Our desire to receive was created on purpose with such special attributes, that it is prone to rest (in the sense that our ego understands the concept of rest). That is to say, that we want to receive pleasure, fulfillment, to find release, to relax. Thus any action that is against our desire to receive demands us to use force to make an effort in order to strength us in “awareness.”

Let’s suppose in a certain moment I forget my state, my work, because the desire to receive, my egoistic nature, aspires to rest. So how can I push myself, how can I check myself and return again to awareness in relation to the goal, according to adhesion to the Creator? The person himself is unable to do this, but only with the help of the society. This means through an external factor that can operate on him.

If I, on purpose, prepare and organize such an environment for myself, then it will move and inspire me. Without that, I have no possibility to promise that in the future I will be connected and aimed at the goal of creation each moment: the unity of “Israel, the Torah, and the Creator.”

This way is called the path of the Light, the path of accelerating time (Achishena). Through the strong support of the environment, I progress, constantly searching, like an old man who walks bent who constantly looks for what he lost, even before he lost it. I am constantly checking myself if I didn’t deviate from the correct direction of Israel, Torah, and the Creator as being one. Checking if I haven’t lowered the demands through which I appraise my loyalty to the goal of the Creator.

If I forget the goal, then only the environment can quickly return me to awareness and remind me of ascent. But if that doesn’t happen, then in any case the Creator helps me in sending me reminders and putting me back on the path, but already through means that are not so pleasant. I feel some sort of loss and absence, sorry for my actions or state of unpleasant events. The Creator reminds me by making me feel sorry that I lose out in my spiritual work or on some corporeal problem in my regular life.

The method of influence depends on that, on how far I distanced myself from the direction of the unity of Israel, the Torah, and the Creator. If I remain within certain limits that are close to the same path, and don’t deviate from the main road, then the society brings me back in the right direction. But if I forgot the goal and didn’t prepare the correct environment for myself that will hold me within the correct borders, then I will completely deviate from the path of the Light and will go on the path of suffering.
[119273]
From the 1^st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/28/13, Shamati #70 “With a Mighty Hand and with Fury Poured Out”

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The path to revelation consists of implementing all conditions, again and again, on each degree, until a person comes to the limitless, endless revelation, a perfect adhesion. He reaches adhesion on each degree. Each degree is similar to the next one, the difference is only in the quality and quantity of the details that get accumulated there and make us perceive a degree as a new world every time.

“Israel, the Torah, and the Creator are one” derives from the fact that initially, we are in the world of Infinity, fully merged with the force of the Creator, the force of Light. There, there is no difference between the vessel and the Light, and thus there is no Israel, meaning someone who aspires to the Creator. The created being becomes Israel only under condition that it is separated from the Creator but nevertheless aspires to adhere to Him and to reach adhesion, still remaining independent.

Two opposite conditions are needed: From one side, separation from the Creator, and from the other, adhesion. That is, one needs to remain independent—this is the entire meaning of creation.

Israel, the Torah, and the Creator have to connect for us all the time in their final form—as much as we are able to imagine this for now. The creature is equal to the Creator to the extent that it can envision the Creator’s image, His properties that have already been dressed onto the creature. We imagine ourselves as being at the end of the path already, meaning having completed our current degree, because we are unable to think of something beyond our current degree.

But we aspire at least for this, meaning we wish to become Israel and to reach full adhesion with the force of bestowal and love for the wicked and for the righteous, for the enemies and friends alike—till the end of correction. Although in reality, this is only our current degree. After all, everything that we can only imagine to ourselves, the entire creation from end to end, exists within this framework, this very tiniest Sefira, which is being revealed for us now, for the meantime. And still, we must imagine to ourselves that we want to reveal everything, correct everything, and to adhere to the Creator in everything. We want to do it so that the entire world becomes my soul, and all the properties are corrected to bestowal and love.

We picture ourselves corrected in this way, to aspire for this, we study and perform all the necessary actions for this in order to attain this final state: “Israel, the Torah, and the Creator are one.” But along the path towards attaining this goal, it’s necessary for us to fulfill the Creator’s commands, meaning to study all types of bestowal, which is what we do in the group. Most important is love for the friends in which all these notions are being clarified.

