could turn into a habit, second nature.

This stage of adjustment is quite long. Since we were not taught to make mutual concessions in school, in the University, or when we got married, we missed this approach for most of our life and now we have to make up for it.

Everything should be voluntarily, easily, in the form of a game. I aim myself not at making concessions, but at playing in them: in the proper relationship, in the correct family, in love.

We participate consciously in this game, and gradually it becomes our life. There is no lie in this, because by this we re-educate ourselves. We are set up like a computer; all kinds of programs were installed in us without asking us whether we agree or not, and now we live under their influence.

Usually people say: “Look at the parents of the bride or the groom, at their way of life, and you will understand who the bride or the groom is.” Usually it is this way. Therefore, we have to change ourselves, to bring ourselves to completely different mutual relationships, and this is possible only with the help of constant training, playing, that will become a habit.

For example, you can suggest the following exercise to married couples: “Think back to your last fight, when you threatened your wife with a fist, while she was ready to strike you with a frying pan. And now play it the other way around.” They, like in a movie, rotate the film back, approach each other, and try to solve the problem by rising above themselves. By this they create completely new characteristics within themselves, giving birth to a new nature: of bestowal, love, and mutual integration with each other.

We set ourselves up for what we want to see: only positive qualities in each other, as if there are no negative. Of course, they exist in everyone, but we do not see them. This means love. Love is when you look at you spouse and feel pleasure. Someone else looks and does not understand what you enjoy.

Such mutual common feeling, which the spouses reach, is their next spiritual degree, where they unite into one whole and begin to attain the highest state of nature. This is an active meditation, during which they do give birth to a new property, a new level of knowledge, feeling.

At the same time, they rise to such dimensions, where they begin to feel as they are managed by nature, and how they can now control it.
[136847]
From KabTV’s: “A Talk about the Family” 5/28/14

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Question: You explained that through a connection between two, a third completely new thing is born, and those two things disappear. But why doesn’t this happen in our world? A father and mother produce a child together, but they continue to live along with the child.

Answer: Connection is not a link between physical bodies but a union of desires. The physical bodies don’t connect because it is possible to take gametes from a father and mother and make a child in vitro.

But this is not called connection; connection happens with desires. Each one works with his desire, and then from two opposite desires, a third is born that includes both of them within it.

Connection is a shared existence of both desires on a higher level. Concession and nullification of the self within the connection doesn’t cause harm, rather the opposite, it adds fulfillment and makes it possible to rise even higher.

The desire to receive itself doesn’t ever disappear; this is the substance of creation. In the meantime, we temporarily nullify those desires that cannot be used for the sake of bestowal. With the desires that can be used in order to bestow, we combine in such a way that they create a third body called Adam (man/human), which includes both male and female within it.
[136853]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 6/08/14, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Question: Without a doubt many couples think that they are conceding to each other, without understanding that they are not doing this for another person but for themselves so that they will be left alone in peace. So what concessions should be made?

Answer: True concession is when I rein myself in, even though at that time I am ready to explode because I think I am right, but I begin to react to my partner according to how he or she would want me to respond. This means I am “clothed” in the other person.

This system should be developed and necessarily requires the support of the environment. Married couples must talk about these situations all the time and practice them in order to reach a state where habit becomes second nature.

Suppose the house is a mess. Why should you scold each other and say something superfluous? Go immediately to common ground, which is reciprocal and good. Begin to hug and kiss in the middle of this mess.

The main thing is that you should feel well. For with a feeling of happiness and love, you won’t even want to change anything and you will live in serenity all your life in the middle of this mess.

Sometimes you go into some apartment and everything is clean and spotless, but there is no warmth. Whereas at home, with you, there is warmth from an atmosphere of love, reciprocity, and  inner contact.

In a Japanese couplet it is written: “The child dies; how cold it will be at home; there is no longer someone who will pierce a hole in the window paper.” This means that as long as the child played pranks, warmth prevailed at home. Now the child is no more, and it will be cold.

That is how it is here also. Everything depends upon the feeling. This is the main thing to be done.
[136851]
From the program “A New Life” 5/28/2014

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Opinion (Natalia Voykova, Terra America columnist, gender issues expert): “Having received  the necessary freedom in the 20^th century, the woman began to settle in and change the modern world order; she is in no hurry to have children, but is she satisfied with this freedom?

“Both the left and the right constructed the modern woman – strong, self-sufficient, educated, business-like, single. According to the logic of capitalism, the struggle for women’s rights was a struggle for the right to consume without looking at the man.

“The oppositionist’s image evokes sympathy; it is always fashionable to be ‘opposed’ – and today it means to be a conservative – and that means society is on the way to unisex – to a new type of human being, new power in the surrealistic virtual world, in which men and women are equal.

“A combination of male and female in the modern woman is her integral part. The woman is no longer chasing a man: she overtakes him. Opportunities began to be shared not between men and women, but between capable and incapable. As a result, we see no great inequality between men and women, but between women. The level of inequality is determined by education.

2. Well-educated people marry each other. And vice versa. This is how unisex society is formed.

3. Further, there is a society of ‘hen’ – a cross between ‘he’ and ‘she.’ In Germany, the gender in a newborn is abolished. The first sexless person has been registered in Australia.

“The bottom line: civilization has nearly lost the woman in the pursuit of a woman.”

My Comment: Family life will come back into fashion after the “recognition of evil” in progress with the result that in the end the woman got nothing …
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Question: The family influences every aspect of a person’s life. If a person has a problem in the family, he cannot actively participate in the group or in any kind of work. The more we advance, the more we understand that without the group’s support it is practically impossible to hold on in the framework of the family. How can we establish an environment that will support a person in that respect?

Answer: A family is just like the group. Otherwise it could not exist in this world.

But today there is a crisis in the family and everyone is getting divorced and no one wants to live a normal life. Everyone understands that the traditional family doesn’t exist anymore, which means that a new type of family should emerge.

In the future, people will live with one another partly for the sake of the children, for the common property, but mainly for the idea. If I feel that I advance and my wife advances too, since our goal is above all the daily corporeal differences between us, our family will stand the test of time.

I believe that a person should raise himself to this level when he chooses a partner for life according to this idea.

My teacher, Rabash, used to say that from a physical perspective, it is enough that two young people like each other and the appearance of one doesn’t repel the other and that’s all. Everything else is meaningless since they are spiritual partners.

In order to achieve this, we have to develop the group this way, so that women take part in it, disseminate, and are incorporated into meals and into all group matters.

We should pay attention to them and treat them like partners, so they will feel how important they are and will feel that they benefit from this kind of life and from their participation in it.

By the way, a woman can incorporate into everything very easily, especially if she participates in it with her husband and they share views rather than just physical aspects.

We should pay attention and engage in this. Otherwise, there will be a divorces and the formation of new families. We have no other choice. Even if we had a choice, we would still have to include women in dissemination and in our collective life. Respect them, pay attention to them, and give them a place.
[134116]
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 4/24/14, Questions and Answers with Dr. Laitman

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