Question: I have the feeling that my ego “steals” everything from me. I sit with my friends and it seems that I ascend my desire to receive, but then I feel that they are the ones who are doing that. I feel that I am in the dark, that I don’t hear anything, and don’t feel the Light. What should I do?
Answer: You should try to dissolve into the friends, like someone who is small or like someone who is new in a society.
When you come to a new society you don’t know anything and you don’t know anyone. You try to enter it without being too prominent or standing out. Suppose you come to a new work place, you simply try to keep quiet in order to discover, to see, and to feel everyone else.
This is how you should behave. Then you begin to feel what they have. You will develop like an embryo in his mother’s womb. Then gradually, to the extent that you begin to feel yourself as real and safe, you begin to express yourself together with everyone else.
Try to neutralize yourself and only be inside. This is enough, because we will create the field that exists here. You shouldn’t worry, if you do that, you will feel it.
Question: But in any case my ego will feel satisfaction in that. How can I avoid stealing from myself and from others?
Answer: Who says this is bad if you want to feel spirituality? It isn’t bad.
The goal of creation is to enjoy, to be filled, but in bestowing. You want to enter the group and to acquire that attribute of bestowal, and in it you want to feel pleasure. In the meantime that’s okay. We cannot imagine anything else.
The most important thing for us today is the yearning for bestowal, to bestow in order to feel pleasure. This is our level, called Lo Lishma, (Not for Her Sake).
When the Light comes and is gradually revealed in us, (this will happen only if we yearn for it that way), as a result of its influence we will begin to feel that the attribute of bestowal is above everything else, greater than everything, and that I want to be in it. Even if in the meantime it is egoistically, “I want to be in it.”
Then the Light will influence us in such a way that you will suddenly begin to detach from yourself, from the “I want.” Your “self” will suddenly begin to disappear and you will feel yourself “outside yourself,” outside the “self.”
Leave it to the Light! You cannot do it by yourself. You have to yearn as much as you can in all your desires, including the egoistic desires—and the Light will do all the rest.
This is a “prayer.” You are asking the Light to do this work for you. It created your ego and it is the one that will change the ego. Our yearning should be only for that in order to enable it to do this work.
If we yearn for unity, the Light will do all the rest.
We are all egoists. We don’t know and we don’t understand anything. We don’t know what will happen to us in a minute. We don’t know our attributes, we don’t know anything, and we are not required to do so. We are only required to do one thing, to simply try, to make an effort, and the Light will do all the rest.
The maximum unity in the group summons the Light, and then it changes us. We don’t have to do anything artificially. Everything will be taken care of and you just try to connect.
From the Vilnius Convention 3/23/12, Lesson 1