Having received such instruments out of love of friends, the vessels of Galgalta ve Eynaim, with their help you will be able to correct the receiving vessels, AHP, of that very degree, meaning those who are outside the framework of the group, to the degree when we start relating to everyone in exactly the same way. We relate to the group as to the place of our inner work and the source of strength. Yet, the real place of work is the AHP, meaning the entire world.

GE are created so as to take care of AHP. The breaking occurred namely for this reason, and the sparks of bestowal from GE penetrated into AHP. This way, the rudiments of correction were created in AHP. After all, without it, AHP has no hope for correction.

For this reason we need to always prepare ourselves in our GE, in the group, the studies, our connection, a friendly hug, and seminars, and afterward come out to work with the desires of AHP. The true realization is carried out in AHP, while preparation is in GE.

Although it seems to us as if we correct ourselves while working between ourselves in the group, essentially it is only the work of preparation.

Our work is called the “work of the Creator.” We do not act ourselves, the Light does. Meanwhile, each time, we need to reveal the area in which the Light will be able to work, as it is said: “Open the tip of the needle….” Our request, rising upwards as a prayer, MAN, opens the sluice to the Light, into which it enters and operates. The Creator carries out His work, and we need to only open the entrance for Him. This is called revealing the world: Each time we come to a new world.
[116637]
From Preparation for the Lesson 9/11/2013

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Preparation to the Lesson

Shamati #25 “Things that Come from the Heart“

The Book of Zohar — Selected Excerpts, “Beresheet (Genesis),” “He Carved a Carving in the Upper Light.” Item 1

Talmud Eser Sefirot, Vol. 1, Part 2, Item 1

Writings of Baal HaSulam, “The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose,” Lesson 8 

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The Creator is absolute good, writes Baal HaSulam in the article “The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose.” Indeed, the Creator is primary; He has no one to receive from; He is complete bestowal. If He gives, He gives goodness. Being primary means that He has nothing bad. This follows both from real attainment and from our intellectual conclusions.

But in this case, why do we see so many terrible things in our world? Of course, “There is none else besides Him” meaning the only acting force. Consequently, all comes from the Creator. How can it be that we feel our states as bad?

The fact is, Baal HaSulam explains that the management of the Creator is goal-oriented. In order to teach us, to lead us to the peak of awareness and understanding, the Creator has to take us through all sorts of rather unpleasant states. Due to them, we begin to discern what is good and what is bad, not in the eyes of our egoistic desire, as at the beginning, but in relation to the desire to bestow.

This scale is so opposite to the one built in us from birth that we do not even understand the essence of their oppositeness. We still have to discover it, and on the way it will be repeatedly presented to us in another form, in another shape, requiring a different approach. After all, every degree is opposite to the adjacent ones, both the lower and higher.

Thus, a person, of course, can never be sure of anything that he experiences. He only has the “anchor,” our world. Here, we are detached from spirituality and in every state return to this separation because with every step we need to fall to the lower degree, at least for a brief moment. We feel as if everything spiritual completely disappears, and then we ascend to a new degree.

The state of “this world” is special because here we can somehow exist without any intention, detached from spirituality. It may be an imaginary world, and yet we live in it, so to speak. Later we will see and understand that this is not existence, not being, but a kind of “fluctuation.” Nonetheless we can ascend the ladder of corrections only if we stand in this world, experience various phenomena in it, strengthen the group and try to make the necessary actions within it.

Here, we are engaged in dissemination; here, we want to see correction. Since we are not yet in the spiritual world, this imaginary, material world becomes the “foundation” for us, solid and unshakable. This means that the specificity of our group also comes out of this world.

Thus, the goal-oriented management of the Creator takes us through horrible states, peculiar to the process of growth, to the sublime and sweet fruit. It’s said that the advantage of light is known from the darkness. If the process is delayed, it also shows the height and the uniqueness of a particular creature. After all, the more complex the soul is, the more stages of growth it requires.

However, this is not directly related to its pace. We accelerate time when we desire changes every moment. If I have been in “business” for twenty years and have come nowhere, I should not reassure myself that I have a high soul that requires a long time for a “run-up.” No, I should judge my development not by the results, but by the speed of internal changes. That is what determines whether I go through the Light or through the darkness, by the path of the Torah or by the path of suffering.

