What is a person? He’s a mountain of egoism and hatred for everyone. However, when this mountain of hatred (Mount Sinai) is affected by the Light, a person rises to the top of the mountain.

It is precisely by virtue of having egoism that a person has something to ascend above. Later on, as he continues to be influenced by the Light, his egoism becomes fit for receiving pleasure, to be used for the sake of bestowal.

Everything is done by the Light. You can be the most righteous of all people, and you may have risen to a high spiritual degree, but if the Light stops influencing you, you will immediately fall into your primordial egoism. There is no other alternative, as we are either ruled by our egoistic nature, or by the Light.

This will never stop no matter what spiritual state you go through since you always have to hold on to the Light so that It will influence you. Never let go of It, because the minute you let go, you will fall.

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A question I received: If a person asks the Light to bring him closer, isn’t this an egoistic request? After all, he wants it to happen in order to feel better.

My Answer: That doesn’t matter. It’s called Lo Lishma, which means that a person desires spirituality egoistically, for his own sake. He wants to feel the spiritual world, to gain a spiritual life and the sensation of the true reality, and to see that his life is not going to waste. One way or another, life keeps going on, and no one knows how much time they have left. A person doesn’t want his life to end in a meaningless way.

From the start, we cannot think about anything besides our own benefit. Therefore, if we don’t desire spirituality egoistically, by imagining how good it is for us, then it would be impossible for Kabbalah to reach us. The spiritual path starts with egoistic attainment, called Lo Lishma, and then, as a person keeps being influenced by the Upper Light, Ohr Makif, one’s egoistic attitude to spirituality is replaced with an altruistic one, called Lishma.

This is why a person’s egoism is called “help against himself” (Ezer Kenegedo). It’s because it brings him to a state where he suddenly realizes, “My own egoism is standing in my way!” He reaches a point where he has to annihilate the same ego that always used to help him and pushed him forward. However, he shouldn’t annihilate his desires, but only their egoistic intention.

This is how a person is gradually transformed by the Light.

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All of human history shows that man’s entreaties to the Creator do not merit a clear response from Him. This raises a question: If the Creator exists at all, then can we communicate with Him in some way? Will this question remain a mystery forever, like UFOs and life on other planets, where we’re forever left in the dark as to the existence of other civilizations outside of earth, which may exist but not desire to be in contact with us?

In order to attain contact with the Creator, we have to establish a connection with the people who are already in contact with Him. We have to cleave to those who are connected with the Upper System. We will then be like a child who cleaves to an adult and thus receives everything the adult has. This is how we can advance toward spirituality.

If we want our thoughts and desires to be the same as those of the great Kabbalists (Baal HaSulam and Rabash), then we will be influenced by the same Light that fulfills them. This will remedy all our problems, including all the illness of our bodies and souls. The Light knows what has to be corrected and it arranges everything in the best possible way.

The truth is that we don’t know what is really good for us. We only have to desire to come closer to the Light, and It will do everything. Therefore, our entire work is to come as close as we can to what Kabbalists wrote. We should just cleave to them with our hearts.

That is how we can take one step forward after another. No matter what happens to us, despite all the problems, mistakes and confusion, we have to aspire to draw closer to the Light.

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Three questions I received on marital relationships:

Question: In your blog post, “Don’t Look For Love In This World,” your advice is, “Don’t look for truth, justice, loyalty, and love in marital relationships.” So my question is, what are we supposed to look for in marital relationships, and how are we supposed to be partners without expecting to receive loyalty and truth?

My Answer: I see that within our global Bnei Baruch group, many people worldwide find spouses and are happy, because their common goal eliminates all the disagreements.

Question: I have been studying Kabbalah for two years. My husband and I have been married for almost twenty years. My husband refuses to have a physical relationship with me and shows very little affection or desire towards me. He believes that I should adapt to this, but I wasn’t told prior to our marriage that this would be a condition in our relationship. I have been depressed about this situation for a long time. I was hoping you could explain it from a Kabbalistic perspective: How should a man act toward his wife when it comes to a couple’s physical relationship in marriage?

My Answer: This is not a question you should be asking a Kabbalist, because Kabbalah talks only about how to restore your relationship with the Creator. By definition, Kabbalah is the revelation of the Creator to man in this world. It does not have anything to say about people’s relationships on the animate level.

Question: How does Kabbalah view marriage between elder women and younger men?

My Answer: Kabbalah has no view on it. It depends only on the people.

Related Material:
Laitman.com Post: How To Ensure A Successful Relationship
Laitman.com Post: Love, Family And The Purpose Of Creation
Laitman.com Post: Man, Woman and Divinity Between Them
Booklets: Relationships. “Family”
Baal HaSulam Article: “Peace in the World”

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