Entries in the 'Man and Woman' Category

One Fate For All

laitman_629_4Question: What is a woman’s fate and what is a man’s fate according to the wisdom of Kabbalah?

Answer: All of mankind have the same fate. The Creator gives every person a specific opportunity to get close to Him. Implementing this opportunity is called a successful fate and not fulfilling it is called an unsuccessful fate.

This is the only way a person’s fate is expressed, nothing else matters.
[189386]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 3/20/16

Related Material:
How Can You Affect Your Fate?
Becoming The Master Of Your Destiny
The Right To Change One’s Destiny

Man And Woman — A Magnet Between Them, Part 1

laitman_602_02Question: Where does the force of magnetic attraction between a man and a woman that awakens at a very young age come from?

Answer: Our universe began to develop approximately 14 billion years ago as a result of the Big Bang that created a completely new place, a new creation, which didn’t exist before.

Matter began to form that initially consisted of two opposite particles: a positive and a negative, a plus, and a minus.

Plus refers to the masculine and minus to the feminine. One cannot exist without the other. Probably in the very first particle, which served as a prototype of all matter, plus and minus existed together.

After that, minus and plus began to spread more and more and to create between themselves increasingly complex compounds, electrons and protons. From their meeting and collaboration were born all of the basic elements of the periodic table, which number almost 120 today.

From these elements larger objects were formed, i.e., gas accumulations, solid objects, and the planet Earth, where this collaboration of minus and plus developed further. Atoms combined into molecules and into crystals. Molecules became organic, alive, meaning they contained within themselves their development program.

The art of connecting plus and minus evolved from the inanimate to the vegetative stage, then to the animate, and finally to the human. The connection between plus and minus, masculine and feminine particles in nature became incredibly complicated.

On the inanimate degree, substances are classified according to the number of positive and negative particles, and valences. And even more so after the inanimate substance develops in a plant that grows from inanimate soil that it is able to give birth to itself and develop; all development takes place by connecting pluses and minuses according to a certain program.

Each creature has an internal program, like in a computer that creates within it increasingly complicated connections.

For this reason, a plant grows and continues to live; otherwise it would have been dead. The relationship between two “genders,” plus and a minus, is very complex in plants. And these relationships exist not only within each plant, but also between them.

The connection between flowers is performed with the help of birds and insects that connect pluses and minuses. It isn’t just the atoms and molecules anymore, but a special connection of chemical and biological substances that are also divided into “male” and “female.”

The evolution of the plant world continues until it reaches the animate degree, where there is a huge difference between male and female. Special types of relations occur between them according to the seasons. It is an entire culture of relationships even though it is controlled by instincts.

A human, as the highest stage of animate development, creates a special culture, education, environment, and human society. Therefore he stands out from the animal world and is superior to it. In humanity there are very complex relationships between plus and minus, i.e., men and women who live their lives together.

Throughout history a man and a woman created a joint family for quite a long time because they needed each other in order to raise their children, which requires many years. After all, the more developed the creature is, the more time is required for its development.

A big difference is obvious between the interaction of positive and negative elementary particles that arose during the creation of our universe and between things that happen to people. It even seems to us that a person has a freedom of choice and adds something to his program of development by determining his behavior himself, especially in regard to relationships between the sexes.

But in fact, we add nothing to the program of nature. Exactly like an animal, a plant, and a stone, a human obeys natural instincts and behaves according to the program installed in him or her, which manifests and leads to the ultimate goal.
[188875]
From KabTV’s “New Life #709” 4/5/16

Related Material:
Man And Woman – Such Different Worlds, Part 3
The War Of The Sexes, Part 1
Man And Woman, Unity Of Opposites

New Life 711 – What Women Want

New Life 711 – What Women Want
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Tal Mandelbaum ben Moshe

A man and woman are like plus and minus; they must eventually reach a balance, the correct connection between them; the man must give and the woman receives. She must want the right thing and he must fulfill this desire correctly. We cannot fulfill ourselves, only others, so the right connection between right and left is through finding the middle line between them.

In our day everyone is “out of order”; women want the incorrect fulfillment of false substitutes for their desires. The natural desire of a woman is first of all a family, but in the last century we have lost our direction regarding this matter. We have built an artificial world for ourselves in which life is difficult, the family unit is collapsing, and children are neglected.