And here, everything depends on the preparation from my side: If I prepare myself for changes, I accelerate time and turn the undesired path into the desired one. In fact, there is no “undesired” path. A person cannot admit, weeping, that the Creator leads him to the goal of creation. We are not a horde of slaves trudging to the absolute good, forced by a whip. This is simply impossible. No, at every stage and every moment, I have a choice between the path of the Torah and the path of suffering. The difference between them is determined by my preparation: whether I want to expose my state in advance and see how far it is from the goal of creation.

And the goal is my adhesion to the Creator, meaning a complete equivalence of form with Him. How is this possible? He is the desire to bestow and I am the desire to receive. We are polar opposites.

The fact is that the Creator sends me the Light that Reforms so my desire gets the “clothing” of bestowal. This is also called the “screen and the Reflected Light.” Thus, I become like Him.

But can I make sure that I advance in the correct direction? To do this, I have a group in which I have to work. If I really strive, I wait as the Creator performs the necessary actions on me, arranges “exercises” for me. I am ready for them; I want them and accept everything willingly, with joy and gratitude, blessing for the evil as well as for the good.

But how can I check myself in this? The criterion is the following: When the burdening of the heart comes, I am glad, glad that I get a place to work, that the Creator has not forgotten me and shows me the height of the next degree. Now, I lack only the Light to rise to it in the altruistic intention.

Thus, the burdening of the heart shows that now I can ascend to the property of bestowal. This is the difference between the path of the Torah and the path of suffering.
[119898]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/7/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Baal HaSulam, “The Essence of Religion and Its Purpose”: A more developed person recognizes in himself a greater amount of evil, and hence repels and separates the evil from within to a greater extent. The undeveloped senses in himself only a small amount of evil, and will therefore repel only a small amount of evil. As a result, he leaves all his filth within, for he does not recognize it as filth.

There is the highest, true picture of reality: the good and the evil in the eyes of the Creator. I am at the bottom and have to change my corrupt notion of good and evil according to the way He sees them.

Down here, everyone has his own scale, his own criteria. Everyone judges what is good and what is bad for him according to the yardstick of his egoism. This applies to our behavior with others, various activities, habits, etc. I can separate everything in life according to the categories of good and bad. Accordingly, I expect reward from good in this world or in the future world, and conversely, the bad promises me punishment here or there.

As a result, I am drawn to some things and try to stay away from other things. Everyone has his own “set table” (“Shulchan Aruch” is the code of laws and regulations); everyone determines for himself what he can get closer to and what to move away from according to his evaluation of reward and punishment. In Kabbalah, we add a higher “superstructure” to this, the criteria of good and bad things in the eyes of the Creator, according to which He rewards and punishes in order to bring a person closer to Himself.

So, I was assigned to turn my “set table,” to bring my analysis, definitions, and evaluations from my own realm to the realm of the Creator. I want to judge, see, recognize, and relate to the world as He does. It is said, “Make your desire as His desire.”

The whole method of correction is in essence a system or a machine, a device with which I change in myself the awareness of evil and good, switching it from the criteria of my evil inclination to the criteria of the Creator, the good inclination. We are talking about changing attitudes, feelings, and the principles of analysis and solutions; all of this fills my “container.” A basic program is transformed in me, which is designed for testing and decision-making, an expert system. Time after time, the Light comes and changes all of my inclinations.

With this, the “hardware” of the system remains the same: My “synapses” function as before; my “cells” still respond to impulses. But the Light gradually “reprograms” me, connects me in a new way, and creates new algorithms.

In this way, my spiritual “upgrade” is taking place, an upgrade from the original version of my own desire to the final version, the desire of the Creator. The method of correction develops time after time and increases the feeling of the realization of evil in me, helping me transform my view of the world, my tastes, and my mentality. Everything in me is gradually replaced with new parts, moreover, on my own accord and by my own desire.
[119893]
From the 4^th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/7/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Question: What does the ability of the group coming together each time before a new attack depend on?

Answer: It depends on the feeling that we are on the right path and that it is essential. We have to get closer together and to see that the connection between us is the only place for the revelation of the Creator. Everything that happens around the group is only meant to tighten the connections between us. The Creator cannot leave any opening. If I feel pressure on all sides: some pressure me, others shout at me and threaten me, and suddenly there is an opening, meaning a society, a group, a certain party, that invites me to join them and promises me that I will feel good with them, then I will surely run to them. But is this what the Creator wants of me?

