Each progresses at his or her own speed and own style and passes through one’s own specific stages. There is no need to worry about it, one does not know why one’s soul is being corrected in such a way, rising from the opposite state. The higher the soul was before the shattering, the worse it is in the broken state and the higher it rises after the correction, returning to its place.
This is what a person is given. The Creator created him or her with a soul of a certain height, and He organizes appropriate conditions for the person: thoughts, feelings, and an environment. All conditions originate from the shattering of the soul. The Creator does not consider anyone personally, but looks at the general broken soul that needs to be corrected. The shattering should go down to the lowest limit in order to start the ascent.
Each one begins to climb up, like in the parable of the king who called upon his subjects to transfer his treasury to another place and gave each of them one coin. Each carries its part, with his or her internal properties, health conditions, environment, and various obstacles along the way. He either gets sick, goes to prison, gets a promotion, or wins a million dollars in a lottery. Everyone overcomes their own obstacles, everything is arranged in advance.1
There is no need to worry about the states we go through, as if I myself am responsible for them. I am only responsible for drawing the Light in this moment. All that was and will be, was and will be arranged by the Creator. All my steps are already known. It is only the quality of the steps that is unknown. I have to move from point A to point B, but I can ride in a horse-drawn carriage, in a train, walk, or barely crawl.
The speed depends on me, but I have to go through all the states that are already predefined. There are people who anticipate future events. So what? I do not ask them for predictions because I do not want to think about what will happen to me. All that matters to me is to what extent I adhere to the Creator at every given moment. Apart from this, nothing matters: I either rise or fall, or I am thrown in all directions; the Creator will take care of me.
All the obstacles have already been built into my path according to my soul, and I have to go through them; otherwise, I will not correct my soul and will not rise from them. Therefore, they should not be taken as misfortunes. These disturbances will be revealed, and above each disturbance I will have to adhere to the Creator. The only disturbance is separation from the Creator. In each state, I worry only about how to adhere to Him more strongly, attributing all the states and all the salvations to the Creator.
It is not the states themselves that are important to me, but my attitude toward them: to what extent I justify the Creator in them and am in solidarity with Him. The Creator scares me only so that I will cling to Him and justify Him even more.
Therefore, I do not fear the future, no matter what might happen. I fear only one thing: whether I will have the power to unite with the Creator and adhere to Him, like a baby who clings to his mother as if he wants to hide back in her belly.
I have to strengthen my faith, that is, to attribute everything happening in my world to the Creator. There is no other source. Everything happens only so that I can connect it with the Creator in my heart and mind. The evil inclination, Pharaoh, this is what wants to separate me from the Creator, from the sole cause of everything that happens.2
If it were obvious to me that everything comes from the Creator, then faith would be unnecessary because there would be clear knowledge. I have to be in touch with the Creator who pulls me by the strings like a puppet. This is how I become an angel, completely controlled, like a horse or any other animal. Therefore, on one hand, I want to remain separate from the Creator, and at the same time connect with Him by my own effort above the restriction, above the concealment, as if there is no concealment or restriction. This, I “as if” arouse by myself, and it is called the “reforming Light.”
If the king wants to check to what extent the slave is devoted to him, he pretends that his life is in danger. This is how it is possible to check whether the slave is ready to sacrifice his life in order to save the king. Therefore, first of all, we need to acquire the Light of faith in which adhesion with the Creator, the Light of Hochma, the Light of knowledge, is reached.
Knowledge cannot be above faith because it is not the faith that is known to us in our world. Faith above knowledge is the willingness to bestow everything without any reason. What is required of us is devotion, in exchange for what? In exchange for nothing. First, we reach the Light of faith, of devotion, and only then can we connect with the Creator.3
Adhesion with the Creator lasts one moment, but a person wants to adhere to this moment forever as if nothing else exists. He attributes all the past, present, and future to the Creator, seeing in Him the cause and effect of all his actions and achievements. And he himself remains only one point that states all this.
The Creator created the evil inclination, and He also created the good inclination. A person only decides that “There is no one else but the Creator.”4
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 2/26/19, Writings of Baal HaSulam, Introduction to The Study of the Ten Sefirot, item 17
1 Minute 0:8:40
2 Minute 0:14:11
3 Minute 0:24:30
4 Minute 0:32:20