The solution depends on an education for attaining the spiritual goal within relationships and family, as a gift that will uphold, “When husband and wife are worthy, the Shechina abides with them” (Sotah 17a). Fundamentally, a woman wants connection with the upper force through her husband. Throughout our history we developed through our desires until we felt an inclination for discovery of the inner essence, the supreme power, unconditional love.

The goal of alliance between partners is the discovery of the one supreme power that controls nature, our source, to which we must return to in unison. A woman wants that same power of love to dwell in her family because this is a safe, complete and eternal state. Through love between us we reach the revelation of the higher power of unconditional love.
[181942]
From KabTV’s “New Life 711 – What Women Want,” 4/7/16

icon for podpress Video: Play Now | Download
icon for podpress Audio: Play Now | Download

New Life 710 – Between The Sexes, Character Or Beauty?

New Life 710 – Between The Sexes, Character Or Beauty?
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

What characteristics do men and women focus on when choosing partners; how does the environment influence our decision, and what is the attitude of the wisdom of Kabbalah to human beauty?

Currently models of feminine beauty have been created for us, and we act according to them. According to the laws of nature, a woman checks a man’s ability to provide her with a secure familial nest and how he will take care of her. According to his nature, a man wants a woman that will be pleasant for him to come home to, who will be like his mother.

Today everything is broken, but this is the original nature. A man has a problem with renewal. When he gets used to something, he is no longer attracted to it. With a man, sex and emotional attachment are two different things, whereas with a woman both of them are linked together. To understand everything that connects men and women, one must learn about their spiritual roots more deeply.
[181666]
From KabTV’s “New Life 710 – Between The Sexes, Character Or Beauty?” 4/5/16

icon for podpress Video: Play Now | Download
icon for podpress Audio: Play Now | Download

New Life 709 – The Attraction Between Men And Women

New Life 709 – The Attraction Between Men And Women
Dr. Michael Laitman in conversation with Oren Levi and Yael Leshed-Harel

The inner software in nature develops the connection between the male and the female particles into a more complex relationship. The relationship between a man and a woman is the most complex.

Animals choose their mates according to their strength and their health, thinking of their future offspring, but we choose what society considers beautiful instead of what is naturally best for us. There is one social norm that defines beauty and doesn’t allow everyone to choose what is best for him according to his nature.

At the end of a hundred years of confusion, man needs to examine his situation today and to realize the cause of his troubles. Lack of satisfaction with a good relationship or family relations is the cause of all the other problems in human society. There is undoubtedly a right mate for everyone since we are all products of the same system that we have to return in pairs.
[181268]
From KabTV’s “New Life 709 – The Attraction Between Men And Women,” 4/5/16

icon for podpress Video: Play Now | Download
icon for podpress Audio: Play Now | Download

From Adam’s Rib

laitman_243_05Question: How can you explain the fact that the woman was created from Adam’s rib from a Kabbalistic perspective?

Answer: This is an incorrect translation of Hebrew.

In the spiritual world there is a male part, the part that bestows, and a female part, the part that receives. The female part, Malchut, was created from the male part, Zeir Anpin (the Creator).

Malchut is a point, a desire in a state of smallness. When it ascends up to the chest of Zeir Anpin, up to the part that is called the spiritual ribs, it receives Light through Zeir Anpin and becomes a spiritual Partzuf (a body) or a soul that exists separately, but is still adhered to Zeir Anpin.

This is what is meant when it says that the woman was supposedly created from the man’s rib.
[188527]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 3/6/16

Related Material:
An Action With Thousands Of Years Of Consequences
Only The Creator Gives Us The Soul
The Forbidden Fruit: The Second Failed Attempt

Husband And Wife: Spiritual Advancement

Laitman_630_1Question: If a husband and wife are reflections of each other’s characteristics, they are practically doubles apparently, possessing similar desires and a natural feeling of closeness to each other. How can they advance together in the best way?

Answer: That is also how they must progress. If that is how they are connected to each other, it is up to them to feel how they help each other and advance together. Conflicts are constantly created between them and greater and greater possibilities for attachment.
[188524]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 3/6/16

Related Material:
The Kabbalistic Principle – “Mutual Concessions”
An Ideal Family
The Family Of The Future Is A Fusion Of Minds And Hearts

Blitz Of Kabbalah Tips – 3/6/16

laitman_599_01Question: Can a woman advance in spirituality if she mainly watches the men’s group on the screen?