So He must arrange a “siege” around you, so that you will have nowhere to run. Your enemies are already attacking you with knives, trying to slaughter you, and only if you have no choice, you begin to cry out to Him. Otherwise you will escape somewhere on the level of this world. It’s as if you enter a certain place and try to escape from it, looking for a way out. But both the first and the second doors are locked. Suddenly you find one door that is unlocked, so you will certainly escape in that direction.

But this would be a simple corporeal clarification and not the spiritual clarification that the Creator has prepared for us. The spiritual clarification takes place when you have no choice and have to turn to Him; then He saves you and raises you to Him, a certain level higher. So the clarification is possible only when you are in trouble, in a narrow spot. If you call the Creator from there, you receive the Light that Reforms that raises you.

The salvation, the Creator’s help, always comes through the Light; the Light reaches the vessels, corrects them, and you immediately ascend above all the interruptions. The next moment you encounter obstacles again; they become stronger and more sophisticated. Once again they close down on you on all sides and you try to escape, looking for a way out.

You should see how the Creator organizes such a sophisticated siege for you, which no one else can do. He operates through different people, through events, and eventually brings you to a state that you have no choice but to cry out to Him. Only thanks to the consolidation and the connection of the group that cries out to the Creator does it receive the Light that Reforms.

By the connection we understand that all the enemies and the troubles we encounter are not so bad and that it’s even a good thing, since they are help against you. Their pressure only helps us turn to the Creator. We don’t turn to the Creator in order to get rid of these troubles. They don’t worry us anymore. There is only one important thing and now we can ask the Creator to raise us above our nature, to resemble human beings a little, to resemble the Creator.

So the Creator’s help reaches a person when he is in a state of despair when he is about to jump into the Red Sea. It is possible, however, to advance without increasing the obstacles but by growing the connection. The sufferings don’t need to grow more intense, “neither them nor their reward”; that’s not the right way. I want to feel good every part of the way since I am advancing towards the Creator.

The end of correction is a state in which no interruption affects me, since I am above the obstacles. The obstacles remain, nothing disappears; the dogs that attack me become dinosaurs that surround me on all sides. But I am not afraid of them since I have a shield against them, the Light that comes and saves me.
[119433]
From the 3^rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/29/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Question: Please expand on the subject of the “family in the last generation.” How is it possible, according to the example of mutual cooperation in a group, to convey this state to humanity?

Answer: If we want to understand and perceive something in the right way, we must pay attention to the soul and not the body. The soul is the yearning to unite, to disclose the ultimate driving force, the Creator. Therefore when we are talking about souls, we mean their attraction.

It seems to us that we are attracted to the external characteristics or the inner parts of a person. But in fact, they bring us together with our Reshimot (spiritual genes). This is not talking about a genetic attraction to each other, rather about a spiritual attraction. The genetic attraction is the envelope for the spiritual attraction. In other words, there is a certain tendency among the Reshimot to be attracted to each other and form an alliance between them. In our world, this is called the “alliance of the sexes,” the union between a man and a woman, essentially this is not a man and a woman, but rather it is Reshimot.

The idea is that among the Reshimot we need to connect the Reshimo de Aviut (a Reshimo from the strength of the Masach) and the Reshimo de Hitlabashut  (a Reshimo from the power of the Light).

The Reshimo de Aviut is the female part, and the Reshimo de Hitlabashut  is the male part. If these two Reshimot are connected together correctly, then they create a spiritual action with the Light, summon the Masach, and so forth.

It is the same here as well. It is said: “A man and a woman and the Shechinah between them”; where there is a man and a woman, there is a positive and a negative Reshimo. When they are connected together and create a Masach, an intention for the sake of the Creator, then the Upper Light is clothed within this Reshimo and begins to build a new Partzuf, which in this world is identical to childbirth.

Within this union are spiritual actions that we don’t know about yet. However, all of the physical actions and events that take place in our world are matched to spiritual activities.

A family in our world becomes the nucleus in which spiritual work is possible. Therefore if we are talking about a family in the last generation, then certainly mutual cooperation between the husband and wife will take place on the spiritual level. They will become a spiritual element by themselves that will work on uniting above their ego so that in the internal adhesion between them they will resemble the Creator.

