Baal HaSulam, “Introduction to the Study of The Ten Sefirot,” Item 115: That such a person, who is still short of one commandment, will regard himself as half unworthy and half worthy. Meaning, one should imagine that the time when he was granted repentance was in the middle of his years….
Thus, in the first half of his years he is unworthy, and in the second half of his years, he is worthy.
Question: If a person wants to complete the whole process in this lifetime, how should he make an effort in the work?
Answer: During the preparation period a person hates everyone. Then the transgressions become mistakes and he connects with everyone. But this isn’t a complete correction yet. He is still in a state of Hafetz Hesed. Eventually, on the next level a person connects until he is in adhesion.
So the whole process is aimed at unity, and a person can reach the greatest unity from the greatest separation.
On the other hand, everyone can end the process in one lifetime. Whether a person will do it is another question. It depends on him—he needs to want to end it. There is nothing else in creation except for the desire. If a person’s individual desire is small, he should find ways to increase it; he should find assistance in the wisdom of Kabbalah and in the Light that’s in it. There are no other options.
Some people come to us once a week, some come only on holidays, some come everyday, others come here in the morning and in the evening, and yet others try to spend the whole day doing what’s important. There are people who spend the whole day here because it is convenient and it feels safe, they feel like an embryo in the womb. Others want to fight their ego. It all depends on a person’s intention and on how he uses the means at his disposal.
Question: What does it mean “the middle years”?
Answer: It is the symbolic age of 40, that is, the stage in which a person ends his correction in Bina. Bina is called a blocked “Mem” (ם), whose numerical value is 40. Only after this level is it possible to move to receiving in order to bestow.
From the 4th part of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson 3/20/2012, “Introduction to TES”