In the wisdom of Kabbalah, we study the actions of the upper Light upon our desire to receive, to the extent that we are ready for such changes. There is no coercion in spirituality. A person must undergo all the changes with complete understanding, feeling, agreement, and subjugation, according to his own desire. The changes within him cannot take place automatically, without his participation, impression, and reaction. He must make efforts for this. Therefore, serious changes take place gradually and require a lot of preparation.
In essence, we learn how to help the upper Light implement the program of creation in us, how to fulfill the part of the process that depends on us. This is the entire purpose of the study and of our existence.1
How is it possible for the egoistic desire to subjugate before the Creator and even enjoy annulling itself? The upper Light influences the desire to receive and changes it so that it begins to feel pleasure in subjugating before the Light. Any change in the desire is possible only because of the Light returning to the source.
The desire still wants to enjoy, but the type of the enjoyment changes. Before, it was enjoying reception, and now, it enjoys the fact that it does not receive. The previous pleasure was from a simple, natural fulfillment. Now this pleasure is from a different fulfillment, from the feeling of its surrender before the Creator.
The desire does not feel the Creator yet, but it already feels that it is subjugating before Him, before some kind of upper quality. The very action of subjugation gives it satisfaction, pleasure, calmness, and joy in its state. This is the influence of the upper Light on the desire. This happens even before the entrance into the spiritual world (before the Machsom), prior to acquiring the quality of bestowal.
Before this subjugation, a person usually experiences opposite states: rage, irritation, and anger. He is angry at being forced to surrender. The egoism is trying to escape from its cell by all means. This is an entire period at the end of which suddenly comes calmness and a person feels how wonderful it is to surrender himself.
A person experiences these two polar states in a very strong and emotional way: a great anger, and suddenly a complete calmness. He understands that subjugation is the best thing. This is the first correction that later accompanies a person throughout the entire path.
If a person is able to withstand a long period of frustration, irritation, pain from envy, and stinging ambitions that burn him from the inside and twist his soul, then at some instant, he suddenly comes out as if to fresh air.
It is like a missile that, with enormous efforts, overcomes the gravitational pull of the Earth and suddenly exits into outer space where everything is quiet, calm, and completely weightless.2
From the 1st part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/7/19, Writing of Baal HaSulam, Introduction to The Study of the Ten Sefirot, item 74
1 Minute 0:20
2 Minute 23:20; 48:42