This is very serious mutual work. I think that we have reached this. We already have examples of a husband and wife who are truly connected between them in this way. It all starts with working on oneself, and through this spiritual unification, a completely different effect within the family itself is achieved. This is possible.
[119601]
From the Talk about Group and Dissemination 10/20/13

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Question: Why do we feel obstacles in our dissemination to the broader public?  They are no longer personal clarifications of our own attributes? How does it bring us closer to the Creator?

Answer: A person is a small world. Everything that exists in the world is actually in a person. All the worlds are incorporated in him. Everything that I see around me is a replica of my inner attributes. There is nothing on the outside; it is only the picture of my inner reality.

This means that there are seven billion desires on the level of the speaking inside me, and infinite desires on the levels of the still, vegetative, and animate; all these attributes are inside me.

If I had to study them inside me, then I wouldn’t be able to clarify and differentiate all the stars, the galaxies, every flower and insect in the forest, all the mountains, and the people living all over the world. All of these are a replica of my internality. When we change our perception and acquire an integral perspective, then we discover that it is all very simple.

Now the world seems very complex. It’s because we look at it through a narrow perspective in which we see only separate items that are not connected in anyway. Nothing is clear and you could simply go mad. But if you install different software with a global approach inside, then everything immediately works out.

Everything around me belongs to me and to my correction since that is me. So no wonder I have to feel a stronger connection to all the parts of reality, both negative and positive. As I advance towards spirituality, accordingly their influence is greater on me; it is because I begin to correct myself.

The only thing that can develop and save me is the correction of my perception of reality to a more correct perception. So as I advance, I ask the Creator for the Light that Reforms on every level, and it corrects my attributes of reception into bestowal. My desire that used to be in order to receive begins to work with the intention of in order to bestow. In this corrected desire I already see the reality that used to be external to me as my inner reality, so it isn’t hard.

Thus, I continue to advance correcting part of the external world. The dogs that bark at me remain outside, but I already know how to get along with them; I know that they help me.
[119745]
From the 3^rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/29/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Question: I don’t really understand: How does the fact that someone attacks us and accuses us bring us closer to the revelation of the Creator?

Answer: When you drive along a road, there are shoulders on both sides of the road. Then, there are ditches on both sides that drain the water and the dirt that builds up on the road, and then there are fields or houses. This means that there are clear boundaries that limit your way.

This is exactly what a person’s life is like. When we bring up a child and guide him, we explain to him what he should do and what he shouldn’t, what he should be careful of and what he can use. We constantly try to guide him so that he will advance successfully toward a certain goal that seems to be worthwhile.

We always should know how to advance from one moment to the next. If I advance from state A to a state B that is closer to the Creator, I must know how to advance and which powers can guide me in the right direction. These powers must correct me if I want to advance in the right direction. There is only one point in me: A spark that draws me in that direction. The Creator has ignited it in my heart, so how can I advance with that spark? How should I know which way to advance?

I must move from point A to point B, which is closer to the Creator, to bestowal, to the love of others, to the love of the Creator, which means that it is opposite from me! This means that I must be free of my ego to rise above it a bit, and instead of loving myself, to be filled at least a little with the love of friends. It should be filled with the love of friends at least because loving everyone is a bit too much for me at the moment. So, it turns out that I must work with the group now.

However, how can I clear my mind of kinds of egoistic thoughts and opinions of this world? I must clarify what bestowal and receiving mean. I must understand that everyone is engaged in receiving, and I must engage in bestowal. How do I reach that? How can I be free of the influence of all the other people? How can I be free of the values of the egoistic society?

It isn’t easy to clarify that, and the Creator fixes such conditions for me that force me to clarify things each time by making greater efforts. This means that there is an opposite force that operates here and seems to stand in my way of advancing. I am forced intentionally to feel that I am confused, weak, scared, and that I don’t understand who is right and don’t know which way to advance. I am under great pressure on all sides. So what should I do?

The Creator surrounds me with many enemies and problems on the level of this world, and there is nowhere to which I can run: not forward nor backward, to the right nor the left, upward nor downward. There is simply nothing I can do. This negative pressure on all sides constantly grows and the goal keeps growing more important for me, and through the love of others, I want to reach the love of the Creator, to be adhered to Him. Eventually, this ring should be so tight around me that I will cry out to the Creator, “Help! I cannot take it anymore!”

