A question I received: When a person is on the path of spiritual development and is going through the period of concealment, he feels lost and confused. He understands that egoism is evil, but he is unable to part with it. Where can he find the strength to do this?
My Answer: We go through many different states throughout our life, and the states are different for every age group. At every moment in time, all kinds of inner changes take place in us with the speed of atoms spinning inside us, faster and faster. These changes take place inside our desires, on an unconscious level.
For several billion of these inner actions, there’s one instant when a “number shifts” inside us, like in a meter with many cogwheels spinning inside it, when suddenly the meter shifts from “0” to “1.” After that everything spins around inside for a long time again, and then the number jumps from “1” to “2.” This is what happens inside us as well.
This is why we have to allot some time for these actions to transpire. The same thing usually takes place in our regular lives: we often find ourselves in a situation that drags on and on, until it’s suddenly over “by itself.” And when you’re in that situation, you know that you have to change, but you just can’t.
It takes time for things to change. Meanwhile, we have to act as an “ox in a yoke,” since we can’t tell exactly what is happening to us, we don’t understand the actions taking place.
Later on, when a person enters the spiritual world, he begins to understand everything. He acquires new desires of bestowal, and through them, he is able to discern billions of actions in a single instant. This becomes simple, like his body.
However, today the same actions are also taking place inside us, infinitely fast. We have to be patient and wait, meaning that we have to continue along our path. At one point, the present state will reach an end, the “number will shift,” and we will agree to bestow.
(From part 1 of the Daily Kabbalah Lesson, on Shamati #18)