Answer: To begin with, the couple must build the right mutual relationships between them. The idea is not to break through to the upper world immediately.
Our world is built according to the upper world. So first and foremost it is necessary to create a mutual connection built on the basis of mutual concessions, which is one of the working principles in a group of Kabbalists.
When I come to a group, I must nullify myself completely in regard to the others; I must become integrated with the friends, give them what they require, serve them, and do everything to connect with them.
Similarly, a married couple must operate mutually, he for her and she for him. Moreover, this must be done within reason without dwelling on the other. Rather, their relationship must be built carefully and sensibly
If we want to create a group that works according to Kabbalistic principles in a family, we must precisely establish the conditions that are written in the first 15 articles by Rabash about constructing a group. It doesn’t matter with whom we are mutually cooperating, with a partner or with the friends in a group. In every case, what is built is a system of mutual connection, of right and left lines, characteristics of reception and characteristics of bestowal, of one person with another.
From the Kabbalah Lesson in Russian 3/6/16