Answer: It is understandable that we must maintain and work on good relationships in the family. However, the main correction is among the friends in the group. Through it you get the Surrounding Light. You need to correct the connection with those whom you are building Divinity.
Question: But, I come into daily contact with only a number of people, whereas the rest are not included in my sphere. How can I correct my connection with everyone? Does it follow that it is up to me to correct something that I haven’t felt yet?
Answer: You must ask and pray to feel the connection with all of our friends throughout the world. I need to see people with whom I am building the Divinity, the place for discovering the Creator. Who are those with whom we share an important part in the discovery of the Creator? I think that this is everyone, for otherwise the Creator would not have brought them here.
The Creator gave me these people as a group, so I want to connect with everyone, no more and no less. They always will give me the optimal number of friends, according to external conditions that we don’t understand. I am not responsible for this, and so, I accept it as it is. The Creator brings them to me, and it is up to me to think about how to construct them into a network of mutual connection. This is the spiritual connection and the material connection, as needed, in order to build the Divinity together with them.
It is up to us to connect with mutual concern for each other so that each will help everyone. This is how we build the center of the group between us, a mutual connection, concern according to the laws of “Love thy friend as thyself” and “the one who prays for his friend receives first.” If we act this way, then a network that takes on the form of mutual bestowal is discovered between us.
Even though this bestowal is egoistic, Lo Lishma, it attracts the Light that Reforms. It is not important that we still don’t have an intention to bestow. The main thing is that we yearn to attain it. We want the Creator to be discovered through the connection between us because we yearn to know, to understand, to feel Him, to go out to the upper world.
Our intention is incorrect and egoistic, but we are connected. In our condition, we are not ready yet to not to think about personal benefit. This is called Lo Lishma. Therefore, the Light that Reforms illuminates us from a distance, even though we are damaged. The main thing is that our group becomes like Him, meaning we build the connection between us.
Question: However, what exactly must I correct in relation to the friends?
Answer: What must unite us is mutual concern to discover the higher power in the connection between us, meaning bestowal and love. Mutual concern is a shared desire for the Creator. The desire for the Creator is not found in any one of us, but it is found among us. It doesn’t exist at all; it is up to us to build it. There is no vessel! There are only the personal desires of each, but there is no shared desire called Divinity.
Question: What about the correction of my characteristics, my qualities?
Answer: Only the connection with the friends requires correction. There is nothing to correct in me; I am a beast there, and a beast cannot be corrected. You already tried to connect with someone and discovered your ego. Have you already entered Egypt? If someone just annoys you, this is not connected to spiritual work.
Only if I invest effort in a connection with other people to reach a connection between us called Arvut—within which our concern for discovering the Creator, the characteristic of bestowal and love, is discovered—then I will feel how I hate everyone and am not ready to connect, and this is what is up to me to correct.
From the Preparation for the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/27/14