Then, at the last moment, when the Red Sea (Yam Suf) is before me ready to swallow me (and this happens on every level), I suddenly am saved! The Light that Reforms reaches me and shows me the way, lighting it up for me, changing my perception and my feelings, and the way opens up before me!

Before that, there is no way. I don’t see anything and I don’t know which way to go. It is the same every time. This means that I am forced to go through difficult states. So, why do Kabbalists call this a life of pleasure and comfort as compared to the corporeal life filled with pain and suffering, empty of any content?

I don’t see that advancing along the spiritual path promises me an easy, pleasant life. If advancing along the road that leads to the goal of creation guaranteed a good life, my ego would run before everyone and shout, “Catch the thief!”

So, I must clarify this road in the group and check it by the connection between us. Then I really will rise above my animal feelings and understand that it is actually only the kind of life in bestowal and advancement toward the goal of creation that can be pleasurable. This is the only kind of life I want to lead. This is the only kind of life I consider “Heaven!” I want to live in bestowal, like Hafetz Hesed, not to be impressed by anything people think and say about me who are like barking dogs that surround me on all sides. This doesn’t worry me at all.

Only after going through several phases will I know that they helped me come out of Egypt. Who pushed the people of Israel out of Egypt? Pharaoh already had lost his power and his army, which are the true egoistic forces, but the mixed multitude that accompanied Israel remained.

So, when can we say that we have come out of Egypt? It is actually when the mixed multitude chases us.
[119438]
From the 3^rd part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/29/13, Writings of Baal HaSulam

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Over thousands of years, thousands of people have been trying to get out of this prison, the feeling of a narrow, small world, but they have not succeeded in doing this. And that will never change! The desire to receive will never willingly expand out of its own desire and release me, so I cannot look at reality through it and see the real world.

This will never happen! On the contrary, from day to day I will discover that my desire to receive has grown, but the opportunities for discovering new phenomena in it have contracted. And this brings me to the feeling of exile that forces me to seek and find the method of the wisdom of Kabbalah. Kabbalah explains that a person cannot see anything more within his egoistic desire.

I must reconcile myself to the fact that the ego will not allow me to feel anything besides this world. And if I want something beyond this, then I must change my attitude regarding my desire to receive. I now perceive reality selectively, only seeing whatever interests my ego. But if I want to see a wider, truer picture, or at least a picture closer to the truth, then it is up to me to rise above the desire to receive, to go beyond my egoistic desire.

For example, I can exit my desire to receive and pass into the desire of a friend, or several friends. Through this, I have already expanded my perception and will feel the world that exists outside of me. I must connect with the desire of a friend. If I am able to feel reality in his way, then it will already be completely different in comparison to what I feel within my ego. That is how I will wake up from this dream and rise above myself. At least I will be able to get out of my box, out of my prison.

The general rule,  “Love your friend as yourself” is derived from this. This is the practical means that allows a person to get out of his tiny cocoon, which appears to us as this world through one’s prism of self- interest, to rise above oneself, and find a different view.

However, so that my mind will be truly independent of my desire to receive, I should not only go out to a friend or several friends, but rather it is up to me to connect myself to a multitude of other individual desires to receive. Only through them, each time from another perspective, will I see the true reality.

In the end, all the points of view, the individual perspectives will connect into one collective view, into one expansive observation. This observation will expand indefinitely until I will be completely free from my desire to receive, and through the desires of others I will acquire freedom. My perception of reality will not be not be subject to any conditions and will be absolutely objective.

A wonderful thing is that the true perception is still felt within my desire to receive, but I will have created glasses which correct all of the defects, neutralizes them, and makes it possible for me to see and to feel the higher reality.

So we say that the spiritual work is reflected in the need to “love your neighbor,” “rising to the height of the Creator,” and so forth. For “The Torah is spoken in the human language” (Mishna); that is what we are prepared to understand and feel. Yet in fact, this is talking about a change in the perception of reality.

But we need to carry out simple activities and exercises in order to attain this change in perception: either through our primitive, egoistic desire or through a desire to receive which is directed towards bestowal. In the end, I reach a state where my efforts to change my perception transform into pleasure because I feel that I am already close to freedom.
[119016]
From the Preparation to the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 10/24/13

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