Example: a father gives his small son a penny a day. And then love for the son awakens in the father, and he gives him five pennies.
As the small son sees that today he has received a bigger present from the father, he becomes inspired to thank his father for this. But later, when the father gives him one penny as usual, the son becomes filled with anger towards the father because of the loss he has suffered.
It turns out that instead of bringing the son closer to the father, the addition he received yesterday only pushed him away. This is because now the father is his debtor, and the small son wants the father to keep adding every day. And if the father does not do this, then all his gifts are worth nothing.
Man dies when he receives, without having attained even half of what he desires.
It is not easy to properly combine the desire for pleasure and the intention to bestow. From this example we see that we do not understand the Creator. Egoism does not tolerate one-time additions. He perceives any addition as the new norm, and he becomes angry when he does not continue to receive it.
We do not understand that when the Creator subtracts, He gives us more, not less! It is not for the desire to receive pleasure, but for us to acquire the intention to bestow. However, egoism sees the loss: one penny instead of the five it had yesterday.
The son does not understand that he himself must complete the remaining four pennies with his faith, intention, and awareness of the Giver’s greatness. Then, instead of a loss, he will acquire a wonderful gain: similarity to the Creator.
The initial, basic desire was created by the Creator in the form of a black point in the middle of the Upper Light. And it will remain a black point. We carry out everything else, including the highest degree of Infinity, on our own through the use of only one method: elevating the Giver in his eyes.
The point in my heart will not grow on its own. It will only grow when connected to a friend, only through bestowal, with which I will manage to permeate my point. It has nothing else to grow on.
The Upper Light keeps influencing us more strongly, but we do not yet understand that development is not limited with the fulfillment of desire. We develop in an increasing Light as we go back through the steps of HaVaYaH.
On this journey, stages gradually replace one another. However, we just keep waiting for new portions of Light without understanding that the time to replace reception with bestowal has come. And even though the Light increases, we perceive it as something negative, as darkness.
In reality Light is good, but in order to receive it as good, we need to become a vessel like it. In the end it pressures us, until we at least somehow agree with the order of the day and take another step towards bestowal.
This is why, instead of working directly with the desire, we need to work on the change of attitude towards the Giver. Development is not a quantitative process, but a qualitative one. We will move ahead quickly if we remember this.
From a lesson12/03/10, Writings of Rabash