Answer: Of course. A man can also advance in spirituality if he only watches the men’s group on the screen. Everything depends on the desire, the assertiveness, the persistence, and the yearning.

Question: Is it possible to find the ideal husband with the wisdom of Kabbalah?

Answer: It is not possible to find an ideal husband and there is no need to look for one either. The wisdom of Kabbalah cannot help here. The ideal partner for men and for women is the Creator.

Question: Do a husband and a wife draw further away from each other because their attributes change?

Answer: On the contrary, the different attributes enable a husband and a wife to get even closer to each other above all the differences.

Question: Has your wife attained the attribute of bestowal?

Answer: It is our private family secret.

Question: What is the spiritual root for a coupling of a man and a woman?

Answer: This phenomenon has no spiritual root. Similar actions that take place in the spiritual world are called coupling of beating, which we study when we study the spiritual Partzufim.

Question: I want to study the wisdom of Kabbalah but there are other things that interest me more, what should I do?

Answer: You have to find out what is more important for you in life.

Question: If a husband and a wife study together, watch the lessons together, read the sources together, and have workshops, do they need a group?

Answer: They will actually feel whether it is important to have a group or not. But they should both agree on it. If one of them still wants to be part of a group he or she has the right to do so.

Question: Can a father and daughter interact like a Kabbalistic group?

Answer: No.

Question: Is there such a thing as great love in the wisdom of Kabbalah? Not falling in love, but a great love between a man and a woman?

Answer: If you are referring to love between a man and woman in our world, it has nothing to do with the wisdom of Kabbalah! The wisdom of Kabbalah engages in the relationship between the souls, while in our world we engage in the relationship between physical bodies.

Question: Why do so many women who study the wisdom of Kabbalah find it difficult to find a husband?

Answer: Do other women find husbands? I think your question refers to general statistics. In our group, on the other hand, couples get married all the time and have children. Of course there are problems, but the rate of divorce compared to the world’s is scant.

Question: Does the wisdom of Kabbalah have a special approach to everyday life? How could it be that a Kabbalist has to somehow change his actions? For example, engage in his spiritual work for a couple of hours and spend the rest of the time living anyway he wants to and let everything work out by itself.

Answer: No one is forcing you to do anything differently. You can act this way! But then you will see that the wisdom of Kabbalah gradually fills your daily life. When you advance you will feel that you can also implement your spiritual work while you work, in your everyday life, and also when you communicate with others. Why not it if you can profit from it?
[188530]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 3/6/16

Related Material:
Blitz Of Kabbalah Tips – 2/14/16
Blitz Of Kabbalah Tips – 2/7/16
Blitz Of Kabbalah Tips – 1/24/16

Young People Are Losing Interest In Marriage

laitman_547_05In the News (Russian Bazaar): “‘No one disputes the fact that the institution of marriage is dying, – says Bauer.- The question is how to deal with this fact. We can not turn back the clock and make the church a major institution in the country. Also, we can not force the young to have the reverent and sacred attitude toward marriage inherent in the older generations. So maybe everything that happens – is for the better ’

“If the ‘anti-marriage’ trend does not change, then already in 2025, Americans will be much more likely to get divorced than to marry.”

My Comment: Growing egoism separates people from each other more and more. Bringing them together is possible only by the upper Light. Studying the wisdom of Kabbalah spurs and summons the action of the Light. Otherwise we will see masses who are estranged from each other.
[188286]

Related Material:
Why Marry?!
America Retreats From Marriage
What Distinguishes The Family Of The Future?

Corporeal Problems And Spiritual Development

laitman_627_1Question: Should a woman have only one spiritual root that ties her to one man while a man can have several women?

Answer: We shouldn’t tie corporeal problems to spiritual development. We develop both physically and spiritually and the two aspects should not be mixed.

Personally I don’t interfere and don’t give my students any advice.

Adults who come to study the wisdom of Kabbalah are interested in spiritual development, so focus on that and study it! Other than that, our physical body has different requirements and natural needs (food, sex, family, money, respect, control, and knowledge) and we have to fulfill them to the degree that doesn’t interfere with our spiritual development.

There is no need to delve into the psychology of the corporeal bodies. It has nothing to do with the wisdom of Kabbalah. We have to engage in our spiritual development and from ourselves we will draw advice for ourselves and our family life.
[187755]
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 3/6/16

Related Material:
How Should We Relate To Unfaithfulness?
Men, Women, And Second Marriages
About Men And Women In The Spiritual World