Shamati #72, “Confidence Is the Clothing for the Light”: However, when the Light of life leaves him, which is considered that he has descended from his previous level of vitality, then he becomes clever and inquisitive. He begins to calculate the profitability of everything, is it worthwhile to do it or not.
The Light of vitality is the Light of bestowal, life with love for others; this speaks about a person as a substance, which on one hand, the force of the desire to receive operates and influences. Because of this, he wants to get everything for himself. On the other hand, the force of the desire to bestow enters him and neutralizes the desire to receive and then he even wants to bestow.
So a person is found between two forces. As it is said about two holding a Tallit, this being the person, and each one pulls him to it. The two forces are holding the person: the evil inclination and the good inclination, the desire to receive and the desire to bestow.
And the person must see himself neutrally. This means that he is responsible for both the desire to receive and the desire to bestow, both of which speak within him.
The Torah also describes this as follows. It is as if there was an old and foolish king and a small and wise child. The old king is the desire to receive whose rule we are used to. And the little child is the desire to bestow that is born only after a person matures and only according to his request.
We are constantly found under the influence of these two forces operating in our substance. From the balance of these two forces, which of them wins depends on who I will be, how I think, and what side I want.
So this requires critical self-scrutiny, constant self-criticism, to find out what is acting in me at the present moment: Specifically why I am thinking, speaking, and doing this; in this way I discover myself in thought, speech, and action.
And everything is determined according to which force controls me now: the force of reception or the force of bestowal. This means that I imagine myself as being under a bilateral influence and now must ask what the Creator wants from me. I have already begun a spiritual dialog with Him by placing myself as a neutral observer: There is me, the Creator, and the two forces by means of which He activates me.
I scrutinize these two forces and from them try to bring myself to a neutral state, to attribute both of them to the Creator. In this form, I will begin to demand additional corrections from Him beyond these two forces. As a result of this, I will reach adhesion with the Creator by reaching equivalence of form with Him as much as it is possible in my present situation.
The main thing is to feel confident that I am ready to do and to realize this at every moment! If a person understands that on the one hand, he is managed by the Creator, and on the other hand, he tries to use every means so that with all of his dependencies he will scrutinize and control his state, this means that he is involved in service to the Creator.
In this case, he will precisely scrutinize the actions of the Creator on him. And this is called “service of the Creator”: The Creator carries out all of the work on a person so that he will grow and know what the Creator is doing with him, will learn the actions of the Creator, and will want to behave like Him. So he wants to be like the Creator, become like Him and be called Adam (man), which means that he is similar (Domeh) to the Creator.
From the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 11/7/14, Shamati #72