Ongoing Silent Conversation

Dr. Michael LaitmanQuestion: Creating a new kind of family relations is a process which gradually builds connection among us. With what does it start?

Answer: Everything begins with the course on integral education. It offers an explanation of our nature and our union with clarification of the general network that connects us together, the freedom of choice, our perpetually growing egoism, and the system in which everyone has to help the each other. We have to learn to listen to our friends in order to get inspired by them and to acknowledge the importance of self-rejection and to recognize the significance of inclusion into each other. And the most important way to advance are the workshops where we sit together, two of us (tête-à-tête) or in small groups, and discuss things trying to feel the process and figuring out the ways of building it.

There is a certain process that outlines the structure of our seminars; the instructor should lead us through it. He should constantly add questions and bring up new topics for discussion. He is the one who leads us step by step, stage by stage, and gradually allows us to develop our desires, thoughts, and aspirations. We face the situation when we have no other choice but to acknowledge certain qualities within us and compare them with what other people see in us. We also have to become aware of how we treat the same qualities in others and search for the ways of rising above our criticism.

We have to thoroughly study ourselves; however, the main thing is to learn to rise above our claims. I keep trying many times and finally achieve it! Have you seen a cat that is preparing to pounce? If it wants to leap from the floor onto the table, it flexes several times as if trying it on, and only then jumps. Similarly, we need to do the exercises and then jump.

Each seminar has a theoretical part, but the main thing is the discussion during which we get to know each other better. We learn from ourselves and bring up our doubts, problems, and difficult times that we would never bring up otherwise because of our manliness. A man (Gever – גבר) is the one who overcomes (Mitgaber – xמתגבר) himself instead of following his instincts. A hero (Gibor – גבור) is the one who conquers his egoistic predisposition.

So, we have to see our weaknesses, and what the true hero is, is overcoming them. In regular life, when people are arguing, fighting and screaming at each other, they look like little kids. Each seemed to want to demonstrate what a big egoist he is. In our workshops, we clearly demonstrate that we are the heroes, since the word “hero” (Gibor – גבור) has the same root as the word “overcome” (Hitgabrut – התגברות)

We have to talk about it openly and directly. Thanks to this mutual work, we will really start to feel each other. And never again will there be such reproaches as women frequently make to their husbands, “Why don’t you ever talk with me!” Her husband won’t even have to talk with her at all since at our workshops we’ll learn to sense each other internally. A powerful internal communication will be initiated among us.

It’s like people who have lived next to each other for many years. For example, I have lived together with my wife for 45 years now and we don’t need to talk a lot. Conversation is not a necessity anymore, but rather a tradition. If we were newlyweds who just started their married life, I would have to talk with her a lot. However, after so many years together we know each other so well that we communicate internally.

The same results can be achieved through the workshops that connect people together. If we rise beyond the family matters and talk about the world problems, the environment, society, the countries we live in, and the entire planet, all of them stem from the incorrect connection among people.

It is from this that the economy and finance are suffering. In some places, people are dying of starvation and in other places there are obese people throwing away surplus food. The reason for such a state of affairs is the wrong connections and lack of equality. That’s why it’s clear to everybody that if we manage to correct the family issues and go beyond them, we’ll achieve success.
From a “Talk About New Life” 7/12/12

Related Material:
Relating To My Other Half
The Family As The Center Of The Universe
A Family Is Support And A Model

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